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Today's Free Sample! Today's Featured Article - Medieval Marginalia In a world without the benefit of the internet it could take decades for cat memes to circulate throughout Europe while an email could take several months to deliver - a speed surpassed by AOL as long ago as 2014. So how could news be efficiently spread to an illiterate, turnip-obsessed public? The answer was to use illustrations to convey complex ideas. Chaucer himself records the latest treatise on hamster rearing arriving in Chichester and the peasantry pouring over its sage advice even while they coughed out their intestines during the Great Scratching Sickness of 1364. Hygiene standards were low in the Medieval World, leading to endemic dysentery and a consequent chronic paper shortage. Scribes took the sensible decision to pass on their knowledge in the spaces alongside the script of a popular self-help book of the day, The Holy Bible. The superstitious psycho-babble of this frankly bizarre publication now seems as incomprehensible as it is dated, but the wisdom of the Medieval Marginalia often hidden in its darkest corners speaks to us down the ages. (more...) Recently featured: Medieval Marginalia Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's Featured Article - You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit More can be yours! Join today! September 27: Being Fooled by Nigerian Scammers Day 1932 BC: The Queen of Sheba gives half of King Solomon's vast fortunes to Nigerians posing as lepers. 535: Pope Agapetus I sends half of all Vatican treasures to Nigerian princes in exchange for promises of ivory and tasty monkeys. 1822: Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone. It begins, "Dear sir, I am the cousin of the former finance minister of Nigeria, Ngubo Mbobobo..." 1882: Oscar Wilde is notified that he has been selected to receive £24.9 million from persecuted Nigerian businessman Mr. Mboto Nzuzuwawe! All he has to do is telegraph his checking account number! 1905: Albert Einstein publishes the paper "Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?" in Annalen der Physik. This paper describes the relationship between energy and mass according to the equation E=MC2, where E is energy, M represents mass, and C is the number of Nigerian emails circling the internet at any given point. 1942: Adolf Hitler gets scammed out of all of Nazi Germany's tank anti-freeze budget by a Nigerian claiming to need a small sum of money to export his emu stock and giant vast fortunes. 2005: George W. Bush announces a 10,000,000 USD injection into the US economy, after receiving an email from "Dr. David Ngumutumutu" who has all this money from some American guy's Nigerian bank account, who died in a plane crash with the rest of his family. 2010: You go onto Uncyclopedia.org and check what anniversary it is after you paid a Nigerian $500 because he claimed to know the secret of life and that it was on this website. 2043: You are trying to research the lost Egyptian eggplant known as, 'The Interwebz.' Archived Anniversaries	edit For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS! Corbyn re-elected Labour leader Cleveland set to merge with East Cleveland ( listen) (pictured) Iceland to take Iceland to court over identity 500 million Yahoo! accounts hacked NASA to announce life in Europe Muppet chef suspected of pressure cooker bombing Local takeaway joins space race Hillary health update! Obama rallies the zombie vote Hillary is all right! She's fine ( listen) Hillary "short-circuits" U.S. Presidency becomes a two-"man" race ( listen) Tiger Woods to resume career SpaceX gets bill for overcooked satellite Hermine outpolls Clinton and Trump ( listen) EC demands Apple pay more tax Trump and Mexicans agree on border wall ( listen) Trump promises first presidential state visit to exoplanet Distrustful Brits bank their pensions Second Front Pages: Brexit • Hillary! • Trump • UK 2015 election • Greece More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ...that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? Read More
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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,446 articles. 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