Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(centralizing the various ways to get on IRC)
(Uncyc Alpha Day, for real this time)
Line 1: Line 1:
<table width="100%">
+
{{:Tlh:}}
<tr><td>
 
<div align="center"><p style="margin: 2.5em 0 0 3%; text-align: center;
 
font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</p><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p><br />
 
Before editing, please read the '''''[[Beginner's Guide]]''''' and browse '''''[[Help:Contents|the Big Five]].'''''<br />
 
{{Dotw{{CURRENTDAYNAME}}}} <!-- Rotating daily announcement thing. Saturday = day that Colonizations are pimped, hopefully this is not too annoying for the front page. See Template:DotwSaturday for example. -->
 
 
<font size="-3"><br /></font>
 
<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> '''[[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]'''</p>
 
<!--''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Browse Uncyclopedia]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Browse by overview|Article overviews]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Quick index|Alphabetical index]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Category schemes|Other category schemes]]''--><br /></div>
 
</td><td>{{featuredimage}}</td></tr></table>
 
{| cellspacing="3" style="clear:both"
 
|-valign="top"
 
|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Article</h3>
 
{{Featuredarticle}}
 
 
You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
 
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best of Uncyclopedia]]'''
 
----
 
<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
 
{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
 
</div>
 
|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
 
{{Recentnews}}
 
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:UnNews|More Current Events at UnNews News]]'''
 
----
 
<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
 
{{DidYouKnow}}
 
 
'''[[Did You Know|Read More]]'''
 
</div>
 
|-
 
| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #f3fff3"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Recent articles</h3>
 
{{Recent}}
 
 
'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested rewrites]]''' |
 
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
 
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Pee Review]]''' |
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
 
 
</div>
 
|-
 
| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer and Noob of the Month</h3>
 
{{MonthlyAwards}}
 
</div>
 
|}
 
 
{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
 
 
{{donate|Uncyclopedia}}
 
 
For nonsense related IRC chat, see [[Uncyclopedia:Chat|This instructional video]].
 
 
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 

Revision as of 06:00, November 22, 2005

Welcome to Trekkieopedia Trekkeropedia Trekkieopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that Boldly Goes where no-one has edited before.

Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 30,690 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


Before editing, please read the Prime Directive and browse The Federation Constitution.

Happy Birthday Memory Alpha!

Politics | Games | Computers | People | Still Dressing up at 45 | Coherent
Most Geeky | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...


Sharks

Sharks with freaking laser-beams.
Vote for featured image

Featured Pages Article of the Week
Did you know...


Latest Episodes

Banh Shop | Worst bumper stickers | Firesheep | Lava lamp | Ebola | Brick (rw) | Chess | Food (rw) | Please unblock me | My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection | Elizabeth Warren | Essex | Caliphate | Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session | New Jersey | Keynesianism (rw) | George R. R. Martin | Wat Tyler | Father Ted | Andorra


edit
Selected anniversaries</br />

Oday

October 2: Orgasm Day

  • 1835 - The Texas Revolution begins where the Mexican soldiers attempt to disarm the people of Gonzales, Texas to stop them reaching orgasm, but encounter stiff resistance from a hastily assembled pornography stockpile.
  • 1870 - The Great Tomato War begins
  • 1876 - Six women are killed in test of first steam-powered vibrator. It's inventor, Havelock Schtumpf, is never seen again.
  • 1889 - In Colorado, Nicholas Creede strikes it rich during the last great orgasm boom of the American old west.
  • 1919 - US President Woodrow Wilson reaches orgasm and suffers a massive stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed.
  • 1924 - The Geneva Protocol is adopted as a means to strengthen the length of male orgasm.
  • 1949 - 500,000 male steel workers win improved retirement benefits, orgasms.
  • 1956 - The beginning of the great orgasm shortage.
  • 1966 - The orgasm shortage ends, around 2 billion people all orgasm at the same time, vibrating the earth closer to the sun by around 500 miles. Scientists predict a slow and steady increase in global temperature.
  • 1985 - I invent the orgasm. Repeatedly. With your mom.
  • 1986 - Your Mum jokes get old. Again.
  • 1995 - Someone in Paris orgasms. Rioting ensues.
  • 1996 - Furbies debut, eating the souls of the overpriveledged.
  • 2013 - Chuck Norris orgasms, man is wiped out.

