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(happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, mates)
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Pirateopedia]] (formally '''HMS Uncyclopedia'''), the [[content-free|duty-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|pirates can edit]] Arghh!</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia|Davey Jones]] has inspired us to sink and pillage [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] ships since we set sail in January 2005.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</p><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p><br>
''Before running out your guns, please read the [[Help:HowTo|ships charter]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|the pirates code]] or you'll be [[Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol|Walking the Plank]].<br>If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then [[:Category:Ignorable policies|speak to polly]](sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)''
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Before editing, please read the '''''[[Beginner's Guide]]''''' and browse '''''[[Help:Contents|the Big Five]].'''''<br>
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<h5>Buried Treasure: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Bilge Rats]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Marine Technology]] | [[:Category:People|Pirates]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Grog]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Succesful Pirates]] | [[Special:Allpages|LLoyds List's]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Ships...]]</p> </h5>
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<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Politics]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Computers]] | [[:Category:People|People]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Quaint]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> '''[[Special:Popularpages|Most Popular]] | [[Special:Allpages|Alphabetical Index]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Categories...]]'''</p>
   
 
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<!--''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Browse Uncyclopedia]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Browse by overview|Article overviews]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Quick index|Alphabetical index]] &middot; [[Uncyclopedia:Category schemes|Other category schemes]]''--><br></div>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Pirate</h3>
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Article</h3>
 
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose.
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You can [[Uncyclopedia:VFH|vote]] for your favorite articles to be featured.
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of | More of the best of Uncyclopedia]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
 
{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
 
{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}
   
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived doings]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|Archived Anniversaries]]'''
 
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What be worrying the Land Lubbers</h3>
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|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c6c9ff; color: #000; background-color: #f0f0ff"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recentnews|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>In the news</h3>
 
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:UnNews|Pirate Times]]'''
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:UnNews|More Current Events at UnNews News]]'''
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|roughest captains]]:
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''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|biggest morons]]:
 
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'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot]]''' |
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'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Help out the land-lubbers]]
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Pirate of the Month</h3>
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| colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #c9c9c9; color: #000; background-color: #ffffdf"| <div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"><h3>Writer and Noob of the Month</h3>
 
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{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
 
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{{donate|Pirateopedia}}
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{{donate|Uncyclopedia}}
   
For Pirate related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Law of the Sea]], and an elite crew of [[Clinja|Ghost Pirates]]s.
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]

Revision as of 16:28, September 20, 2005

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Sophia has inspired us to work on 30,725 articles since opening in January 2005.


Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.

Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent
Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...


Errors

Windows XP is renowned for its stability and reliability.
Vote for featured image

Today's Featured Article

Today's Featured Article - Battle of Bosworth

Bosworth02

The Battle of Bosworth (22nd August 1485) is classified as the last ruckus in the War of the Roses. It saw King Richard III slain on the battlefield and his successor Henry VII proclaimed king by a patriotic army of mercenaries, Welshmen, Frenchmen, felons, traitors and turncoats. The battle was so famous that years later no one could remember exactly what happened, where it had been fought or whether it had been a good idea after all.

England in the 15th century had gone through a long struggle between rival groups of aristocrats who had nothing better to do but to argue about the colour of roses. Some said the red rose (of England) was more noble but others said white was purer. After some polite discussions, leading on to debates and finally fights - the issue had appeared to have been resolved when King Edward IV killed his rivals in 1471. The Whites or the 'Yorkists' won whilst the Reds (the Lancastrians) were broken and left only an itinerant Welshman called Henry 'Dai' Tudor as their standard bearer. Since there was a price on his head, Henry moved to a caravan park in Brittany where he lived with his uncle Sir Jasper Tudor ('Do Not Touch Me'). Jasper was also Welsh and a creep.

That should have been that for the Lancastrians but in 1483 Edward IV died whilst trying to row off his excess body fat in a fishing expedition. His son Edward became King Edward V but needed to have his fancy dress day out (a coronation) to be 'King in the eyes of God'. But Edward was still in short tights so a regent was required or 'protector' as the title was then called. (more...)

Recently featured: Nouvelle cuisine - Ad hominem

Yesterday's Featured Article - Nouvelle cuisine

Ncdiner

Nouvelle cuisine is the ideal answer when a restaurant becomes too popular. In these cases, the chef is worked off his or her feet trying to keep all those tables supplied with appetising, nutritious food. Increasing the prices may offer a temporary relief from the overpopularity of the eating-place, or it may instead create an atmosphere of quality and exclusiveness, thereby increasing customers further still. Switching from food to Nouvelle Cuisine helpfully reduces the number of customers to manageable proportions, without resorting to such unpopular or illegal measures as salmonella or e-coli.

No one single characteristic describes Nouvelle Cuisine. Rather, a combination of known attributes, when seen together, determine the style to exist.

  • Oversize plate: Nouvelle Cuisine dishes are invariably served on a plate at least three times the diameter required to hold the meal itself. Sometimes, the plate is so large that places must be double-spaced. The very large size of plate allows adequate free space, unencumbered with food, for the chef to demonstrate his or her artistic talent. It is also important that the plate is cold, preferably having been deep-frozen until a few minutes before serving. This coldness ensures that the customer has to eat-up quickly, thus freeing the table sooner.
  • Dusty eating surfaces: The plate, and any other surfaces carrying food shall be sufficiently dusty to create the impression of a possible hygiene concern. If plates do not remain unused long enough for natural dust to build up, then this may be substituted with flour, or in fact with any powdery material typically found in a kitchen. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia


Selected anniversaries

Evil villain

October 24: Evil Villian Appreciation Day, National Put The Ramones On at Full Volume And Piss Off The Neighbors Day, World Beauty Festival, Stupid Worthless Useless Day, Hooverville Appreciation Day.

  • 1867 - After mass revolt by the Australian and New Zealand governments, Harry becomes Guardian of UCT
  • 1889 - First recorded use of pure hearted maiden, strapped to railroad tracks, to attract a ransom; the deed, while dasterdly, merely attracts Royal Canadian Mounted Police who save the girl and thwart the plan
  • 1931 - Polish schoolboy Joseph Ratzinger is arrested for arson, rape and general troublemaking. The Pope declares this day an International catholic holiday.
  • 1941 - Hitler writes the lyrics of "Blitzkrieg Bop". Later becomes a hit song by The Ramones.
  • 1943 - Morroco becomes capital of evil villians; they are simply fed up to "here" with Hitler's needy personality
  • 1969 - Your second grade teacher, mean old Miss Masters takes away your favorite doll and holds it ransome; demands that you earn an "A" on your spelling test or "Dolly gets it"
  • 1977 - Habitat for Humanity contemplates rebuilding the Big Bad Wolf's house for charity. Instead decides on Euthanasia as a more cost-sensitive option.
  • 1984 - A science teacher from Great Yarmouth sends his class zipwiring down pylon wires, claiming a man who looked a spitting image of Osama Bin Laden told him to do so. It turned out to be the janitor. Incredibly, no-one was even injured and everyone cleared the zipline.
  • 2005 - Dick Cheney gets a dozen roses.
  • 2006 - George Bush holds Ramone concert; all of Canada kept awake until 3am
  • 2007 - Harry Potter 7 comes out -SPOILER: Voldermort idealised as upstanding being, wins Hermione's heart.In desperation Harry becomes gay.

Archived Anniversaries

In the news


Cup holder.png





More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:


Read More

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,725 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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