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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next

February 10, 2016

      18:13 UnNews:2016 Hillary Clinton campaign‎ (diff | hist) . . (-595)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs)
+-     18:08 User talk:UncommonMouse‎‎ (6 changes | hist) . . (+3,090)‎ . . [UncommonMouse‎; EStop‎ (2×); Spike‎ (3×)]
     18:08 (cur | prev) . . (+793)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: )
     17:43 (cur | prev) . . (+450)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: Apologies, I was ambiguous.)
     17:36 (cur | prev) . . (+292)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: Offer was to you)
     17:03 (cur | prev) . . (+350)‎ . . UncommonMouse (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: )
     07:01 (cur | prev) . . (+552)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates)
     03:08 (cur | prev) . . (+653)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: Navelism)
+-     17:42 User talk:Spike‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+503)‎ . . [PatrickCunningham‎; Spike‎]
     17:42 (cur | prev) . . (+286)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Mitt Romney: SoFixIt)
     16:10 (cur | prev) . . (+217)‎ . . PatrickCunningham (talk | contribs) (Mitt Romney: new section)
+-     16:23 HowTo:Get Super Powers‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+587)‎ . . [EStop‎ (2×)]
     16:23 (cur | prev) . . (+83)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Tweaks and fiddles.)
     16:11 (cur | prev) . . (+504)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Start fix up)
+-     15:35 (Upload log)‎ . . [HyettsTheGamer‎; EStop‎ (3×)]
     15:35 . . EStop (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:Choosepower.jpeg'' ‎
     15:26 . . EStop (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:If-only.gif'' ‎
     10:21 . . EStop (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:Policeagle.jpg'' ‎
     00:34 . . HyettsTheGamer (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:Namibia.gif'' ‎
+-N    14:46 UnNews:Masonic Lodge to accept Met Police eagles‎‎ (4 changes | hist) . . (+3,580)‎ . . [Spike‎; EStop‎ (3×)]
 m   14:46 (cur | prev) . . (+2)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs)
     11:44 (cur | prev) . . (+13)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Add sources heading (finger trouble!))
 m   10:55 (cur | prev) . . (-16)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Tweak for featuring)
N    10:47 (cur) . . (+3,581)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Masonic Eagle UnNews)
+-     12:22 Template:Lead articles‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+208)‎ . . [Spike‎ (2×)]
     12:22 (cur | prev) . . (-446)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs)
     10:56 (cur | prev) . . (+654)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs)
+-     12:13 Template:RecentUnNews‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (-111)‎ . . [Spike‎ (2×)]
     12:13 (cur | prev) . . (-99)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs)
     10:50 (cur | prev) . . (-12)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs)
      12:12 User:Spike/UnNews‎ (diff | hist) . . (+124)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Contributions: +UnNews:Hillary upends campaign staff after NH loss)
 N    12:11 UnNews:Hillary upends campaign staff after NH loss‎ (diff | hist) . . (+4,089)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (New UnNews)
+-     07:16 Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion‎‎ (5 changes | hist) . . (+793)‎ . . [Spike‎; EStop‎ (4×)]
     07:16 (cur | prev) . . (+79)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) ({{VFDn|International Rules Of Manhood}}: VFD)
     07:12 (cur | prev) . . (+68)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Game:My Untune Hero and subpages: VFD)
     07:11 (cur | prev) . . (+95)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Game:My Picross and sub-pages: VFD)
     07:09 (cur | prev) . . (+128)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) ({{VFDn|The Wire/Characters}}: VFD)
     03:12 (cur | prev) . . (+423)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) ({{VFDn|International Rules Of Manhood}}: new section)
      06:43 User talk:HyettsTheGamer‎ (diff | hist) . . (+2,761)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Change greeting (as promised))
      06:39 (Block log) . . EStop (talk | contribs) blocked 104.32.131.96 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 week(Blanker)
+-     06:38 Things America Did Not Invent‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [EStop‎; 104.32.131.96‎ (2×)]
 m   06:38 (cur | prev) . . (+6,195)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Blanker)
     06:37 (cur | prev) . . (-901)‎ . . 104.32.131.96 (talk)
     06:36 (cur | prev) . . (-5,294)‎ . . 104.32.131.96 (talk)
+-     04:26 (User creation log)‎ . . [Chimiechalez‎; TheSlothSid‎]
     04:26 . . TheSlothSid (talk | contribs) created a user account ‎
     04:14 . . Chimiechalez (talk | contribs) created a user account ‎
      03:38 Marco Rubio‎ (diff | hist) . . (+443)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (The 2016 campaign: Deer in the headlights as Rubio keeps repeating himself)
      03:11 International Rules Of Manhood‎ (diff | hist) . . (+8)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (+VFD)
+-     02:53 (Huff log)‎ . . [Spike‎ (3×)]
     02:53 . . Spike (talk | contribs) deleted page File:Namibia.gif(Unused)
     02:53 . . Spike (talk | contribs) deleted page Talk:Mister dude(Orphaned talk page)
     02:53 . . Spike (talk | contribs) deleted page Mister dude(Trolling in mainspace)
+-     02:36 UnBooks:All about pee‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+16)‎ . . [108.71.120.19‎ (2×)]
     02:36 (cur | prev) . . (+16)‎ . . 108.71.120.19 (talk)
     02:33 (cur | prev) . . (0)‎ . . 108.71.120.19 (talk) (True 16th letter)
+-     01:29 Nebraska‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [68.106.208.147‎ (2×)]
     01:29 (cur | prev) . . (+715)‎ . . 68.106.208.147 (talk) (Undid revision 5930853 by 68.106.208.147 (talk))
     01:18 (cur | prev) . . (-715)‎ . . 68.106.208.147 (talk)

