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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</p><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p><br />
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
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</noinclude><includeonly><div style="float:left;margin-left:1em;margin-right:1em;margin-bottom:0px;padding: 0em 0em 0em 0em !important;">{{FeatArticleImg|Ipod.jpg|100}}</div>'''[[Euroipods]]''' is A website giving away free ipods in return for<br /><br />a) completing offers b) reffering freinds to do the same<br /><br />
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:'''[[Euroipods|Read more...]]'''<br /><br />''Recently featured'': [[Euroipods]] - [[Euroipods]] - [[Euroipods]] - [[Euroipods]]</includeonly><noinclude><div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em">
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Revision as of 06:20, January 29, 2006

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Sophia has inspired us to work on 31,122 articles since opening in January 2005.


Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.



Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent
Best of | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...


Errors

Windows XP is renowned for its stability and reliability.
Vote for featured image

Today's featured article


Today's Featured Article - Colloquialism

Apprenticeship

Colloquialisms are, you know, a bunch of mumbo-jumbo words your everyday Johnny-come-lately uses when chewing the rag, and not cool for, like, formal speech or whatever. The crincum-crancum of the common tongue is mainly used during pow-wows or bull sessions when hanging out. The word colloquial originally was about the way we talk, where the prose marches to a different drummer than writing things down and all that sort of stuff. Throwing a curved ball however, the colloquial register is about free and easy language rather than, you know, the medium. The Dictionary shows colloquialisms with the abbreviation colloq. for geeks and bookworms.

By and large, colloquial language is standalone from run-of-the-mill formal speech or writing. The mixed bag of jibba-jabba tends to bubble to the surface, once the speaker has chilled out enough to pull his/her head out of her/his ass. Babblative chit-chat may contain a bucket load of slanguage, but for all intents and purposes, is not tied to hackneyed terms at all. Other examples of colloquial language use word mash and foul language, more often than not. A colloquial name is also the nickname punters use to peg a thing or person in the place of the real name. An inflated tractor tyre pulled behind a speedboat at a holiday resort and indeed the geezer driving it, could be refered to as a doughnut, or as Doughnut by both the tourists and the locals.

Colloquialisms are a bigger ball of wax than just pidgin speak used by kids, grunts, fish-heads or donkey-wallopers. In the main, colloquial language shakes and bakes words and terms that are commonly known and easily understood by speakers of the language worldwide: "See all, ear all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. An' if th'ivver does owt for nowt, allus do it for thissen." for example. Slang is a posse of phat raps home-boys use to flex they's sickness, to be down with the rat packs. Slang can sound like a load of epizootics of the blowhole to your average Mondeo-Man, as — despite slang terms being a dime a dozen — they not part of standard English, dig? (more...)

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Selected anniversaries

Beheading

August 4: National Sasquatch Awareness Day (Canada)

  • 1753 - George Washington tells a lie. Universe-ending consequences ensue.
  • 1794 - At the height of the French Revolution, the common contemporary ailment of Separation Issues was first documented. (pictured)
  • 1891 - Oscar Wilde's article The Soul of Man Under Socialism is published in the Fortnightly Review. Wilde's scathing commentary on Socialism is followed up the next fortnight by a scathing treatise on women horse-drawn buggy drivers.
  • 1914 - Britain declares war on Germany, thus starting World War I. The United States insists on not getting involved in lovers' quarrels.
  • 1924 - Under the leadership of the Teletubbies, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish clinch a perfect 11-0 season with a rousing defeat of rival USC.
  • 1924 again - Diplomatic relations between Mexico and the Soviet Union are established. The trade of Tequila for Vodka enjoys brief success, but is later overshadowed by the roaring success of the furry hats and sombreros exchange.
  • 1986 - Chernobyl, a pleasantly glowing hamlet located on the beatiful Pripyat River, opens for its first tourist season.
  • 1998 - Chuck Norris, an accountant from Delaware, first encounters the term 'roundhouse', which bewilders and confuses him.

Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

In the news

Ants1.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


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Did you know...

  • ...there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?

Do you care...


Read More

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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