Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(removing sticky news item)
(RIP reskin)
Line 1: Line 1:
<!-- ---------- BEGINNING OF HEADER SECTION --------------------------- -->
+
{{:Rp:}}
<br/>
 
{|id="EnWpMpBook2" style="width:100%; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-position: 0% 20%;background-color: #ffffff; border: 1px solid #ccc;"
 
|style="width:56%;"|
 
<div style="float: left; text-align:center;padding-left:20px;white-space: nowrap;">
 
<h1 style="font-size: 175%; border: none; margin: 0; padding: 0;">
 
Welcome to '''[[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]]''',</h1>
 
<div style="position: relative; top: +0.2em; font-size: 95%;">the '''[[content-free]]''' '''encyclopedia''' that '''[[Anonymous|anyone can edit]]'''<br>
 
</div><div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center:padding:1em;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in English</div></div>
 
<!-- ----------Portals Follow---------------------------- -->
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]]
 
*[[:Category:Games|Games]]
 
*[[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]]
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:People|People]]
 
*[[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]]
 
*[[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]]
 
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
 
*[[:Category:Science|Science]]
 
*[[:Category:History|History]]
 
*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All]]'''
 
|}
 
 
<!-- -------End Portals----- -->
 
{|style="width:100%; background-color: transparent; margin-top:-.8em; margin-bottom:-.7em"
 
|style="font-size:95%; white-space: nowrap; text-align:left"|
 
[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Donations|Donations]]
 
|style="font-size:95%; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; white-space: nowrap; margin:0px; text-align:right"|
 
[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
 
|}
 
 
<!-- ---------- END OF HEADER SECTION / BEGINNING OF MAIN TABLE AND LEFT-COLUMN ------------------ -->
 
{| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
 
|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
 
! style="background-color:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | Today's Featured Article
 
|-
 
|{{Featuredarticle}}
 
<div align="right" class="noprint">
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''
 
</div>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> On this day...
 
|-
 
| {{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
<!-- -------------------- START OF RIGHT-COLUMN ---------------------------------- -->
 
|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cedff2; background-color:#f2f8ff; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2f8ff;"
 
! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Word of the Day
 
|-
 
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[{{wotd|{{CURRENTMONTH}}|{{CURRENTDAY}}}}]]</span><br />''Try to use it in conversation.<br>Knowledge is power.''</center>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> In the news
 
|-
 
| {{Recentnews}}<br/>
 
<div style="text-align: right;" class="noprint">
 
'''[[UnNews:Main Page|UnNews]]''' &ndash; Need advice? '''[mailto:cthulhu@uncyclopedia.org Ask] [[UnNews:Ask_Cthulhu|Cthulhu]]!'''
 
</div>
 
|-
 
! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions}} edit]''</div> Did you know...
 
|-
 
|{{DYK}}
 
{{DidYouKnow}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- START OF FEATURED PICTURE TD ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ddcef2; background-color:#f8f2ff; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f8f2ff;"
 
! style="background-color:#ddcef2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left" | Today's featured picture
 
|-
 
|{{FI}}<br><small>[[Uncyclopedia:PFP|Archive]] - [[Uncyclopedia:VFP|Nominate new image]]</small>
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Recent Articles ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ffc9c9; background-color:#fff3f3; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff3f3;"
 
! style="background-color:#F2CECE; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #ffc9c9; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> Recent Articles
 
|-
 
|{{Recent}}
 
 
'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested rewrites]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Pee Review]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
 
|-
 
|}
 
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Awards ------------------------------ -->
 
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;"|
 
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#FFFFF2;"
 
! style="background-color:#F2F2CE; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; text-align:left" | Writer and Noob of the Month
 
|-
 
|{{MonthlyAwards}}
 
{{Vote Reminder}}
 
|-
 
|}
 
|}
 
 
{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
 
 
{{donate|Uncyclopedia}}
 
 
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 

Revision as of 22:51, March 30, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning,

the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited
Rest In Peace brave souls

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article
Dead sysop

In Memoriam

Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.

Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.

A minute's deletion is to be observed.

On this day...
March 28: International hit sombody in the head with a brick day (Turkey)
  • 330 - Once Istanbul was Constantinople.
  • 1056 - In escalating crisis, Islamics behead 500 Christians.
  • 1057 - Not to be outdone, Christians behead 501 Muslims.
  • 1630 - (aside: Old New York was at this point New Amsterdam...why they changed it, I can't say--people just liked it better that way.)
  • 1923 - Modern day country of Turkey formed, people wonder at why it is named after a fat bird you eat for a holiday
  • 1930 - Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
  • 1939 - Hitler freaks out, and the German people just liked it better that way.
  • 1990 - Been a long time gone, Constantinople, now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night.
  • 2006 - Every gal in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople, so if you've a date in Constantinople she'll be waiting in Istanbul.
Word of the Day
Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
  • Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
  • Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
  • Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
  • Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
  • The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
  • Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
  • All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
  • The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
  • The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
  • Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
  • The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
  • All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
  • In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
  • The Americans have organised a drive through service.

a duh /b/ was here

UnNews – Need a shoulder to cry on? Ask Cthulhu!

If anyone cares on a day like today...
*...that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
Today's featured Tombstone
Lance brick

When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.

Image Credit: Sunsneezer
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images


Archive - Nominate new image
Recent Tributes

Turtle | Pyramid scheme | Joseph Kony | Metroid (species) | Project Gemini | Liberal Party of Australia (rw) | Hand of God | Speed Racer (rw) | Temporal paradox (rw) | UnBooks:Suffer the Little Children | She Blinded Me with Science | New meat from the writing competition: Supply-side Jesus | NBC | ENIAC | Raphael | Horace | Renewable energy | One Thousand and One Nights | Rembrandt | Relationships (images) | Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Wotm

Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself.


Noobaward

"An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006 You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!


Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.

Personal tools
projects