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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</h1>
 
<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</h1>
 
<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]]</div>
 
<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]]</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{formatnum:{{#expr:{{NUMBEROFARTICLES:R}}*450003}}}}]] articles in English</div>
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<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{formatnum:{{#expr:{{NUMBEROFARTICLES:R}}*450003}}}}]] deleted articles in English</div>
 
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Revision as of 15:53, March 30, 2008

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit
14,090,043,933 deleted articles in English

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The Uncyclomedia Foundation is celebrating the ten billionth deleted Uncyclopedia article, written in Cockney Rhyming Slang about the ten billionth article on Uncyclopedia.

Today's Featured Article - HowTo:Drive your car out of a lake

ScubaCar01

Parking your car in a lake is easy. Maybe you’ve left your car in neutral on a steep embankment next to a lake and gravity did the parking for you. You may have mistaken the lake for a rippling parking lot filled with cresting wave-like shopping carts. Or you parked your car in a ditch at the start of monsoon season and the lake sprang up around it. Regardless, the easy part is over. Now you face the more difficult challenge – getting the car back out of the lake. You could hire a tow truck to drive in after it, but that is a costly business. Similarly, a crane could be employed to retrieve your vehicle, provided it has ample bill length and unnatural avian strength. Or you could just drive your car out of the lake. Really, it’s the only rational choice.

To find your car, swim directly into the lake. If the car is floating it will be easy to spot, although some turtles may be mistaken for a floating car. If you find a turtle -- keep searching, as this is not your car but a reptilian imposter. If the car is sunken, the process for locating it is trickier. Sunken cars require scuba gear, a metal detector and, if the lake is dark, a strong flashlight. Now plumb the lake’s depths to locate your missing vehicle. If the metal detector or flashlight stop working, check the batteries.

Once you’ve found your car, you must get inside. If the car is floating, the act of getting inside may cause it to sink. This is a good thing, as you need the car to be at the bottom of the lake in order to drive it. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Tales of an Emo, featured on 13 February 2012. See the featured version.
Elephant, featured on 13 February 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
    • ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
    • ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
    • ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
    • ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?

In the news

On this day...

February 13: Simple English for Republicans Day

Featured picture

CheckpointCharlieSign

Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it.

Image Credit: ScottPat
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Marco Rubio sip.jpg

Marco Rubio (pictured) | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U. | HowTo:Survive a terrorist attack | Pornography (rw) | Mesopotamia (rw) | Kilogram | Missing socks | The Communist Manifesto | Community | Teen Titans Go! | State of the Union address (rw) | Catching Fire | National Fascist Party (from Inciclopedia) | Chris Christie | HowTo:Dine at a fancy restaurant | Eragon | Swearing (rw) | Miranda warning | Sam Harris | Northumberland | Edmund Hillary | Theater pest | Mad Max: Fury Road | Carly Fiorina | Normal distribution | Slavs | Tax (rw)


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
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The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
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Where noisy things can live and prosper
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Another way to waste time
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Instructions and guides for anything and everything
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Content-free books
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If it makes sense, we don't want it
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Debating all the irrelevant issues
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We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
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We'll tell you why things suck
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Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,311 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
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5720
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Hikipedia
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7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

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