Archived Anniversaries

Unwritten Topics
Template:Unwrittentopics

Today's Featured Article - The Doctor is IN

The doctor is in

The twin colossi of Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, were two of a kind; bearded nineteenth century, middle European poop-obsessives. It is no surprise, therefore, that for many the standard image of the psychoanalyst is of a heavily accented pervert who assumes his own deviant sexual interest in his mother is universal. Had Jung and Freud been the only model of the Psychoanalyst it seems unlikely that the profession would ever have gained the high esteem that it holds today in modern USA. For that a more approachable, more wholesome, more American Psychoanalyst would be required. But who could fill the role?

Until the early 1900’s the only advice available to those several shots short of a piss-up was to pull themselves together and not make a scene (still the standard prescription for British sufferers of scrambled synapse syndrome). Following the publication of Freud’s masterpiece “Ihre Mutter” (Your Mom), however, the nation was awash with professionals expensively inviting you to blame yourself for your problems and to enrol yourself on a thirty month course of “talking therapy”. Who but the wealthy could afford bad advice at $100 an hour? The profession seemed about to founder when the late 1950s saw the arrival of Doctor Lucille Van Pelt, dispenser of bad advice for a mere five cents a session.

Despite a lack of formal qualifications beyond Grade School within years Van Pelt had diagnosed the mental issues of her fellow Peanuts co-stars and realised the pain behind the smiles of so many others who are paid to entertain us in the burgeoning cartoon industry. The Doctor was IN. (more...)

Recently featured: The Doctor is IN - Bluestocking

Yesterday's Featured Article - Bluestocking

Bluestocking01

The Bluestockings were a group of lesbians from the 18th century with foot fetishes who had a discreet code for recognising each other—wearing blue stockings—hence their society's title. Just like many other societies of the modern era, the group had certain criteria that were to be checked for and met during the prospective bluestocking's initiation ceremony: a prestigious education, literacy, a state of good birth, a substantial lot of money and some measure of political influence were always considered by the madams who admit new members, but these were not nearly as important as the possession of a vagina dentata, at least 10cm² of pubic hair, a sworn hatred of her husband, an apartment large enough to have an orgy in and a pair of blue stockings.

The founding of the society by "Queen of the Blues" Bessie Smith in 1748 was said to be a woman's answer to the ever-growing popularity of the Gentleman's Club, where respectable homosexual gentlemen would frolic and read newspapers. Other than doing dominatrix-related antics, the ladies would read the classics such as Virgil or Homer, discuss politics (local issues such as refuse collection lapses or corruption within the ranks of refuse collectors), and lament upon how awful Edward Gibbon was in the sack. (more...)

In the news


Flirt au Bord de la Mer.jpg




Sista projects

UnNews Eye Logo notext
UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Pencil2
Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Oscar
The Wilde Project
Bringing Oscar Wilde quotes to every page in Uncyclopedia.

Our five-day mission: to explore strange new articles
Showcase newsletter Biography

____________

Geog1 Geography

____________

Paperclip Mundane Object

____________

History History

____________

Phrenology Science

____________


Languages

Wilde · Blog · 中文 · Deutsch · Français · English · Simple · Español · Lietuvių · Eesti · Nederlands · Русский ·Suisse · Polski · Português · 1337 · Multilingual

Desencyclopedie
Desencyclopedie
Français
Uncyclopedia.de
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Nonsensopedia
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Nonciclopedia
Nonciclopedia
Italiano

Start an Uncyclopedia in a new language


If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For nonsense related IRC chat, see This instructional video.

Protected by Starfleet, and an elite clan of Red Shirtss.

Main Page

Personal tools
projects