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Today's Free Sample!Today's Featured Article - Trellech
Trellech is a small dystopian Welsh Village community based atop a very big hill on the border between Wales and England. Due to its less than unique location of being atop a very big hill, it is know to locals as 'Top of the Hill'. Trellech has often been referred to the real life 'Royson Vasey' of the UK due to its unique weirdness and was the inspiration for the dysfunctional fictional village of Royson Vasey that featured in the BBC comedy series the League of Gentlemen. Trellech sits just 2 miles within the Welsh border in the ancient county of Monmouthshire in South East Wales. Historically, there have been lengthy campaigns between the English and the Welsh over who should lay claim to Monmouthshire, with the English insisting it should be in Wales and the Welsh insisting it should be in England. Eventually in 1974, after an unlucky throw of the dice in the county council chambers, Monmouthshire was determined to be in Wales, much to the disgust and annoyance of the council. Monmouthshire is to be considered a foster child of a county, currently in the care of the Welsh due to it having a troubled upbringing and absent geographical parents. To the North of Trellech lies the town of Monmouth, known locally as 'Mon' and to the South, the town of Chepstow, known locally as Chepstow in order not to abbreviate the name to 'Cheps' and mistake the town for the staple diet of the area that is Chips. (more...) Yesterday's Featured Article - Florence Nightingale
Florence Nightingale (12 May 1820 – 13 August 1910) was a confidence trickster who traveled with the British Army to the Crimea to steal dead soldier's watches. Her preferred modus-operandi was to dress as a nurse (nursing practices in the Crimean War were so pathetic that Charles Manson could have pulled it off), wander around military hospitals without making eye-contact with anybody and administer "mercy killings" with a pillow. She is often credited with the invention of the Pie Chart, which she used to record the watch-to-soldier ratio in the British Army. She in fact stole the idea from a man called William Playfair. Florence NEVER played fair! Florence Nightingale was born in Italy to upper-class British parents and named for the city of her birth (note for the terminally dumb: Florence. She returned with her family to Britain when she was one, due to her father being a fugitive in her birth-country for referring to the Pope as "...a pointy hatted, stuttering fool with the personal hygiene of a particularly unkempt goat". Florence was home-schooled by her father in the two family homes at Embley and Lea Hurst. Lessons included cooking, sewing, looking pretty, doing what her future husband fucking well said and taking a beating quietly if she failed her home making duties. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia More can be yours! Join today! March 17: Sex Day (not Belgium)
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