The number is a man made cultural construction which has no inherent relationship to the physical world. There are no NUMBERS in the universe and if you asked the universe if it wanted any it would respond with a long deep whispery silence. Numbers have no relationship to the spiritual world as God is dead over a century now my friend. It does have a relationship to the psychological world as numbers have feelings. Fragile shattered feelings.
The history of simple numbers starts from hungry nomads counting sheep to warriors counting lost teeth and enging with Saudi Arabian sultans counting their children. None of these counting systems included a zero as no one needed to count something that they had none of. The invention of the zero propelled numbers from an already abstract concept to a radioactive intellectual hysteria. It is impossible to find one single object in your house that could have arrived where it is without the digit zero. Though this is strange...as there are no inherant zeros in the universe...so how did it get there?
Then suddenly there are creepy decimal places. Dangerous negative numbers. Violent abstract algebra. Imagine how difficult it would be to measure the radius of your coffee mug without the digit zero! Think about that when you wake up at five in the morning with three children screaming in their pee soaked pajamas.
Cleopatra of Egypt is the most famous woman who has ever lived unless you count Miley Cyrus. She was the smart Queen of Egypt who shrewdly manipulated a succession of Roman generals including Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to get her own way. If they thought of her as a bit of classy 'Egyptian rumpy pumpy', Cleopatra was also busy working out how to extract the maximum political benefit from her selective couplings. As Cleopatra would say in private:'Rome be damned, what is that collection of shacks compared to Alexandria? I would straddle their women if it meant I was in charge of a new Romano-Hanky-Panky world.
Cleopatra Neon 'Pitta-Patter' was born around 69 BC in Alexandria , Egypt to Pharaoh Ptolemy 'The Loosest Flute in the Orchestra' and Cleopatra Jones, an African-American-Welsh political activist who was in the city on her gap year... (more...)
Did you know...
*...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
2006 - Personal hygiene forced upon France by new EU ruling. The French promptly withdraw from the EU. All traces of the bathtub are destroyed and the french quickly return to smelling of bad cheese and garlic. Celebratory riots last into the new year
2007 - Man discovers that the white stuff on your tongue causes your breath to smell like shit. The Government promptly forces everone to brush their tongues.
2012 - World Ends only to be repopulated seconds later.
2017 - Saw XVI is a deathday movie which kills anyone who watches
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many monthsyears to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!