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(happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, mates)
m (arrr, no more pirates, mates)
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Pirateopedia]] (formally '''HMS Uncyclopedia'''), the [[content-free|duty-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|pirates can edit]] Arghh!</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia|Davey Jones]] has inspired us to sink and pillage [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] ships since we set sail in January 2005.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</p><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p><br>
''Before running out your guns, please read the [[Help:HowTo|ships charter]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|the pirates code]] or you'll be [[Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol|Walking the Plank]].<br>If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then [[:Category:Ignorable policies|speak to polly]](sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)''
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Before editing, please read the '''''[[Beginner's Guide]]''''' and browse '''''[[Help:Contents|the Big Five]].'''''<br>
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<h5>Buried Treasure: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Bilge Rats]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Marine Technology]] | [[:Category:People|Pirates]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Grog]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Succesful Pirates]] | [[Special:Allpages|LLoyds List's]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Ships...]]</p> </h5>
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<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> '''[[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]'''</p>
   
 
<!--''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Browse Uncyclopedia]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Browse by overview|Article overviews]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Quick index|Alphabetical index]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Category schemes|Other category schemes]]''--><br></div>
 
<!--''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Browse Uncyclopedia]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Browse by overview|Article overviews]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Quick index|Alphabetical index]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Category schemes|Other category schemes]]''--><br></div>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Pirate</h3>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Article</h3>
 
{{Featuredarticle}}
 
{{Featuredarticle}}
   
You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose.
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best of Uncyclopedia]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
 
{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived doings]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What be worrying the Land Lubbers</h3>
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
 
{{Recentnews}}
 
{{Recentnews}}
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:UnNews|Pirate Times]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:UnNews|More Current Events at UnNews News]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|roughest captains]]:
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''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
 
{{DidYouKnow}}
 
{{DidYouKnow}}
   
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #f3fff3"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Recent press ganged crew</h3>
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #f3fff3"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Recent articles</h3>
 
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{{Recent}}
   
'''[[Special:Newpages|More Recently press-ganged crew]]''' |
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'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pirates]]''' |
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'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested Keel Haulings]]''' |
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'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested rewrites]]''' |
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stumps]]''' |
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'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot]]''' |
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'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Help out the land-lubbers]]
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
   
 
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Pirate of the Month</h3>
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer and Noob of the Month</h3>
 
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{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
 
{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
   
{{donate|Pirateopedia}}
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{{donate|Uncyclopedia}}
   
For Pirate related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Law of the Sea]], and an elite crew of [[Clinja|Ghost Pirates]]s.
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]

Revision as of 16:28, September 20, 2005

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Sophia has inspired us to work on 31,167 articles since opening in January 2005.


Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.

Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent
Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...


MP Truman2

After being given superpowers by the Manhattan Project, Harry S. Truman (a.k.a. The Truman Torch) personally drops the bomb on Hiroshima.
Vote for featured image

Today's Featured Article

Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Recently featured: Warranty

Yesterday's Featured Article -

You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia


Selected anniversaries

Mask oggle

August 28: International Horniness Day.

Archived Anniversaries

In the news

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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

  • ...that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?


Read More

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
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The content-free encyclopedia
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The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
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Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
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Instructions and guides for anything and everything
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Content-free books
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Useless misquotes galore
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If it makes sense, we don't want it
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Poetry for people who hate poetry
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Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
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We'll tell you why things suck
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Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,167 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.
If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For nonsense related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode.

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