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Revision as of 21:23, September 11, 2005

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Sophia has inspired us to work on 31,098 articles since opening in January 2005,

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Today's Free Sample!

Today's Featured Article - Bill Cosby

Lil bill

Bill Cosby is a well-respected comedienne, actor, writer, activist, and an alleged serial rapist. Alleged, meaning he didn't do it. Cosby got his first big break on the San Francisco comedy scene, where he developed his unique sense of humor and did not commit a single sexual assault, despite what those lying whores say. He began his acting career with a starring role on the 1960s television series "I Spy", where he and Robert Culp pointed out things they saw with their little eyes and did not drug and rape anybody. There were no charges filed, and there's no proof Cosby did anything. I Spy became a hit, and Cosby became a household name, dethroning Sidney Poitier as the least threatening black man in America. You don't get the title of least threatening black man in America by raping people. Just saying.

Cosby's success continued in the 70s with the children's cartoon Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids, which sought to entertain children as well as teach them. Saying you want the man who created that show to get locked up for crimes he didn't commit is the same thing as saying you hate children. In the 80s, Cosby reached the height of his popularity with The Cosby Show, which I can no longer watch on TV Land because a bunch of sluts decided to tarnish Cosby's good name. When I could watch it, I got to see the adventures of Cliff Huxtable and his family who loved him and who would never turn their backs on him like America turned their backs on Cosby. I wish more people were like the Huxtables.

In the only bad move of his career, Cosby appeared in the 1987 spy movie Leonard Part 6, which was so bad Cosby himself told people not to watch it, because he has integrity and would never lie to the public. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - UnNews:U.S. corners Palestine rubble futures market

GazaWater1

SAFED, Palestine - U.S. President Barack Obama signed an agreement with Palestinean President Mahmoud Abbas today to trade in the processing of the region's urban rubble, having failed to reach any agreement to stop creating it.

The so-called Trans-Palestinian Partnership will gradually phase out tariffs, duties, inspections, and the role of the U.S. Congress in the movement of Grade A broken concrete blocks across national boundaries.

It was non-alcoholic beverages and mild gratitude to Allah as Mr. Abbas and Mr. Obama publically declared that a Palestine/US economic future "is buried firmly in the trenchant rubble that plagues our streets."

In a candid interview on Israel TV, Mr. Obama said he has thrown in the towel on a peace agreement between Israel and a Palestinian state, as he could hardly get his head around the Wikipedia entry, let alone reason with Abbas. Mr. Obama said at least all parties were better off with a financial agreement in the raw-materials sector.

The employment rate in Palestine also increased by 0.6%, as tens of Palestinians rushed to join the President's new "Palestinian Rubble Liberation Union (PRLU)". At the same time, a "Fatah Debris and General Workers Union" was formed to protect the PRLU Union members from the PRLU, and a "Hamas Union of Fragments" to protect the already established Islamic Rubble Movement. (more...)

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July 6: Man Milk Day

  • 2300 BC - Chinese religious officers declared that drinking milk is a sin.
  • 1609 - Bohemia is granted freedom of religion. The Bohemians snap their fingers in approval.
  • 1732 - The 'Running of the Bulls' Festival in Pamploma, originally, 'The Drowning of the Animals' Festival, undergoes Major overhaul. PETA established.
  • 1946 - George W. Bush born; record numbers of brain death recorded in America.
  • 1977 - Idiot deems day "Man Milk Day" and proceeds to schedule lame events (Editor advises they read the article "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid")
  • 1978 - Margaret Thatcher blesses the first man to be milked.
  • 1986 - Mike Portnoy founded the band Dream Theater
  • 1988 - Shemales riot near Rio de Janeiro to obtain the rights for selling their milk to earn a living.
  • 1996 - Mike Portnoy travels back in time to found the band Dream Theater
  • 2004 - Man Milk is found to be an excellent source of energy for athletes. Naturally, using it in this fashion is outlawed by the U.N. under pressure by the Gatorade overlords of the universe.
  • 2006 - San Seattle Riot kills 6 Caloringtons

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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!!

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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