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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next

July 26, 2014

+-N    20:10 Maine south high school‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (+1,069)‎ . . [Cheesecurd‎ (3×)]
     20:10 (cur | prev) . . (+11)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs)
     20:10 (cur | prev) . . (+53)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs)
N    19:45 (cur) . . (+1,005)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) (Created page with " If you like white kids, have I got the place for you. ''' == History == ''' ---- In 1963, the school was built on a garbage dump which explains a lot. In 1973, the NCA ra...")
+-     20:07 (Upload log)‎ . . [SPIKE‎; Goatman72‎; Cheesecurd‎ (2×)]
     20:07 . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "File:MaineSouthHSmainEntrance.png" ‎(The garbage dump the school was built o-Oh. Oh wait, that's the school.)
     19:55 . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:MaineSouthHSmainEntrance.png'' ‎(The garbage dump the school was-oh wait, no. Sorry, that's the school.)
     16:16 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:UnNews--FAA resumes flights into Austin.mp3'' ‎(Audio for the UnNews)
     16:12 . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:A-clockwork-orange-475864l.jpg'' ‎
+-N    19:46 User:Cheesecurd‎‎ (4 changes | hist) . . (+63)‎ . . [Cheesecurd‎ (4×)]
     19:46 (cur | prev) . . (-288)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) (About the Facility: )
     19:46 (cur | prev) . . (-655)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) (History: )
     19:39 (cur | prev) . . (-1)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) (high school)
N    19:37 (cur) . . (+1,007)‎ . . Cheesecurd (talk | contribs) (Created page with " If you like white kids, have I got the place for you. ''' == History == ''' ---- In 1963, the school was built on a garbage dump. Yeah. A garbage dump. In 1973, the NCA r...")
+-     19:41 Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+322)‎ . . [Stephenkollenborn1000‎ (2×)]
     19:41 (cur | prev) . . (+161)‎ . . Stephenkollenborn1000 (talk | contribs) ({{VFDn|ArticleName}}united socialiist states of america: new section)
     19:40 (cur | prev) . . (+161)‎ . . Stephenkollenborn1000 (talk | contribs) ({{VFDn|ArticleName}}united socialiist states of america: new section)
+-     19:11 HowTo:Chair A Meeting‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+87)‎ . . [Nickybr0‎ (2×)]
 m   19:11 (cur | prev) . . (+1)‎ . . Nickybr0 (talk | contribs) (Is this article for you?: )
 m   19:11 (cur | prev) . . (+86)‎ . . Nickybr0 (talk | contribs) (Practice Presentation: )
      18:49 Programmer‎ (diff | hist) . . (0)‎ . . Nickybr0 (talk | contribs) (When a Programmer can't program something....: )
+-     18:28 Gaijin‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (-30)‎ . . [81.153.168.77‎ (3×)]
     18:28 (cur | prev) . . (-30)‎ . . 81.153.168.77 (talk) (Love life: )
     18:27 (cur | prev) . . (+2)‎ . . 81.153.168.77 (talk) (Love life: )
     18:27 (cur | prev) . . (-2)‎ . . 81.153.168.77 (talk) (Love life: )
+-     17:16 Frozen (2013 film)‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (+56)‎ . . [Goatman72‎ (3×)]
     17:16 (cur | prev) . . (+32)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
     17:02 (cur | prev) . . (+24)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
     16:58 (cur | prev) . . (0)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
+-N    17:15 Hall of Elsanna‎‎ (6 changes | hist) . . (+4,063)‎ . . [Goatman72‎ (6×)]
     17:15 (cur | prev) . . (-18)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
     17:12 (cur | prev) . . (+83)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
     17:10 (cur | prev) . . (+2)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs) (Survivors: )
     17:08 (cur | prev) . . (+23)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
     17:07 (cur | prev) . . (+1,332)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs)
N    16:28 (cur) . . (+2,641)‎ . . Goatman72 (talk | contribs) (Created page with "The ''Hall of Elsanna'' is a cult in Orlando, Florida, founded by nerd girls. It is responsible for more brainwashings than any other event of 2014, and ...")
      17:09 User talk:Goatman72‎ (diff | hist) . . (+161)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Hall of Elsanna: new section)
      16:42 Yogi Bear‎ (diff | hist) . . (0)‎ . . 78.18.42.22 (talk)
      16:36 Uncyclopedia:Templates/In-universe/Quotes‎ (diff | hist) . . (+544)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Captains: Do not start an article with Captain Obvious or Captain Irrelevant)
      16:22 (Huff log) . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) deleted page Greeny phatom(Mass deletion of pages added by 93.152.158.4)
      16:22 (Block log) . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 93.152.158.4 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 months(Spambot or moron)
+-     16:21 Berenstain Bears‎‎ (4 changes | hist) . . (+246)‎ . . [99.102.244.159‎ (4×)]
     16:21 (cur | prev) . . (+18)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (Foes Encountered: )
     16:20 (cur | prev) . . (+95)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (Season 3: )
     16:19 (cur | prev) . . (+28)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (Season One: )
     16:17 (cur | prev) . . (+105)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk)
+-     16:21 Elmo's World‎‎ (6 changes | hist) . . (-389)‎ . . [SPIKE‎; 99.102.244.159‎ (5×)]
     16:21 (cur | prev) . . (-551)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Post-edit Anon--Clear away initial quotations spoken by "Captains" or no one at all)
     16:16 (cur | prev) . . (+8)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (End: )
     16:13 (cur | prev) . . (+1)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk)
     16:13 (cur | prev) . . (+92)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk)
     16:12 (cur | prev) . . (+11)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (End: )
     16:11 (cur | prev) . . (+50)‎ . . 99.102.244.159 (talk) (End: )
      16:18 User:SPIKE/UnNews‎ (diff | hist) . . (+48)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Contributions: Audio for FAA/Austin)
      16:18 Template:RecentUnNews‎ (diff | hist) . . (+48)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Audio for FAA/Austin)
+-     16:17 UnNews:FAA resumes flights into Austin‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+43)‎ . . [SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     16:17 (cur | prev) . . (+60)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Audio is available)
 m   16:10 (cur | prev) . . (-17)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Align with imminent audio)
      16:16 Template:RecentUnNewsAudio‎ (diff | hist) . . (-11)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (FAA resumes flights into Austin)
+-     16:16 Mormons‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+7)‎ . . [69.143.233.24‎ (2×)]
     16:16 (cur | prev) . . (+7)‎ . . 69.143.233.24 (talk) (History: )
     16:15 (cur | prev) . . (0)‎ . . 69.143.233.24 (talk) (Naming: )

