From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
- Bienvenue à, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 30,454 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!
- Willkommen an, sorgt die neutrale Enzyklopädie dafür gänzlich von Käse, daß jeder veröffentlichen kann, wenn sie ausreichende Fonds haben. Sophia hat 30,454 Bankkonten eröffnet, die seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 numeriert wurden. Vor der Ausgabe lesen die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
- Benvenuto al, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 30,454 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.
Today's Featured Account
Today's Featured Article - Numbers
The number is a man made cultural construction which has no inherent relationship to the physical world. There are no NUMBERS in the universe and if you asked the universe if it wanted any it would respond with a long deep whispery silence. Numbers have no relationship to the spiritual world as God is dead over a century now my friend. It does have a relationship to the psychological world as numbers have feelings. Fragile shattered feelings.
The history of simple numbers starts from hungry nomads counting sheep to warriors counting lost teeth and enging with Saudi Arabian sultans counting their children. None of these counting systems included a zero as no one needed to count something that they had none of. The invention of the zero propelled numbers from an already abstract concept to a radioactive intellectual hysteria. It is impossible to find one single object in your house that could have arrived where it is without the digit zero. Though this is strange...as there are no inherant zeros in the universe...so how did it get there?
Then suddenly there are creepy decimal places. Dangerous negative numbers. Violent abstract algebra. Imagine how difficult it would be to measure the radius of your coffee mug without the digit zero! Think about that when you wake up at five in the morning with three children screaming in their pee soaked pajamas. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Cleopatra
Cleopatra of Egypt is the most famous woman who has ever lived unless you count Miley Cyrus. She was the smart Queen of Egypt who shrewdly manipulated a succession of Roman generals including Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to get her own way. If they thought of her as a bit of classy 'Egyptian rumpy pumpy', Cleopatra was also busy working out how to extract the maximum political benefit from her selective couplings. As Cleopatra would say in private:'Rome be damned, what is that collection of shacks compared to Alexandria? I would straddle their women if it meant I was in charge of a new Romano-Hanky-Panky world.
Cleopatra Neon 'Pitta-Patter' was born around 69 BC in Alexandria , Egypt to Pharaoh Ptolemy 'The Loosest Flute in the Orchestra' and Cleopatra Jones, an African-American-Welsh political activist who was in the city on her gap year... (more...)
You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured.
Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.
Obviously you didn't know...
From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:
Medieval science | Dursley | Southport | Hesiod | Togo | The Doctor is IN | Bible Collector's Edition | Etiquette | Game Dev Tycoon | ST Math | King Biscuit | Selfie | Shants | South American dreadnought race | Camper van | Gabon | Potter Stewart | Mecca (revived) | Introduction joke | Engineer (rework) | Cluedo Columbine edition | Hey Jude | UnTunes:Be Gay |
Writer of the Month