UnBooks:My Pal Stanley Kubrick Tonight we honor one of the finest directors of the 20th Century, the late, great Stanley Kubrick. As the 2012 President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences I want to give a warm Hollywood welcome to our keynote speaker, Father John Murphy. The Padre, as we in the winner's circle know him, just flew in from the Vatican on his private jet.
Father Murphy knew Stanley for over 35 years, up to and including his untimely death in 1999, so I'm sure His Holiness has a treasure trove of memorable moments to share with us. Without further ado, would you kindly welcome Pope Benedict's right hand, the Keeper of the Keys, and the dizzy Dean of the College of Cardinals, Father John Murphy.
Yesterday's Featured Article - Television
Television is the end product of a signal produced by a stream of electrons impacting on the phosphors of a cathode ray tube. This relatively simple device also happens to be the worst thing to have ever happened to the human race's intelligence. Well, until the Internet that is. The phenomenon was observed by a British World War I general named William Crookes about a century ago, and he thought he saw an Iron Cross, which after fighting the Germans, triggered what we now understand to be a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It ruined him. He died a penniless, insane, incoherent, babbling, broken man after this, his last discovery. Crookes spent the remainder of his life in and out of sanitoriums, living in a cardboard box under an exit ramp, and selling pencils for a nickel on downtown sidewalks.
After this first image, another inventor named Sir Thomas Television came up with a way to fire electrons on to phosphors on the inside surface of the tube, making it possible to project what many believed to be black-and-white images. Thus actual television was born.
- ...that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (pictured)
- ...that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
- ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ...that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ...that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies?
- ...that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?