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Today's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?

Not much!

That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power?

Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.

I'd love to hear more about power!

Of course you would! (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnNews:Chinese claim Ron Paul unerectable, featured on 30 January 2012. See the featured version.
UnBooks:Let's take a walk in the city!, featured on 30 January 2011. See the featured version.
Thin Mints, featured on 30 January 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Nothing ever happened here
  • ...that there's nothing to see here? (pictured)
  • ...that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ...that under Communism, everyone gets an C?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
  • ...that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
  • ...that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
  • ...that compromise is a great diplomatic tool?
    • ...although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?

In the news

On this day...

Vaderguild color

That's no moon...

January 30: International Cliche Day

  • A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.... - The evil armies attack, and only a hero can save the light side.
  • Once upon a time - A young girl, living in poverty, met Prince Charming and they lived happily ever after.
  • 50BC - Nero plays the violin while Rome burns.
  • 42- Something happens.
  • 69- Two people have sex in a kinky position.
  • 1110 - Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before.
  • 1111 - Besides, there's plenty more fish in the sea.
  • 1268 - A battle of epic proportions occurs. The bad guys lose and the Half-good guys win. Our heroes from the future find themselves trapped in this age of rape and plundering, and just as they are to be executed for public fornication, the funky professor back in the future figures out a way to save them, and bring them back.
  • 1337- Awesome shit happens.
  • 1859 - Abraham Lincoln fights his evil twin.
  • 1875 - Oscar Wilde says something that touches each and every one of our hearts.
  • 1939-1945 The bad guys are a bunch of Nazis. Wow, that's really original.
  • 1945 - President Truman considers bombing Japan with the A-bomb. "It's crazy", he says, "but just crazy enough to work."
  • 1960 - The first American movie is released involving guns, aliens, tits, love-triangles, dinosaurs, Mars, and a young misfit whose strange talent is needed to save the world.
  • 1979 - The Japanese release their first movie, game, book, and porno where key characters die for shock-value. Survival rate of Japanese characters lowers to 10%
  • 2003 - America liberates Iraqistan to bring freedom to the Arabs. The liberal media rejects patriotism.
  • 2006 - The anniversary list once again becomes a chat room.
  • 2007 - You wake up, and it was all a dream.
  • 2010 - Aliens invade, but they have a hidden weakness which is discovered just in time.
  • 2011 - Aliens invade again. Different aliens. We shoot the mother ship with a one in a million chance of it hitting. It hits.
  • 2017 - A rag-tag misfit with his own set of rules is persuaded to help the police track down the kitten ripper bandit in order to buy his own freedom.
  • 2101 - War was beginning.
  • 2242 - Uruguay changes its name to UrJustinBeiberTwilightfagharrypotterbananasplitlover
  • 2407 - Super Mario made an apperance in his 1,309th video game entitled "Mario saves the Princess, AGAIN." It never gets old does it?

666

  • +9000 - Vegeta finally gets the même about his catchphrase

Today's featured picture

Helloapocalypse

"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
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