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Today's Free Sample!Today's Featured Article - Introduction joke
The introduction joke is the premise of all good speeches, presentations, conferences and keynotes. Its role is multiple: it helps to relax the audience and increase its attention, also giving the impression that the guy who's going to talk for two hours is as funny as Groucho Marx, especially in a speech on Greek economic policy, eulogizing a statesman who just died, or announcing the nation's surrender to an occupying Army. The skeptical reader who is still not convinced may wish to review famous speeches from history and imagine the effect if the orator had not begun his speech with the introduction joke (more...) Recently featured: Introduction joke - Neptune
Yesterday's Featured Article - Neptune
Neptune is a planet. Its astronomical symbol is ♆, a stylized version of Devil's trident and it is said that this symbol was given to a planet by a satanist. Neptune is far away in this galaxy and is one of the 9... er... that is, 8 planets of the solar system. Pluto recently had to resign its planet title since it lost by KO to Neptune in an unification bout. One thing many people don't know is that Neptune actually has one ring like Saturn does but lost it and can't find the damn thing since it is its old engagement ring. As the marriage with Uranus was ailing, the couple soon broke up and Neptune took off its ring for some time. It's probably floating around the Solar system somewhere. Scientists say the spherical bunch of gas just doesn't seem to care. Neptune is freezingly cold and has no atmosphere. Even though it is represented as a blue planet, it is actually darker than the darkest dark side of the moon because the Sun is so darn far away. Neptune often feels lonely because it knows deep in its guts that man will never reach it.(more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia More can be yours! Join today! December 10: Nobel Prize ceremony awards
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