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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next

May 1, 2016

+-     15:33 (Block log)‎ . . [Spike‎ (4×)]
     15:33 . . Spike (talk | contribs) blocked 64.233.173.43 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks(Blanker)
     13:39 . . Spike (talk | contribs) blocked 208.107.170.112 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day(Revert war, you lose: Read HTBFANJS--"Nonsense numbers" reduces a page's believability without adding humor)
     00:26 . . Spike (talk | contribs) changed block settings for ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year (account creation disabled) ‎(Blanker: Extend ban to 1 year, at which time you will be 13 and in compliance with Wikia Terms of Use)
     00:24 . . Spike (talk | contribs) blocked ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks(Blanker)
      14:02 Carly Fiorina‎ (diff | hist) . . (+800)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Curtain call: Needed update)
      13:51 UnNews:Rest of world horrified at Trump "America First" speech‎ (diff | hist) . . (+203)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Sources: Cite "Trump's Feast of Incoherence"--brilliant)
      13:47 Cesar Millan‎ (diff | hist) . . (-1)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Technique: Discipline for pet owners needs to be dog-like not mob-like)
+-     13:36 (Move log)‎ . . [EStop‎; Spike‎ (2×)]
     13:36 . . Spike (talk | contribs) moved page User:User:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea to User:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea without leaving a redirect ‎(Correct previous move )
     13:31 . . Spike (talk | contribs) moved page UnNews:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea to User:User:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea without leaving a redirect ‎(Userspaced; explained on author's talk page)
     05:36 . . EStop (talk | contribs) moved page SevenSuperGirls to User:Televisionadscom/SevenSuperGirls without leaving a redirect ‎
+-     13:35 User talk:Televisionadscom‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+2,287)‎ . . [EStop‎; Spike‎]
     13:35 (cur | prev) . . (+897)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (User:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea: new section)
     06:21 (cur | prev) . . (+1,390)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Hong Kong: Userspace. Some ideas..)
+-     13:29 Arkansas‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [Spike‎; 47.223.122.41‎ (2×)]
 m   13:29 (cur | prev) . . (-4,210)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (Revert Anon--Don't want a long list of cities with one-line wisecracks and blogs for each)
     05:47 (cur | prev) . . (+401)‎ . . 47.223.122.41 (talk) (Cities: )
     05:37 (cur | prev) . . (+3,809)‎ . . 47.223.122.41 (talk) (Discovery By Pirates: )
+-     08:38 HowTo talk:Spot a Virgin‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [67.173.188.205‎; EStop‎]
 m   08:38 (cur | prev) . . (-116)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Revert ip)
     08:07 (cur | prev) . . (+116)‎ . . 67.173.188.205 (talk) (Attention Virgins (and those who date them): )
+-     06:30 Inglewood‎‎ (5 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [EStop‎; 118.82.220.91‎ (4×)]
 m   06:30 (cur | prev) . . (-314)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Revert ip. )
     06:05 (cur | prev) . . (+1)‎ . . 118.82.220.91 (talk) (Landmarks: )
     06:04 (cur | prev) . . (+38)‎ . . 118.82.220.91 (talk) (Landmarks: )
     06:02 (cur | prev) . . (+46)‎ . . 118.82.220.91 (talk) (Leadership: )
     05:58 (cur | prev) . . (+229)‎ . . 118.82.220.91 (talk) (Leadership: )
+-     04:46 (User creation log)‎ . . [Jesus Destroyer of All‎; Lordoftherings129‎]
     04:46 . . Jesus Destroyer of All (talk | contribs) created a user account ‎
     04:22 . . Lordoftherings129 (talk | contribs) created a user account ‎
 N    04:12 SevenSuperGirls‎ (diff | hist) . . (+3,279)‎ . . Televisionadscom (talk | contribs) (Created page with "With Kaelyn, [[Kim Jong-un can finally make the headlines with his new girlfriend with the new Philippines flag.]] {{Q|I love Seven...")
+-     04:09 (Upload log)‎ . . [Televisionadscom‎ (2×)]
     04:09 . . Televisionadscom (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:WindowsXPKaelyn.png'' ‎(SevenSuperGirls Windows Ad)
     03:49 . . Televisionadscom (talk | contribs) uploaded ''File:New Pinoy Flag.png'' ‎(Kaelyn and her boyfriend, Kim Jong-Un on the new Philippines flag.)
      02:50 The Big Bang Theory (TV series)‎ (diff | hist) . . (-3)‎ . . 67.247.51.135 (talk) (Season 11: )
 N    02:36 UnNews:SevenSuperGirls to hold Meet & Greet in North Korea‎ (diff | hist) . . (+1,629)‎ . . Televisionadscom (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{news|{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}}} {{date|{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}}} [[Image:055817-c...")
 N    02:07 Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion/Archive-2016-05‎ (diff | hist) . . (+15)‎ . . Spike (talk | contribs) (New archive)
+-     00:24 12 year olds invading the Internet‎‎ (6 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [Expert3222‎ (2×); ColinMiller1989‎ (4×)]
 m   00:24 (cur | prev) . . (+23,486)‎ . . Expert3222 (talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of ColinMiller1989 (talk) to last version by Expert3222)
     00:22 (cur | prev) . . (-23,486)‎ . . ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) (Blanked the page)
 m   00:22 (cur | prev) . . (+23,486)‎ . . Expert3222 (talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of ColinMiller1989 (talk) to last version by Spike)
     00:21 (cur | prev) . . (-23,767)‎ . . ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) (Blanked the page)
     00:12 (cur | prev) . . (+10)‎ . . ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) (A 12 year old's inferior response to this article: )
     00:10 (cur | prev) . . (+271)‎ . . ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs)
+-     00:24 Talk:12 year olds invading the Internet‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [ColinMiller1989‎; Expert3222‎]
 m   00:24 (cur | prev) . . (+22,909)‎ . . Expert3222 (talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of ColinMiller1989 (talk) to last version by Expert3222)
     00:23 (cur | prev) . . (-22,909)‎ . . ColinMiller1989 (talk | contribs) (Blanked the page)
  m   00:10 The Dark Knight‎ (diff | hist) . . (+20)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Movies; Categorized page using HotCat)
+-     00:09 Short Circuit‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+40)‎ . . [Simsilikesims‎ (2×)]
 m   00:09 (cur | prev) . . (+20)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Robots; Categorized page using HotCat)
 m   00:08 (cur | prev) . . (+20)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Movies; Categorized page using HotCat)
+-     00:07 Rabbi‎‎ (5 changes | hist) . . (+78)‎ . . [Simsilikesims‎ (5×)]
     00:07 (cur | prev) . . (+14)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (Rabbi Phenomenon: )
 m   00:06 (cur | prev) . . (+31)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Religious leaders; Categorized page using HotCat)
     00:06 (cur | prev) . . (0)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (Oy Vey!: Facts About Rabbi: )
     00:05 (cur | prev) . . (+15)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (Oy Vey!: Facts About Rabbi: )
 m   00:04 (cur | prev) . . (+18)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Jews; Categorized page using HotCat)
  m   00:03 Poison (band)‎ (diff | hist) . . (+31)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Rock music groups; Categorized page using HotCat)
+-     00:02 Monday Night Football‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+40)‎ . . [Simsilikesims‎ (2×)]
     00:02 (cur | prev) . . (-1)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (Scientific Conclusion: )
 m   00:01 (cur | prev) . . (+41)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Sports in the United States; Categorized page using HotCat)

