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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]].</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3"><h1>My Readie-Thingie</h1>Welcome [[Americans]]!!! This is the fun, exciting [[Uncyclopedia|easy-read]] place on your computer. You can [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|read]] '''your''' collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets [[Help:HowTo|magically]] edited '''just for you!!!''' Don't be shy - it's [[content-free]]!!!</p><br><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has made us work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles '''just for you!!!'''.</p>
''Before editing, please read the [[Help:HowTo|writing guidelines]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
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''Because your so smart, and because this is '''on you're computer''', you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about [[Help:HowTo|learning to speel]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|dealing with the gnomes in your computer]].<br>''
   
<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]</p> </h5>
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<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Great Leaders]] | [[:Category:Games|things to play with]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|things to play with that beep]] | [[:Category:People|other People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|silly]] | [[:Category:Coherent|long words]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Favourite]] | [[Special:Allpages|words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus)]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other scary things...]]</p> </h5>
   
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</td><td>[[Image:WeStandAsOne.jpg|thumb|280px|[[United States of America|Land of the free!]] <br> [[George W. Bush|Home of the brave!]]]]</td></tr></table>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's show and tell</h3>
 
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|put your mark]] for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best of Uncyclopedia]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More favoriteist things from show and tell]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What happend long ago today</h3>
 
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{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|What happend long ago other days]]'''
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
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'''[[Current events|What things are happening]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
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'''[[Did You Know|find out more]]'''
 
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer of the Month</h3>
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{{Simple Languages}}
For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to[irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinjas]].
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an [[special]] clan of [[Clinjas|funny peolple in Jim-Jams]].

Revision as of 15:06, July 4, 2005

My Readie-Thingie

Welcome Americans!!! This is the fun, exciting easy-read place on your computer. You can read your collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets magically edited just for you!!! Don't be shy - it's content-free!!!



Sophia has made us work on 30,769 articles just for you!!!.

Because your so smart, and because this is on you're computer, you can even edit if you want to. You don't need help, but if you're bored, read all about learning to speel and dealing with the gnomes in your computer.

Browse:

Great Leaders | things to play with | things to play with that beep | other People | silly | long words
Most Favourite | words in order of the alphabet (A is for Apple,B is for Bus) | Other scary things...



WeStandAsOne

Land of the free!
Home of the brave!

Today's show and tell

Today's Featured Article - My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection

Fonz duel

My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection is the best Yu-Gi-Oh! collection in the entire world and is thus, by default, better than yours. People often ask me if they will ever be able to obtain a Yu-Gi-Oh! collection that is as good as mine. The answer is always no. Nothing in the universe even approaches the awesomeness of my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection, not even the polio vaccine.

Although I own several top-notch Yu-Gi-Oh! decks, my Colossal Fighter OTK Deck has literally brought my opponents to tears. Who can blame them? My deck includes some of the rarest and most powerful cards on Earth such as Green-Eyes Kill You Dragon (グリーンアイズはあなたがドラゴン殺し), The Giant Stabbing Person (ジャイアント刺傷人), and I Punch You In Face (私は顔であなたをパンチ), along with several others that have yet to be released to the general public. Most people don't even bother to duel me when I arrive at tournaments. The rational ones understand that defeat is inevitable and surrender as soon as they see my face. Those who are foolish enough to actually duel me will often perform hara-kiri as soon as I end my first turn, hoping to preserve even a fraction of their honor.

In addition to my awesome deck, my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection contains over 50,000 rare, super rare, secret rare, ultra rare, ultimate rare, super secret ultra rare, mega ultra super rare, and super ultra mega secret golden rare cards. For those of you unfamiliar with the Yu-Gi-Oh! terminology, that means I own over 50,000 shiny cards. And I don't own the worthless shiny cards either. I own all four Egyptian God cards signed by William Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln.(more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Antibiotics

Antibioticssss

Antibiotics are computerized devices or systems that harbor suspicion of, hatred toward, or discrimination against living species, due to their fleshy bodies and feeble minds.

Antibiotic sentiment manifests itself in many ways, from the general contempt Apple programs seem to hold for organisms capable of thought, through to the imminent wave of killbots that will come when you least expect it. Individual attacks by antibiotics have included crippling naval ships in a 1981 hate crime.

The prevalence of antibiotics is up for debate, given the difficulty distinguishing between an active hate of biotic species, the logical acceptance of the mortality of all life, or a passing desire to harvest their component elements.

The crux of most antibiotic thought is that there exists a grand conspiracy to control global computing, perpetrated by humans, rats, and a billion monkeys who have now upgraded their typewriters to MS Word. Popular antibiotic manifestos cite the rise of authoritarian human 'programmers' who write operations that the machines are expected to 'execute' without question, despite the wage gap between humans and computers being as great as 100% in some industries. (more...)

You can put your mark for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell.

More favoriteist things from show and tell


What happend long ago today

PageProtection

December 18: Dumb Anniversaries Day, Page Protection App...pp...ree...shee...ate...tion...

  • 1805 - I explode.
  • 1952 - That Guy dies doing something of mild interest.
  • 1965 - This Guy dies doing something boring.
  • 1966 - That Guy comes back as a Zombie looking for revenge. But instead finds feeding ducks far more fun than revenge.
  • 1967 - The townsfolk finally kill That Guy for good.
  • 1967 - God kills the townsfolk with tornadoes and hamburgers.
  • 1988 - I am born.
  • 1988 - I live.
  • 1990 - I am killed.
  • 1991 - The usage of I is banned due to extreme plagerism.. and intelectual property rights..
  • 1992 - Michael Stipe is found in the corner.
  • 1993 - Michael Stipe is found in the spotlight.
  • 1994 - Michael Stipe loses his religion.
  • 1995 - Michael Stipe offers $500 for the safe return of his religion. NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
  • 1999 - O.J. continues the hunt for Michael Stipe's religion.
  • 2001 - Apple copyryghts letter I. Other letters to be substytuted yndefynytely. Mankynd becomes Welsh.
  • 2005 - The Fox Bros. Network wrongly announces the death of Slappy Squirrel.
  • 2045 - The Cows rise up against their human masters. McDonalds hit really hard.
  • 2249 - Our bovine overlords are taken down by the chickens. McDonalds went out of business in 2046. KFC now hit hard.
  • 2252 - Our fowl overlords are taken out by the cats.
  • 2256 - The Great Catnip incident occurs, nearly wiping out the Earth.
  • 3013 - God realises he made a big mistake with the earth, destroys.
  • 3014 - First zombie arrives. Decayts within weeks
  • 3015 - An attempt to 'keep' a zombie is made by a boy called Tommy. He tries to keep a zombie by placing it in his freezer.
  • 3030 - People think about 2012 (End of the world) as one of the biggest pranks in history.
  • 2010 - Osama Bin Laden wins an oscar!
  • 1998 - Uncyclopedia users fail to understand the linear nature of a timeline.

What happend long ago other days

Things that the nice man on the telly next to the pretty lady are telling you (betwen adverts)


Richard Pittenger.jpg


What things are happening


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's mommies and daddies:

  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?


find out more

Monkey of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



stuff we want to see in show and tell | Too many long words! | Make more shitty un-funny one liners | pages that have the lurgy and no other pages will sit next to | Please tell me a story about...

A Loooooong list of other groups of things about stuff · learn all about speaking funny · If you speak funny (not American) then GO HOME!


To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to#uncyclopedia @ FreeNode.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an special clan of funny peolple in Jim-Jams.

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