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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next

March 5, 2015

+-     22:33 Uncyclopedia:VFH/Alien abduction insurance‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (+1,014)‎ . . [Chunkles‎; SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     22:33 (cur | prev) . . (+445)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Comment 2: Rewrote intro)
     22:26 (cur | prev) . . (+266)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) ({USERNAME})
     22:15 (cur | prev) . . (+303)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (←Comment)
      22:30 Alien abduction insurance‎ (diff | hist) . . (-314)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Eliminate Intro as several VFH voters suggested; photo to left)
      22:28 User:Chunkles‎ (diff | hist) . . (+600)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (It's time to revamp my page a bit)
      22:15 User talk:JoshuaChen‎ (diff | hist) . . (+380)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (African American: new section)
      22:13 Uncyclopedia:VFH/Hydrocarbon‎ (diff | hist) . . (+98)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (←Voted for)
      22:12 Uncyclopedia:VFH/NBC‎ (diff | hist) . . (+98)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (←Voted for)
      22:11 Uncyclopedia:VFH/Jeb Bush‎ (diff | hist) . . (+98)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (←Voted for)
      22:09 Uncyclopedia:VFH/Worst bumper stickers‎ (diff | hist) . . (+157)‎ . . Chunkles (talk | contribs) (←Voted for)
      22:05 Misa Amane‎ (diff | hist) . . (-202)‎ . . 69.132.90.161 (talk) (Quotes: )
+-     21:55 HowTo:Make a girl fat‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [105.225.6.120‎; SPIKE‎]
 m   21:55 (cur | prev) . . (-70)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Revert Anon--Adding a tip to the list doesn't add humor)
     21:50 (cur | prev) . . (+70)‎ . . 105.225.6.120 (talk) (Food: )
+-     21:21 Hadrian‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [2.217.36.170‎; SPIKE‎]
 m   21:21 (cur | prev) . . (-230)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Revert Anon--Don't chat in the text of an article, "for fucks sake")
     21:07 (cur | prev) . . (+230)‎ . . 2.217.36.170 (talk)
+-     20:04 (Block log)‎ . . [Xamralco‎; SPIKE‎ (7×)]
     20:04 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked Judge Wig (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite(Sockpuppet of Emperor Cheese)
     19:33 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 66.87.96.178 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 months(Vandal)
     18:55 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 74.51.192.245 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks(Vandal)
     18:54 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 38.116.192.73 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 months(Vandal: 2nd ban)
     18:16 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 66.30.93.58 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks(Vandal)
     17:44 . . Xamralco (talk | contribs) blocked 59.182.147.148 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 months(Inserting porn into articles)
     17:24 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 24.114.79.73 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks(Criminally stupid edit)
     17:14 . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) blocked 10thDoctorTennant (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day(No, read HTBFANJS first)
+-     19:42 User:Anton199/NotToForget‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (-127)‎ . . [Anton199‎ (2×)]
 m   19:42 (cur | prev) . . (-34)‎ . . Anton199 (talk | contribs) (Tasks: )
     19:42 (cur | prev) . . (-93)‎ . . Anton199 (talk | contribs) (To work on: removing what I won't be doing)
      19:34 (Protection log) . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) protected "Loner"‎ ‎[edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 19:34, June 5, 2015 (UTC)) ‎[move=autoconfirmed] (expires 19:34, June 5, 2015 (UTC)) ‎(Vandal magnet)
+-     19:32 User talk:Funnybony‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (+595)‎ . . [Funnybony‎; SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     19:32 (cur | prev) . . (+182)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs)
     19:23 (cur | prev) . . (+138)‎ . . Funnybony (talk | contribs)
     19:08 (cur | prev) . . (+275)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (UnNews:Tesla world battery developed by Russia‎‎: new section)