February 9, 2016

      23:41 User:UncommonMouse/UnNews:Expert says Forrest Gump is wrong‎ (diff | hist) . . (0)‎ . . UncommonMouse (talk | contribs)
+-     23:34 User talk:UncommonMouse‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+677)‎ . . [UncommonMouse‎ (2×)]
     23:34 (cur | prev) . . (+17)‎ . . UncommonMouse (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: )
     23:31 (cur | prev) . . (+660)‎ . . UncommonMouse (talk | contribs) (Box of chocolates: )
 N    23:17 User:Romartus/2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl Judgement Week‎ (diff | hist) . . (+365)‎ . . Romartus (talk | contribs) (Created page with "==User:ScottPat/Andrew_Marr== Score: ==User:EStop/Malcolm_Turnbull== Score: ==User:Chunkles/Shredded_wheat== Score: ==User:ConCass2/Secret== Score: ==...")

(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?

In the news

Cambridge Uni 03.02.16.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...

February 10: International Bad Pun Day
  • 2-First recorded bitch slap
  • 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland. Panhandling Leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short
  • 1105 - Irish Potato Phantom claims responsibility for bitter harvest.
  • 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor of bread.
  • 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since bread itself.
  • 1392 - Toast is invented. Everybody proposes a bread to the inventor of toast.
  • 1890 - Oscar Wilde's new play "Pun" is first performed in London. Critics describe it as a "play on words".
  • 1950 - Future French actor Jean Reno is asked whether he wants to go to the toilet. "Oui, Oui" he replies.
  • 1951 - Avocado discovers the mol. Scientific community dismisses him when he claims that they are not, in fact, brown and fuzzy.
  • 1954 - Inventor of the handshake chokes while ingesting his own creation. Doctors attempted to finger force the patient but couldn't nail the problem in time. He died on the way to the hospital.
  • 1965 - Pele gets his balls kicked by a fellow team member. Fortunately, his club is able to replace them and allows him to continue training.
  • 1970 - Winnie the Pooh's son is born, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
  • 1973 - Describing his spiritual journey into heavy metal, Jimmy Page admits that he was "led" into it.
  • 1975 - Colorado Christian Boarding School-boy Dick Face is insulted for the first time. I would not be his last.
  • 1977 - French President Mitterand explains at a press conference that he doesn't like too many eggs for breakfast as one egg is 'un oeuf'.
  • 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
  • 1981 - Bono and The Edge agree that they, too, like the Canadian Punk band "U".
  • 1985 - Das Boot, a German film about gender neutral enclosed footwear, is released.
  • 1996 - "Punny" added to the Oxford dictionary. Subsequent bonfire nearly engulfs America.
  • 1997 - During a fight with Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson's British trainer exclaims "What's this 'ere?"
  • 1999 - The world's first cyborg can't fix himself because he is broke.
  • 2008 - The Tea Room of Mercy Hospital, Australia, has its grand opening with hair in its tea, since the Koala tea of Mercy is not strained.
  • 2017 - Walmart opens 1st store in Iraq. The only thing that was in its way before was that there was a target on every corner. Walmart stocks spike due to increase in Game department.
  • 2018 - Walmart bans sale of firearms at Iraqi stores based on public outcry due to increased violence in Kuwait.
  • 2019 - Walmart reinstates sales of firearms due to lost revenue.
  • 2031 - Juan Pablo Montoya is shot to death. Police believe the weapon to be a golf gun, because it made a hole in Juan.
  • 2067 - The Roman Catholic church is finally bereft of nuns. There were none left.
  • 2100 - Hugh Gass realises he has a huge ass.

Today's featured picture

Putpbaa

THIS EMAGE néde dél eatäèn.

Recent Articles

Marco Rubio sip.jpg

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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