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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]].</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3"><h1>My Readie-Thingie</h1>Welcome [[Americans]]!!! This is the fun, exciting [[Uncyclopedia|easy-read]] place on your computer. You can [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|read]] '''your''' collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets [[Help:HowTo|magically]] edited '''just for you!!!''' Don't be shy - it's [[content-free]]!!!</p><br><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has made us work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles '''just for you!!!'''.</p>
''Before editing, please read the [[Help:HowTo|writing guidelines]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
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''Because your so smart, and because this is '''on you're computer''', you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about [[Help:HowTo|learning to speel]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|dealing with the gnomes in your computer]].<br>''
   
<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]</p> </h5>
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<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Great Leaders]] | [[:Category:Games|things to play with]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|things to play with that beep]] | [[:Category:People|other People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|silly]] | [[:Category:Coherent|long words]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Favourite]] | [[Special:Allpages|words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus)]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other scary things...]]</p> </h5>
   
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</td><td>[[Image:WeStandAsOne.jpg|thumb|280px|[[United States of America|Land of the free!]] <br> [[George W. Bush|Home of the brave!]]]]</td></tr></table>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's show and tell</h3>
 
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|put your mark]] for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.
   
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More favoriteist things from show and tell]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What happend long ago today</h3>
 
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|What happend long ago other days]]'''
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
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'''[[Current events|What things are happening]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer of the Month</h3>
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{{Simple Languages}}
For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to[irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinjas]].
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an [[special]] clan of [[Clinjas|funny peolple in Jim-Jams]].

Revision as of 15:06, July 4, 2005

My Readie-Thingie

Welcome Americans!!! This is the fun, exciting easy-read place on your computer. You can read your collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets magically edited just for you!!! Don't be shy - it's content-free!!!



Sophia has made us work on 30,621 articles just for you!!!.

Because your so smart, and because this is on you're computer, you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about learning to speel and dealing with the gnomes in your computer.

Browse:

Great Leaders | things to play with | things to play with that beep | other People | silly | long words
Most Favourite | words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus) | Other scary things...



WeStandAsOne

Land of the free!
Home of the brave!

Today's show and tell

Today's Featured Article - UnScripts:Oedipus Rex Rides Again

OedipusKing2

Oedipus Rex Rides Again is a classical masterpiece that has inspired little discussion amongst those normally interested in such works. Written by Sophocles' sister, Sophoclesis, in 300 BC or shortly thereafter, the play has always been included in any remarkable library - yet strangely avoided. Since Uncyclopedia avoids nothing, the time has come to bring this magnificent piece of our cultural heritage to light.

Classical literature (as everyone knows) was born from a screaming need (circa 500 BC). Authors of the period simply had to write something, anything at all. They didn't bother with complicated plots or many-faceted characters. The main thing was to get literature going, and so they created a plethora of one-track-minded heroes hell-bent on destroying whatever happened to annoy them even slightly. Arguably, the Iliad, the Odyssey, and the Holy Bible are the best examples of classical literature to have survived the storms of the ages, the burning of libraries, the rampage of the Vandals, and other calamities the Fates so nonchalantly dealt our way.

To survive through centuries, a text has to be valid in any era. A good example is the chapters in the Bible that describe the building of a prayer tent. Another equally valuable piece of wisdom are the words Achilles aims at his friend Polycarbon: "Go to the mount Ida and seek the hermit living there, o friend, and ask him to gather parsley, sticks of sycamore, and a tusk of a wild boar, not older than five years, not younger than six. Tell him to mix these ingredients in a large cauldron and piss onto them. Let the dogs not drink the potion but store it in a dry, cool place." (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Real Ale

Fatd01

Ahh..Real Ale. It's been the favourite tipple of the working man and anyone else who enjoys a refreshing, healthy drink that's full of flavour and goodness ever since it was invented by the Ancient Egyptians more than 6,000 years ago. Back in the days of the Pharaohs Real Ale was brewed from a mixture of sand, crushed dead beetles and cat's urine - the recipe has changed since then, of course - but not much!...Real Ale has the same delicious taste that has made it the most popular drink in the world ever since.

Real Ale forms part of the culture in many beer-drinking nations and has acquired various social traditions and associations, such as beer festivals and a rich pub culture involving activities such as pub crawling and pub games such as bar billiards and fighting.

The term Real Ale was invented during the 1970s when an organisation was created with the aims of protecting Britain's time-honoured tradition of brewing and drinking the types of beer henceforth known as Real Ale - since the late 1950s, people had increasingly been turning their backs on Real Ale and instead drinking much more unreal ale, which is also called nothing, and worst of all lager which has no flavour and is only suitable for homosexuals and girls. To be classified as a Real Ale, a beer must be "brewed from traditional ingredients, matured by secondary fermentation in the container from which it is dispensed." Like Germany's Rheinheitsgebot beer purity law, this can be seen as quite restrictive - however, anybody who knows anything about the history of beer can tell you that, over the millennia, it has been brewed from all sorts of things. In addition to common ingredients such as wheat and barley, beer has also been made at various times from wood, pine martins, pebbles, toad's breath, cheese and old car tyres; so just about anything can be considered a 'traditional' ingredient...(more...)

You can put your mark for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.

More favoriteist things from show and tell


What happend long ago today

HMUDeclaration

Jülÿ 29: Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt Däÿ

What happend long ago other days

Things that the nice man on the telly next to the pretty lady are telling you (betwen adverts)





What things are happening


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's mommies and daddies:

  • ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?


find out more

Monkey of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



stuff we want to see in show and tell | Too many long words! | Make more shitty un-funny one liners | pages that have the lurgy and no other pages will sit next to | Please tell me a story about...

A Loooooong list of other groups of things about stuff · learn all about speaking funny · If you speak funny (not American) then GO HOME!


To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to#uncyclopedia @ FreeNode.

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