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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]].</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p>
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''Before editing, please read the [[Help:HowTo|writing guidelines]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
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'''Welcome to the Swiss [[Uncyclopedia]]''', the [[neutral]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]] but only if they have sufficient funds.
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<p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has opened [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] numbered bank accounts since opening in January 2005.<br>
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''Before editing, please read the [[Help:HowTo|War Profit Investment guidelines]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|neutrality manual]].''</p>
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<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 80%;">[[:Category:Sex|Sex]] | [[:Category:Games|War]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Bank Vault Technology]] | [[:Category:People|Reservists]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Female Emancipation]] | [[:Category:Coherent|4 Offical Languages]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Wealthy]] | [[Special:Allpages|Numerical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Not Money, Choclate or Cucckoo Clocks...]]</p>
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</td><td>[[Image:Swiss army knife open 20050612.jpg|thumb|280px|Respect my Neutralitah!]]</td></tr>
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<td>[[Image:Latte Art Nike.jpg|thumb|280px|I'm Rich Bitch!]]</td></tr>
   
<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]</p> </h5>
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* Bienvenue à [[fr:|l'Uncyclopédia suisse]], l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. [[Sophia]] a établi [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les [[Help:HowTo|directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre]] et le [[Flamewar Guidelines|manuel de neutralité]]!
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* Willkommen an [[de:|Uncyclopedia Schweizer]], sorgt die neutrale Enzyklopädie dafür gänzlich von Käse, daß jeder veröffentlichen kann, wenn sie ausreichende Fonds haben. [[Sophia]] hat [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] Bankkonten eröffnet, die seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 numeriert wurden. Vor der Ausgabe lesen die Richtlinien der [[Help:HowTo|Investition von Kriegsgewinn]] und das [[Flamewar Guidelines|Neutralitätshandbuch]]!
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* Benvenuto al [[it:|Uncyclopedia svizzero]], l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. [[Sophia]] ha aperto [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di [[Help:HowTo|investimento di profitto di guerra]] ed il [[Flamewar Guidelines|manuale di neutralità]].
   
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Account</h3>
 
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured.
   
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Obviously you didn't know...</h3>
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For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
 
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
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For neutrality related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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Protected by a [[Help:Fair Use|Half Million Man Army]], and their [[Special:listadmins|knives]].

Revision as of 23:42, July 31, 2005

 
   

Welcome to the Swiss Uncyclopedia, the neutral encyclopedia that anyone can edit but only if they have sufficient funds.

   
 

Sophia has opened 30,828 numbered bank accounts since opening in January 2005.
Before editing, please read the War Profit Investment guidelines and neutrality manual.

 
   

Sex | War | Bank Vault Technology | Reservists | Female Emancipation | 4 Offical Languages
Most Wealthy | Numerical Index | Not Money, Choclate or Cucckoo Clocks...

   
 
Swiss army knife open 20050612

Respect my Neutralitah!

Latte Art Nike

I'm Rich Bitch!

  • Willkommen an, sorgt die neutrale Enzyklopädie dafür gänzlich von Käse, daß jeder veröffentlichen kann, wenn sie ausreichende Fonds haben. Sophia hat 30,828 Bankkonten eröffnet, die seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 numeriert wurden. Vor der Ausgabe lesen die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
  • Benvenuto al, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 30,828 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.

Today's Featured Account

Today's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)

Recently featured: Power

Yesterday's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?

Not much!

That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power?

Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.

I'd love to hear more about power!

Of course you would! (more...)

You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia


Selected anniversaries

January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day

American-crocodile-emerging-water

Archived Anniversaries

Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.


Hibachi in Snow.jpg



More Things to Avoid Getting Involved With


Obviously you didn't know...

From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:

  • ...that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?


If you care about the rest of the world...

Writer of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



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