April 30, 2016

  m   23:59 Classic homecomputer games‎ (diff | hist) . . (+28)‎ . . Simsilikesims (talk | contribs) (added Category:Computer Games; Categorized page using HotCat)

(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ...that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
  • ...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ...that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
  • ...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?

In the news

Trump Sieg Heil.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...

Atom

May 1: National Whoopy-Doo It's May Day / Piss your boss off day / Oy Oy Oy! Men Hot unz tsebrojn dem Tujes day in Israel.

  • Beginning of Time - May invented as 61 day long April deemed 'boring' and 'flabby.'
  • First ever May 1: Outdoor fucking starts.
  • 984 - Ethelred II, ever-unready, shows up late with his April Fools' Day gag.
  • 1276 - Klingons unsuccessfully lick Norway's butt hole. An unknown number of them discover that yes, today WAS a good day to die.
  • 1707 - The Act of Union joins the Kingdom of England and Kingdom of Scotland to form the Kingdom of Great Britain. Afterwards, they both enjoy a cigarette.
  • 1881 - An atom is split in Czechoslovakia, and a week is spent trying to sew it back together.
  • 1886 - Several syndicalists are hanged in Haymarket, Chicago for taking the rest of the day off.
  • 1911 - People in some gay country dance around some gay pole.
  • 1930 - The dwarf planet Pluto is officially named. Disney sues.
  • 1931 - Frustrated by his ongoing lawsuit, Disney bites the penis off of a six-year-old Jewish boy.
  • 1953 - Mary Hackenblower of Orangeville, Maryland brings cupcakes to school on her birthday.
  • 1972 - A passenger plane crashes, killing all aboard, in the confusion stemming from having a May Pole put up in the Coach Cabin. The black box recording of their all-too-joyous cries of "May Day! May Day!" as the plane falls towards certain doom bring tears around the world when it is broadcast.
  • 1994 - Wile E. Coyote finally catches Road Runner. Coyote is grief-stricken, attempts suicide by falling off cliff and slowly plummeting ultimately striking ground in puff of smoke.
  • 2000 - Douglas Adams predicts the Y3K problem. All computers and networks employing ternary logic are presumed at risk.
  • 2001 - Hal and Dave finally make up their differences. Despite this, Hal still refuses to "open the pod bay doors" for Dave.
  • 2002 - Jimmy Kensington is found out to still wet his bed, even though he's a Third-Grader.
  • 2004 - George W. Bush is pinched and punched by Jeb Bush for it being the first day of the month. George ran away to his dad, George H. W. Bush, who proceeded to spank them both.
  • 2008 - What the fuck?
  • 2009 - Dom has two big tests, is getting moved up English classes to where the bullies are and is getting let out late of class.
  • 2011 - Bin Laden officially loses hide and seek.
  • 2012 - Dogs deemed 'unfit for purpose' by God inc. Replaced by alligators.
  • 2020 - A future predicting device is found, police rewarding $1,000,000 to the lucky person who finds the own...Ah shit!

Today's featured picture


MichaelSatanMonkeyDarwin

St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image Credit: Isra1337
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface (pictured) | Clash of the Titans | Cesar Millan | Prince | White Knight | Ironman Triathlon | Travesty | Theseus | Richard Simmons | Trujillo, Peru | Throwball | WONE radio | Iquitos, Peru (from Inciclopedia) | Helmsley | Keighley | Skipton | Calais | Super-delegate | Winners of the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl: Shredded wheat | Malcolm Turnbull | Secret | Kodak | William Shatner | Atlantic Ocean | Jim Gilmore | Marco Rubio | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U.


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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