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Today's Featured Article - F4

F4 is one of the more notorious keys of the keyboard. F4 is actually a contraction of the original spelling "ffff", which was first used in 1982 century by the great programmer Ffffrancis Ffffiddleton, so that he could contract his name when writing it out on his computer. Since then, F4 has taken on many other uses and functions however to this day, the default setting of F4 is to type out four fs.

Linguistically, ffff is known as a sustained unvoiced labiodental fricative with an aspirated termination. The sound is not unlike that of someone slashing your bike tires or speaking through a hole in one's throat.

To produce the purest ffff sound, however, have a friend start saying "ffffffffff", then when they get to the third f, jab them in the stomach, not too hard but not too pansy-like. You will be richly rewarded with a superbly intonated ffff. This is great fun at parties.

The F4 key is a key found on most keyboards in between the F3 and the F5 key and most often above the number 4 key though sometimes a little to the left. On some keyboards the F4 key is actually the number 4 key with F4 in blue in the bottom right corner in a much smaller font than the F4 key. It can only be pressed if you hold down the blue FN key. There is no F4 key on typewriters as typewriters cannot carry out functions. (more...)

Recently featured: F4

Yesterday's Featured Article - Napoleonic Wars

The Napoleonic Wars were a series of conflicts that swirled around a cross Corsican named Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon was too short to be a king but barely tall enough for the title of Emperor, a rank sufficient to accomplish the longstanding French dream — creation of a unified Europe run not entirely by the Germans. Waging this war let him plant his flag — and seed — in every country he crossed. As a result, everyone in Europe loves France and there are many short people in villages throughout the continent.

During the conflict, the French were supported by many diverse countries, such as Spain, up to the very moment that France invaded them. They were opposed by shifting coalitions of Britain, Austria, Russia, and Prussia. Britain's UKIP maintains the fight against Napoleon even today.

At the beginning, Napoleon extended his empire everywhere on the continent that did not matter to Britain and Russia. This was not successful in making the Russians and British capitulate. He then invaded Russia, which did not work either. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Template:Boner, featured on 14 July 2012. See the featured version.
Zach Braff, featured on 14 July 2011. See the featured version.
V., featured on 14 July 2010. See the featured version.
UnNews:Is the Government doing enough to appease the Sun God?, featured on 14 July 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (pictured)
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ...that one person can change the world?
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins?
  • ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ...that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe?

In the news

On this day...

July 14: National Surrender Day (France)
  • 1789 - French citizens storm the Bastille, a large prison, and free seven prisoners who were wrongly incarcerated after being accused of that most heinous of crimes in France: being English.
  • 1798 - The Sedition Act becomes United States law, making it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. The Uncyclopedia farm is raided, and several prized bovine are tipped over.
  • 1969 - The United States removes all large bills from circulation, much to the dismay of the legendary Salmon P. Chase (the face of the $10,000 bill) and his adoring fans.
  • 1974 - It's Christmas, Folks, and Just Look at the Mess We've Made by John Lennon reached number one on the charts.
  • 1982 - Matteo Mossini is born. And in 2010 he'll be one of the most annoying person in the known world. Happy birthday, Mox.
  • 2000 - A powerful solar flare, later named the Bastille Day Event, causes a geomagnetic storm on Earth. The French immediately surrender to the sun and agree to a two-year occupation of Paris, much to the chagrin of French sunblock and parasol manufacturers.
  • 2007 - A breakthrough study shows that those who read often are actually better at reading than those who seldom read.
  • 2008 - A second breakthrough study shows that those who seldom read are better at not reading than those who read often.
  • 2009 - A third breakthrough study shows that those who read often are worse at reading when those who seldom read deprive the former of their pretentious glasses.
  • 2010 - A fourth breakthrough study shows that those who read often do not know how to read, while those who seldom read are contributors to Uncyclopedia.
  • 2011 - A fifth breakthrough study shows that breakthrough studies get annoying fairly quickly.
  • 2012 - Nothing because the world has exploded and you are gonzo.

Today's featured picture

A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket.

Image Credit: Hindleyite
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