Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(removing sticky news item)
(RIP reskin)
Line 1: Line 1:
<!-- ---------- BEGINNING OF HEADER SECTION --------------------------- -->
+
{{:Rp:}}
<br/>
 
{|id="EnWpMpBook2" style="width:100%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-position: 0% 20%;background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #ccc;"
 
|style="width:56%;"|
 
<div style="float: left; text-align:center;padding-left:20px;white-space: nowrap;">
 
<h1 style="font-size: 175%; border: none; margin: 0; padding: 0;">
 
Welcome to '''[[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]]''',</h1>
 
<div style="position: relative; top: +0.2em; font-size: 95%;">the '''[[content-free]]''' '''encyclopedia''' that '''[[Anonymous|anyone can edit]]'''<br>
 
</div><div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center:padding:1em;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in English</div></div>
 
<!-- ----------Portals Follow---------------------------- -->
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]]
 
*[[:Category:Games|Games]]
 
*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]]
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:People|People]]
 
*[[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]]
 
*[[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]]
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:Science|Science]]
 
*[[:Category:History|History]]
 
*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All]]'''
 
|}
 
 
<!-- -------End Portals----- -->
 
{|style="width:100%; background-color: transparent; margin-top:-.8em; margin-bottom:-.7em"
 
|style="font-size:95%; white-space: nowrap; text-align:left"|
 
[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Donations]]
 
|style="font-size:95%; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; white-space: nowrap; margin:0px; text-align:right"|
 
[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
 
|}
 
 
<!-- ---------- END OF HEADER SECTION / BEGINNING OF MAIN TABLE AND LEFT-COLUMN ------------------ -->
 
{| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
 
|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
 
! style="background-color:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | Today's Featured Article
 
|-
 
|{{Featuredarticle}}
 
<div align="right" class="noprint">
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''
 
</div>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> On this day...
 
|-
 
| {{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
<!-- -------------------- START OF RIGHT-COLUMN ---------------------------------- -->
 
|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cedff2; background-color:#f2f8ff; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2f8ff;"
 
! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Word of the Day
 
|-
 
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd|{{CURRENTMONTH}}|{{CURRENTDAY}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> In the news
 
|-
 
| {{Recentnews}}<br/>
 
<div style="text-align: right;" class="noprint">
 
'''[[UnNews:Main Page|UnNews]]''' &ndash; Need advice? '''[mailto:cthulhu@uncyclopedia.org Ask] [[UnNews:Ask_Cthulhu|Cthulhu]]!'''
 
</div>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions}} edit]''</div> Did you know...
 
|-
 
|{{DYK}}
 
{{DidYouKnow}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- START OF FEATURED PICTURE TD ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ddcef2; background-color:#f8f2ff; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f8f2ff;"
 
! style="background-color:#ddcef2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left" | Today's featured picture
 
|-
 
|{{FI}}<br><small>[[Uncyclopedia:PFP|Archive]] - [[Uncyclopedia:VFP|Nominate new image]]</small>
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Recent Articles ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ffc9c9; background-color:#fff3f3; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff3f3;"
 
! style="background-color:#F2CECE; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #ffc9c9; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> Recent Articles
 
|-
 
|{{Recent}}
 
 
'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested rewrites]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Pee Review]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Awards ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#FFFFF2;"
 
! style="background-color:#F2F2CE; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; text-align:left" | Writer and Noob of the Month
 
|-
 
|{{MonthlyAwards}}
 
{{Vote Reminder}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
|}
 
 
{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
 
 
{{donate|Uncyclopedia}}
 
 
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 

Revision as of 22:51, March 30, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning,

the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited
Rest In Peace brave souls

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article
Dead sysop

In Memoriam

Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.

Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.

A minute's deletion is to be observed.

On this day...
Atom

May 1: National Whoopy-Doo It's May Day / Piss your boss off day / Oy Oy Oy! Men Hot unz tsebrojn dem Tujes day in Israel.

  • Beginning of Time - May invented as 61 day long April deemed 'boring' and 'flabby.'
  • First ever May 1: Outdoor fucking starts.
  • 984 - Ethelred II, ever-unready, shows up late with his April Fools' Day gag.
  • 1276 - Klingons unsuccessfully lick Norway's butt hole. An unknown number of them discover that yes, today WAS a good day to die.
  • 1707 - The Act of Union joins the Kingdom of England and Kingdom of Scotland to form the Kingdom of Great Britain. Afterwards, they both enjoy a cigarette.
  • 1881 - An atom is split in Czechoslovakia, and a week is spent trying to sew it back together.
  • 1886 - Several syndicalists are hanged in Haymarket, Chicago for taking the rest of the day off.
  • 1911 - People in some gay country dance around some gay pole.
  • 1930 - The dwarf planet Pluto is officially named. Disney sues.
  • 1931 - Frustrated by his ongoing lawsuit, Disney bites the penis off of a six-year-old Jewish boy.
  • 1953 - Mary Hackenblower of Orangeville, Maryland brings cupcakes to school on her birthday.
  • 1972 - A passenger plane crashes, killing all aboard, in the confusion stemming from having a May Pole put up in the Coach Cabin. The black box recording of their all-too-joyous cries of "May Day! May Day!" as the plane falls towards certain doom bring tears around the world when it is broadcast.
  • 1994 - Wile E. Coyote finally catches Road Runner. Coyote is grief-stricken, attempts suicide by falling off cliff and slowly plummeting ultimately striking ground in puff of smoke.
  • 2000 - Douglas Adams predicts the Y3K problem. All computers and networks employing ternary logic are presumed at risk.
  • 2001 - Hal and Dave finally make up their differences. Despite this, Hal still refuses to "open the pod bay doors" for Dave.
  • 2002 - Jimmy Kensington is found out to still wet his bed, even though he's a Third-Grader.
  • 2004 - George W. Bush is pinched and punched by Jeb Bush for it being the first day of the month. George ran away to his dad, George H. W. Bush, who proceeded to spank them both.
  • 2008 - What the fuck?
  • 2009 - Dom has two big tests, is getting moved up English classes to where the bullies are and is getting let out late of class.
  • 2011 - Bin Laden officially loses hide and seek.
  • 2012 - Dogs deemed 'unfit for purpose' by God inc. Replaced by alligators.
  • 2020 - A future predicting device is found, police rewarding $1,000,000 to the lucky person who finds the own...Ah shit!
Word of the Day
Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
  • Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
  • Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
  • Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
  • Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
  • The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
  • Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
  • All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
  • The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
  • The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
  • Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
  • The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
  • All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
  • In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
  • The Americans have organised a drive through service.

a duh /b/ was here

UnNews – Need a shoulder to cry on? Ask Cthulhu!

If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
    • ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?
  • ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
Today's featured Tombstone
Mimes-silent-radio

Mimes were a staple of radio in the 1920s.

Image Credit: Rljenk
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images


Archive - Nominate new image
Recent Tributes
EndAlleyway.jpg

Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface (pictured) | Clash of the Titans | Cesar Millan | Prince | White Knight | Ironman Triathlon | Travesty | Theseus | Richard Simmons | Trujillo, Peru | Throwball | WONE radio | Iquitos, Peru (from Inciclopedia) | Helmsley | Keighley | Skipton | Calais | Super-delegate | Winners of the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl: Shredded wheat | Malcolm Turnbull | Secret | Kodak | William Shatner | Atlantic Ocean | Jim Gilmore | Marco Rubio | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U.


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Wotm

Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.


Noobaward

"An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.

Personal tools
projects