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Today's featured article
(Vote for Uncyclopedia's Top 10 Articles of 2005)

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Warranty

Yesterday's Featured Article - Warranty

ReadingDoc

IMPORTANT PIECE OF PAPER! DO NOT BLINDLY THROW AWAY BEFORE READING. Thank you for purchasing a free copy of Uncyclopedia to read in your web browser, courtesy of Uncyclopedia Inc.! We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed making it. To guarantee your complete satisfaction with our product, we have included a 1-year limited warranty, which covers your copy starting at the moment you loaded it in your tab. Read below for the full terms and conditions prior to using this product.

For the purposes of clarifying further sections in this document, our lawyers have conveniently decided to define the following terms. They could have been happy English majors employed to work on a reputable dictionary, but they instead had to fall back on a law career and can now only enjoy offering shorthand to making reading legalese a bit easier for lesser humans. Please take the time to read this section if you want any hope of understanding the rest, assuming you can remember all of this.

  • "Agreement" - This agreement. Hope that clears up any confusion before we proceed further.
  • "Limited Warranty Period" - The time span during which this Agreement is effective.
  • "You" - Take a wild guess. If you have multiple personality disorder, this Agreement applies equally to you, you, you, and you.
  • "Product" - The Uncyclopedia website, and all the hilarious articles it contains.
  • "Reseller" - Your ISP, whether it be Comcast or your neighbor's unsecured WiFi router.
  • "The Company" - Uncyclopedia Inc. and everyone who contributes to it.

(more...)

On this day...
Day after tomorrow

August 27: The Day After Tomorrow

  • 1793 - French counter-revolution. Corian becomes the counter du jour.
  • 1883 - Krakatoa explodes, hurling pumice, rubber ducks, loofahs and other bathing accessories over 150 miles.
  • 1928 - The Kellogg-Post Pact, renouncing oatmeal as an instrument of foreign policy, was signed by 60 cereal companies.
  • 2002 - Armageddon
  • 2002.5 - Armageddon Nervous
  • 2003 - Armageddon Outta Here
  • 2 minutes later - Chuck Norris remembers to close the door of his fridge.
  • 2004 - Three days from last Tuesday, something important happened.
  • 2006 - Today is really August 29th.
  • 2007 - Today is the day before tomorrow.
  • 2009 - Scientists proved the real reason of global warming is increasing group sex rate of eskimos.
  • 2101 - All your base are belong to us.
Word of the Day
procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


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Did you know...
*...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
Today's featured picture
Jeez-it2

Orange, chewy, and holy; communion will never be the same again!

Image Credit: RadicalX
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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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