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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]].</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3"><h1>My Readie-Thingie</h1>Welcome [[Americans]]!!! This is the fun, exciting [[Uncyclopedia|easy-read]] place on your computer. You can [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|read]] '''your''' collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets [[Help:HowTo|magically]] edited '''just for you!!!''' Don't be shy - it's [[content-free]]!!!</p><br><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has made us work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles '''just for you!!!'''.</p>
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''Because your so smart, and because this is '''on you're computer''', you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about [[Help:HowTo|learning to speel]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|dealing with the gnomes in your computer]].<br>''
   
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<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Great Leaders]] | [[:Category:Games|things to play with]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|things to play with that beep]] | [[:Category:People|other People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|silly]] | [[:Category:Coherent|long words]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Favourite]] | [[Special:Allpages|words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus)]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other scary things...]]</p> </h5>
   
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</td><td>[[Image:WeStandAsOne.jpg|thumb|280px|[[United States of America|Land of the free!]] <br> [[George W. Bush|Home of the brave!]]]]</td></tr></table>
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More favoriteist things from show and tell]]'''
 
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{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|What happend long ago other days]]'''
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
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'''[[Current events|What things are happening]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
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''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer of the Month</h3>
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For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to[irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinjas]].
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an [[special]] clan of [[Clinjas|funny peolple in Jim-Jams]].

Revision as of 15:06, July 4, 2005

My Readie-Thingie

Welcome Americans!!! This is the fun, exciting easy-read place on your computer. You can read your collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets magically edited just for you!!! Don't be shy - it's content-free!!!



Sophia has made us work on 30,914 articles just for you!!!.

Because your so smart, and because this is on you're computer, you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about learning to speel and dealing with the gnomes in your computer.

Browse:

Great Leaders | things to play with | things to play with that beep | other People | silly | long words
Most Favourite | words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus) | Other scary things...



WeStandAsOne

Land of the free!
Home of the brave!

Today's show and tell

Today's Featured Article - NBC

NBC 2014

NBC is an American television corporation. During television's "golden age," NBC was a big member of the "Big Three," which tirelessly presented the same content as its two rivals.

In the modern era, NBC has split into dozens of niche channels and projects, which swim in every American's video bloodstream like an antibody looking for an infectious idea to latch onto and destroy.

NBC was begun by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), eventually to stand proudly alongside CBS and ABC. This was the reassuring 20th Century, in which everything big had a three-letter abbreviation. There was no torture of terrorists but merely DOD, and RET to the ROK, and welfare was simply HUD and HEW, and even spoke English without an African American accent, LOL. It was a nation where Grandpa still had decades left before discovering that permanent foreign involvement and the welfare state didn't work — and even after he did, he would keep getting checks in the mail from the SSA.

RCA had acquired two radio stations, WJZ in Newark and WEAF in New York City. RCA was perturbed that WEAF had more than three letters, and no less perturbed that no one could listen to both stations at the same time (as people had at most one radio).

At the time, no one wanted to listen to even one radio station, and they did so only because the only alternative was going outdoors and listening to sirens and gunshots. The scientists of the day were experimenting with using radio to send pictures as well as sounds, and RCA management was experimenting with running two businesses without two staffs. "We are starting a network" became a more pleasing posture than, "We are firing all the employees and keeping their pay."(more...)

Recently featured: NBC - Raphael

Yesterday's Featured Article - Raphael

Raphael-3

Raphael (1483-1520), he of the sickly smiling Madonna and Child paintings, the School of Athens fresco at the Vatican and the Galatea slap-on work, hasn't aged so well as regards his artistic reputation. No one cites him as an influence except the purveyors of the chocolate box school of artists whose work can often be found staring down at you from Catholic Church cathedrals. Raphael lived well and died in his late 30s, just before he would have lost his hair and developed a paunch.

Raphael became exceedingly filthy rich, successful and the toast of Renaissance Rome. He must have been insufferable to all those who crossed his path: Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo could rare agree on anything but both hated the 'boy' with intense passion, especially Michelangelo who was rumoured to have been turned down for a bit of man-on-man action with the young pretender when they both worked on the Sistine Chapel. He could have become a saint except in the manner of his death - a heart attack after some rigorous in-studio rogering of his favourite mistress Margherita Luti.

Born Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino, 'Raphe' grew up with angelic kiss-me-quick hair curls and a smile that got him a lot of work - and clients amongst the cassock lifters in the Roman Catholic Church. These were the days before Martin Luther's banging rude jokes on church doors and at time when the Papacy was in a full, florid corruption that so angered the sober sided Christians that they would later smash up churches in the manner of Gaiseric the Vandal a thousand years earlier.

Blessed with Italian pretty boy genes and a smeary palette, Raphael soon showed he knew how to get work. This essentially meant from two sources: The Catholic Church or rich italians who wanted to boast of their achievements and attractions with portraits. Others wanted suitable cultural pagan myths illustrated for bedroom stimulation. In reply, Raphael just gave them a lot of Madonnas with Jesus sitting pretty on her lap. (more...)

You can put your mark for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.

More favoriteist things from show and tell


What happend long ago today

Boobs

March 30: National Cleavage Day (UK)

What happend long ago other days

Things that the nice man on the telly next to the pretty lady are telling you (betwen adverts)


StrictlyCameron.jpg



What things are happening


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's mommies and daddies:

  • ...that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?


find out more

Monkey of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



stuff we want to see in show and tell | Too many long words! | Make more shitty un-funny one liners | pages that have the lurgy and no other pages will sit next to | Please tell me a story about...

A Loooooong list of other groups of things about stuff · learn all about speaking funny · If you speak funny (not American) then GO HOME!


To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to#uncyclopedia @ FreeNode.

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