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m (revert crazy Canadian holiday or whatever it was)
(happy 4th :))
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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</h1>
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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia Americana]],</h1>
<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</div>
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<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|all good, loyal Americans can edit]].</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in English</div>
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<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in American</div>
 
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*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]]
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*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Capitol Hill]]
*[[:Category:Games|Games]]
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*[[:Category:Games|War Games]]
*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]]
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*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Silicon Valley]]
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*[[:Category:People|People]]
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*[[:Category:People|Great Americans]]
*[[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]]
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*[[:Category:Quaint|Walk softly]]
*[[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]]
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*[[:Category:Coherent|Carry a big stick]]
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*[[:Category:Science|Science]]
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*[[:Category:Science|US Patents]]
*[[:Category:History|History]]
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*[[:Category:History|US History]]
*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All]]'''
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*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All America]]'''
 
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[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Donations]]
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[[Beginner's Guide|Constitution]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Declaration of Independence]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Liberty Bell]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Bill of Rights]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|NATO]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Support the US war effort]]
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[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
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[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|50 States]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|American Idols]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|Red, White &amp; Blue]]
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Today's featured article</h2>
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#4040ff;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> USA Today's Front Page Story</h2>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#4040ff;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did y'all know...</h2>
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff0f0;"
<!--! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Word of the Day
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<!--! style="background-color:#f2cedf; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #bfa3b0; text-align:left" |Noah Webster's word of the day
 
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|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd/{{CURRENTMONTH}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd/{{CURRENTMONTH}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">In the news</h2>
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #bfa3b0;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Dispatches from the Voice of America</h2>
 
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[[Image:Flag of USA.gif|thumb|America, the beautiful]]
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<div style="text-align: right;" class="noprint">
'''[[UnNews:Main Page|UnNews]]''' &ndash; '''[http://www.freewebs.com/uncyclopediacast/ Radio Free Lunch]'''<br>
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'''[[UnNews:Main Page|Voice of America]]''' &ndash; '''[http://www.freewebs.com/uncyclopediacast/ Radio Free Lunch]'''<br>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #bfa3b0;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">On this day in America...</h2>
 
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{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff8f2;"
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#ff4040;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #ff4040;text-align:left;color:#ffffff;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">George Eastman's featured picture</h2>
 
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
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Protected by the [[Help:Fair Use|Declaration of Independence]] and an elite clan of [[Clinja|Minutemen]]. [[God]] bless [[America]]!
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]

Revision as of 04:00, July 4, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia Americana,

30,664 articles in American

Constitution · Declaration of Independence · Liberty Bell · Bill of Rights · NATO · Support the US war effort

50 States · American Idols · Red, White & Blue

USA Today's Front Page Story

Today's Featured Article - Netflix

Mister Ed

Netflix is an Internet on-demand provider of viewable media, such as movies never shown in theaters; movies impossible to find on regular TV channels; and movies you wouldn't watch even if they were.

The profile of Netflix has been evolving constantly since its foundation in 1997. The company revolutionized the video market with the idea that undesired content could be recorded on DVD disks and sent to viewers by regular mail. After largely putting video stores out of business, it changed its emphasis to internet screaming and then to production of content, so as to even the score by putting itself out of business.

The seeds of the downfall of the traditional video store were planted during the U.S. Senate hearings on the elevation of Robert Bork to the Supreme Court. When his opponents obtained records that he had rented How the West Was Won, but never Debbie Does Dallas, Bork acquired an unshakable reputation for being out-of-fashion and his nomination failed. Although Congress raced to extend privacy protection to rental records that would later be extended to medical records, the public began avoiding video stores as it would go on to avoid hospitals.

In 1997, the founders of Netflix — internet maven Reed "Net" Hastings and a companion named Flicka — saw a way that the average American could obviate the video store entirely. The customer could order movies from the privacy of home, after simply putting his complete bank information and credit score on the internet. Videos would be sent to him using the very private U.S. Postal Service. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Irish Potato Famine

MrPotatoFamine

Nutrition labels are statements of nutritional value and ingredients on food items. But that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about the Irish Potato Famine, a period of mass starvation, disease and emigration that occurred in Ireland between 1845 and 1852. A disease affecting potatoes known as "potato blight" was ultimately to blame, but most chose, and some still do to this day, to believe the famine was part of a greater conspiracy to further worsen living conditions in Ireland by the United States in order to force Irish workers to come build the transcontinental railroad.

The famine killed over one million people and nearly imploded the Irish economy due to the Irish currency being backed by potatoes. Some historians disagree with me on this point by falsely claiming that Ireland was governed by the United Kingdom at the time and that Ireland had no regional currency. I contest this on the basis that I am right and they are plainly wrong.

So there Ireland was, just an island in Northwestern Europe, a stone's throw away from Britain. It was looking idly at the ongoings of Europe, which was already dealing with the potato blight but couldn't care much about it. France was too busy raping Hajis in Algeria so that Albert Camus could pen The Stranger a century later, and Spain was too busy repeatedly declaring war on itself. Irish officials felt that their island was safe from the blight because they had just filled the Irish Sea with alligators to ward off the periodontitis-laden imperialists from the other island. Despite these efforts, several potatoes which had already got some sick made their way to the isle. Conspiracy theorists claim that the alligator infested Irish Sea would've made a point of entry from the east impossible, and thus the sickly index case potatoes must have come from America. (more...)

Did y'all know...

*...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?

Dispatches from the Voice of America

Mikesam.jpg



Flag of USA

America, the beautiful


On this day in America...

10PM-GMT

09/02/2004 --- 10:33:14 PM - - - - - I no love you no more!.

September 2: Me Love You Long Time Day

  • 2004 10:32 PM GMT -- Me start to love you.
  • 2004 10:33 PM GMT -- Me stop lovin' you.
  • 2004 10:34 PM GMT -- Me say, "OK, maybe I no love long time after all."
  • 2005 10:35 AM GMT -- Me say, "I never really loved you to begin with."
  • 2008 12:69 PM GMT -- Children's entertainer and all round purple dinosaur, Barney, provoked into fight with a spanish tourtoise on live children's television. Barney's public statement read "I Love You. You Love Me...Ahh F**k It! That Stupid Green C**T Slept With My Wife!". Tortoise Talkative Eric later charged with being totally freaking awesome, and all round green reptilian.

George Eastman's featured picture

Helloapocalypse

"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Fair and balanced

Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session | New Jersey | Keynesianism (rw) | George R. R. Martin | Wat Tyler | Father Ted | Andorra | Town meeting | Mylène Farmer | Eclipse (rw) | Fringe | Millard Fillmore | Garter | Jared Leto (rw) | Counties of England | Bosnia and Herzegovina | Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe | Boko Haram (repl) | Khmer Rouge | Sexual physics


More recent articles | Most wanted outlaws | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Great American heroes

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


America's staunchest allies

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