+-     19:30 UnNews:Tesla world battery developed by Russia‎‎ (5 changes | hist) . . (-7)‎ . . [Funnybony‎; EStop‎ (2×); SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     19:30 (cur | prev) . . (-377)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Restore most recent Funnybony version with my first paragraph)
     19:26 (cur | prev) . . (+370)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Lede: Tweak for featuring: The battery is the news, not the completion of a plan. Stet work of EStop)
 m   19:02 (cur | prev) . . (-391)‎ . . Funnybony (talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of EStop (talk) to last version by SPIKE)
     17:51 (cur | prev) . . (+14)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs)
     17:50 (cur | prev) . . (+377)‎ . . EStop (talk | contribs) (Trying to create a stronger angle to undelying control objective.)
+-     19:02 User talk:Taco1111‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (+523)‎ . . [209.191.164.31‎; SPIKE‎]
     19:02 (cur | prev) . . (+470)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (UnNews:Kim Jong Un brings new musical Korea to Eurovision: Cheers and welcome back)
     18:28 (cur | prev) . . (+53)‎ . . 209.191.164.31 (talk) (UnNews:Kim Jong Un brings new musical Korea to Eurovision: )
      18:59 Template:Lead articles‎ (diff | hist) . . (-90)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs)
      17:59 User talk:EStop‎ (diff | hist) . . (+178)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (UnNews:Lionel Richie wants a roof over Britain: PS on world-domination intrigue)
+-     17:43 Orange‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (0)‎ . . [Xamralco‎; 59.182.147.148‎ (2×)]
 m   17:43 (cur | prev) . . (-141)‎ . . Xamralco (talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of 59.182.147.148 (talk) to last version by 110.20.130.141)
     17:43 (cur | prev) . . (+62)‎ . . 59.182.147.148 (talk)
     17:39 (cur | prev) . . (+79)‎ . . 59.182.147.148 (talk)
+-     17:37 User talk:Romartus‎‎ (3 changes | hist) . . (+514)‎ . . [Romartus‎; SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     17:37 (cur | prev) . . (+141)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Shoulder patches)
 m   17:28 (cur | prev) . . (+118)‎ . . Romartus (talk | contribs) (Project Gemini: )
     17:26 (cur | prev) . . (+255)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Project Gemini: new section)
+-     17:35 Project Gemini‎‎ (2 changes | hist) . . (-298)‎ . . [SPIKE‎ (2×)]
     17:35 (cur | prev) . . (+204)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Missions: Gemini VI: And GPS devices)
     17:23 (cur | prev) . . (-502)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Tighten up vertical space, move 1 photo, delete "Highlights" (Uncyclopedia articles don't preview jokes to come))
  m   17:23 Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame/Everyotherusernamewastaken‎ (diff | hist) . . (+15)‎ . . Romartus (talk | contribs)
  m   17:22 Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame/Phrank Psinatra‎ (diff | hist) . . (+23)‎ . . Romartus (talk | contribs)
      17:15 User talk:10thDoctorTennant‎ (diff | hist) . . (+101)‎ . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) (Video game: 1-day ban)
      17:14 (Huff log) . . SPIKE (talk | contribs) deleted page Mexican-American War (Video game)(No thanks)

(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*...that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?

In the news

Tesla battery.jpeg


On this day...

March 5: Festival of Violent Spasms (Turkey)
  • 1337 - You are alive.
  • 1914 - Preparations to the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
  • 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today. Death tolls are still rising.
  • 1991 - Emperor George Bush Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
  • 1999 - Party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
  • 2006 - Party nearly ends. Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
  • 2008 - Ten years after aliens from outer space destroyed a significant portion of the United States, including cities such as New York City and Washington, D.C., the world is still recovering from the damage. World leaders are still shaking hands, albeit carefully, and actor Will Smith has vowed to "kick E.T.'s ass" should Earth ever be invaded again.
  • 5997 - End of the World. Turks Party in Heaven, with Allah and Jesus
  • 6666 - In Soviet Russia, Turkey Party's YOU!!

Today's featured picture

Floatingpancake

THIS IMAGE is too crappy to be featured. Eat it today.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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