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Revision as of 22:51, March 30, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning,

the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited
Rest In Peace brave souls

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article
Dead sysop

In Memoriam

Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.

Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.

A minute's deletion is to be observed.

On this day...
This God person

September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God

  • Infinity B.C.E. - God is born.
  • 4000 B.C.E. - God receives the universe as a birthday present and breaks it six days later.
  • 3200 B.C.E - S'dhkai, a canaanite is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
  • 2500 K.F.C. - Israelites hold a birthday party for God, mistake him for a gold cow.
  • 0 - God has His first child... with hilarious results!
  • 1000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world, but cancels at the last minute.
  • 1609 - Gordon Edgeway and George Bennett are fused together in a nuclear fusion reaction; the resulting matter is named Gordon Bennett.
  • 1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins.
  • 1874 - The Drinking Binge of 1874 begins.
  • 1875 - The Mother of all Headaches begins.
  • 1997 - National referendum in Wales - an overwhelming majority (87.13%) vote yes on a motion to send out for pizza.
  • 1998 - Jenna Jameson beats off stiff competition to take an Oscar for her part in 7-Up.
  • 2000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world from Paris, but cancels at the last minute again. Rioting ensues.
  • 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha's bathroom.
Word of the Day
Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
  • Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
  • Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
  • Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
  • Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
  • The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
  • Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
  • All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
  • The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
  • The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
  • Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
  • The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
  • All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
  • In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
  • The Americans have organised a drive through service.

a duh /b/ was here

UnNews – Need a shoulder to cry on? Ask Cthulhu!

If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
Today's featured Tombstone
Pontius pilot

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image Credit: Savethemooses
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images


Archive - Nominate new image
Recent Tributes

Chess | Food (rw) | Please unblock me | My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection | Elizabeth Warren | Essex | Caliphate | Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session | New Jersey | Keynesianism (rw) | George R. R. Martin | Wat Tyler | Father Ted | Andorra | Town meeting | Mylène Farmer | Eclipse (rw) | Fringe | Millard Fillmore | Garter | Jared Leto (rw)


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Wotm

Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.


Noobaward

"An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


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