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m (revert crazy Canadian holiday or whatever it was)
(happy 4th :))
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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</h1>
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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia Americana]],</h1>
<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</div>
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<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|all good, loyal Americans can edit]].</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in English</div>
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<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in American</div>
 
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*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]]
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*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Capitol Hill]]
*[[:Category:Games|Games]]
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*[[:Category:Games|War Games]]
*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]]
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*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Silicon Valley]]
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*[[:Category:People|People]]
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*[[:Category:People|Great Americans]]
*[[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]]
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*[[:Category:Quaint|Walk softly]]
*[[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]]
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*[[:Category:Coherent|Carry a big stick]]
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*[[:Category:Science|Science]]
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*[[:Category:Science|US Patents]]
*[[:Category:History|History]]
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*[[:Category:History|US History]]
*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All]]'''
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*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All America]]'''
 
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[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Donations]]
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[[Beginner's Guide|Constitution]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Declaration of Independence]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Liberty Bell]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Bill of Rights]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|NATO]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Support the US war effort]]
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[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
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[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|50 States]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|American Idols]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|Red, White &amp; Blue]]
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Today's featured article</h2>
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#4040ff;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> USA Today's Front Page Story</h2>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#4040ff;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did y'all know...</h2>
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff0f0;"
<!--! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Word of the Day
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<!--! style="background-color:#f2cedf; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #bfa3b0; text-align:left" |Noah Webster's word of the day
 
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|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd/{{CURRENTMONTH}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd/{{CURRENTMONTH}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">In the news</h2>
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #bfa3b0;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Dispatches from the Voice of America</h2>
 
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[[Image:Flag of USA.gif|thumb|America, the beautiful]]
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'''[[UnNews:Main Page|UnNews]]''' &ndash; '''[http://www.freewebs.com/uncyclopediacast/ Radio Free Lunch]'''<br>
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'''[[UnNews:Main Page|Voice of America]]''' &ndash; '''[http://www.freewebs.com/uncyclopediacast/ Radio Free Lunch]'''<br>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #bfa3b0;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">On this day in America...</h2>
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff8f2;"
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #ff4040;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">George Eastman's featured picture</h2>
 
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
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Protected by the [[Help:Fair Use|Declaration of Independence]] and an elite clan of [[Clinja|Minutemen]]. [[God]] bless [[America]]!
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]

Revision as of 04:00, July 4, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia Americana,

31,124 articles in American

Constitution · Declaration of Independence · Liberty Bell · Bill of Rights · NATO · Support the US war effort

50 States · American Idols · Red, White & Blue

USA Today's Front Page Story

Today's Featured Article - Colloquialism

Apprenticeship

Colloquialisms are, you know, a bunch of mumbo-jumbo words your everyday Johnny-come-lately uses when chewing the rag, and not cool for, like, formal speech or whatever. The crincum-crancum of the common tongue is mainly used during pow-wows or bull sessions when hanging out. The word colloquial originally was about the way we talk, where the prose marches to a different drummer than writing things down and all that sort of stuff. Throwing a curved ball however, the colloquial register is about free and easy language rather than, you know, the medium. The Dictionary shows colloquialisms with the abbreviation colloq. for geeks and bookworms.

By and large, colloquial language is standalone from run-of-the-mill formal speech or writing. The mixed bag of jibba-jabba tends to bubble to the surface, once the speaker has chilled out enough to pull his/her head out of her/his ass. Babblative chit-chat may contain a bucket load of slanguage, but for all intents and purposes, is not tied to hackneyed terms at all. Other examples of colloquial language use word mash and foul language, more often than not. A colloquial name is also the nickname punters use to peg a thing or person in the place of the real name. An inflated tractor tyre pulled behind a speedboat at a holiday resort and indeed the geezer driving it, could be refered to as a doughnut, or as Doughnut by both the tourists and the locals.

Colloquialisms are a bigger ball of wax than just pidgin speak used by kids, grunts, fish-heads or donkey-wallopers. In the main, colloquial language shakes and bakes words and terms that are commonly known and easily understood by speakers of the language worldwide: "See all, ear all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. An' if th'ivver does owt for nowt, allus do it for thissen." for example. Slang is a posse of phat raps home-boys use to flex they's sickness, to be down with the rat packs. Slang can sound like a load of epizootics of the blowhole to your average Mondeo-Man, as — despite slang terms being a dime a dozen — they not part of standard English, dig? (more...)

Recently featured: Colloquialism

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did y'all know...

*...that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
  • ...that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?

Dispatches from the Voice of America

Ants1.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


Flag of USA

America, the beautiful


On this day in America...

August 5: Mysterious Woody At The Mall Day:
Anniegakufu
  • 1812 - Famed time traveller Woody Harrelson goes back in time to bring the idea of the mall to the past.
  • 1924 - The comic strip Little Orphan Annie debuts. (pictured)
  • 1940 - Joseph Stalin is caught with a woody at the mall. Later that evening, twelve million peasants are killed.
  • 1955 - Carmen Miranda dies; shares of United Fruit decline 20% in heavy trading.
  • 1962 - Film actress and sex icon Marilyn Monroe is found dead in her Los Angeles home, apparently having overdosed on sleeping pills. Teenaged males everywhere declare an International Day of No Masturbation to mourn her passing.
  • 1980 - Woody Allen appears mysteriously at Detroit strip mall, but is disappointed to find that the Big Boy doesn't offer kosher meals.
  • 1984 - Toronto Blue Jay's player Cliff Johnson gets good wood.
  • 2000 - Academy Award winning actor Sir Alec Guiness dies at the age of 86. Or at least, it is assumed he died, since all that is found is an empty robe and a lightsaber.

George Eastman's featured picture

Formbygrill

Hee hee....turned out shite again? Try the George Formby Mean Lean on a Lamppost Grilling Machine, put a little ukulele in YOUR hand.

Image Credit: Hindleyite
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Fair and balanced

Hercules | The Angry Video Game Nerd | Timur the Lame | Wasp | Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher | Colloquialism | Suit | Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee | Comcast | Green Party (UK) | Lily Savage | Microsoft PowerPoint | Warranty | Unicode | Hillsdale College | Frank Miller | United Kingdom general election, 2015 | Sault Ste. Marie | Metadata | New meat from the Surprise Me! Spring Festival: Ted Cruz | Box-spring | Chamber pot | Coming soon | First-past-the-post voting |


More recent articles | Most wanted outlaws | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Great American heroes

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


America's staunchest allies

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