(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?

In the news



On this day...

July 26: Punch Your Girlfriend Day (Michigan)
  • 3400 B.C. - Cave man punch woman. then laugh
  • 589 - King Arthur declares himself King of England after usingExcalibur to hit his woman
  • 657 - Battle of Siffin. Theys was Diffin, yo. No I'm sayn, Bitch?
  • 790 - The practice of "back handing" starts in Europe as a cure for the women talking. It has a success rate of 80%.
  • 810 - The practice of "back handing" ends in Europe as reports of excessive clean houses increases.
  • 1521 - Famed prophet Nostradamus predicts that the King of England will have an affair and take the Queen of France as his mistress.
  • 1524 - Nostradamus's house gets egged by an angry mob as they find his prediction to be wrong and that the King of England does not take the Queen of France as his mistress, but the Prince of Germany.
  • 1536 - King Henry VIII of England takes Punch Your Girlfriend day to new extremes, by killing two of his wives.
  • 1590 - Martin Luther changes his "100 Thesis" to the "99 Thesis" by deleting the sentence, "Priests are not to be allowed to have relations with children."
  • 1792 - The Whiskey Rebellion is lost as George Washington and his troops march to fight off rebels while they were drunk singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. We take one down, pass it around, and 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."
  • 1812 - The War of 1812 starts as an 18 year old young British boy gets in a fist fight with a 12 year old American. The two nations get involved as they send reinforcements to help the children.
  • 1834 - The whoopie cushion is invented as a seat cover, but does not sell well for making "sounds of unwanted body gases."
  • 1870 - The typewriter is invented with only the keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.
  • 1956 - Harry Belafonte impregnated by deadly black tarantula . Shari Belafonte born among bunch of bananas.
  • 1966 - Bloblobo, king of Bababa, knights, Bob the salesmen for his studies in the field of OhmygodIforgottochangemyboxersology.
  • 1974 - A Scottish man is viciously attacked by an alien squid after mistaking the creature for his bagpipes. Several women are punched in the process.
  • 1988 - Reading in terror - Godzilla is born in the Royal Berkshire Hospital.
  • 1994 - O.J. Simpson takes "punch your girlfriend day" a step further.
  • 1997 - Peter Piper picks a peck of pickled peppers. Pfft!
  • 2000 - 35 people with the Y2K bug are hospitalized after having close physical contact with their computers.
  • 2007 - The Green Archers are beaten by The Blue Eagles, The Archers then punch their girlfriends for not cheering hard enough. The Eagles punch their girlfriends in ecstasy.
  • 2008 - Max Mosley celebrates "punch your girlfriend day". Dressed as a Nazi prison guard.
  • 2089 - Chuck Norris punches girlfriend. Wakes dentist and long-deceased great-great-great-great grandfather Odysseus.
  • 3001 - Justin Bieber's preserved remains finally hit puberty.

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Floatingpancake

THIS IMAGE is too crappy to be featured. Eat it today.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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