*...that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
Today's featured Tombstone
During the early to mid-1990s, drive-by giraffing was a major problem throughout Europe and Africa. Since then numbers have reduced, following a pact between rival gangs. However, they are on the rise in Los Angeles once again, particularly in and around the zoo, as African giraffe's attempt to reestablish dominance in their neighborhoods.
Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.