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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3"><h1>My Readie-Thingie</h1>Welcome [[Americans]]!!! This is the fun, exciting [[Uncyclopedia|easy-read]] place on your computer. You can [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|read]] '''your''' collection of waords and studd any time you want - it even gets [[Help:HowTo|magically]] edited '''just for you!!!''' Don't be shy - it's [[content-free]]!!!</p><br><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has made us work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles '''just for you!!!'''.</p>
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font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia]], the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Help:HowTo|anyone can edit]].</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia]] has inspired us to work on [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles since opening in January 2005.</p>
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''Before editing, please read the [[Help:HowTo|writing guidelines]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
   
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</td><td>[[Image:WeStandAsOne.jpg|thumb|280px|[[United States of America|Land of the free!]] <br> [[George W. Bush|Home of the brave!]]]]</td></tr></table>
 
 
 
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|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border: 1px solid #ffc9c9; color: #000; background-color: #fff3f3"|<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em"> <h3>Today's Featured Article</h3>
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>What happend long ago today</h3>
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Selected anniversaries</h3>
 
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<div style="float:right;margin-left:5px;">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:DidYouKnow|action=edit}} edit]''</div> <h3>Did you know...</h3>
 
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''From Uncyclopedia's [[Special:Listadmins|mommies and daddies]]:
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To make some new firends so talk about stuff, go to[irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
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For nonsense related chat, see [irc://irc.us.freenode.net/uncyclopedia #uncyclopedia @ FreeNode].
   
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an [[special]] clan of [[Clinjas|funny peolple in Jim-Jams]].
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinjas]].

Revision as of 14:39, July 5, 2005

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.


Sophia has inspired us to work on 30,695 articles since opening in January 2005.

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Today's Featured Article

Today's Featured Article - Town meeting

Faneuil Hall

Town meeting is the municipal legislature in many towns in New England. Town meeting has been called "the purest form of democracy," pure although none of the ingredients are refined. Students of the contaminated version called Congress can restore their faith by studying democracy at full "strength."

Democracy is the form of government where "the majority rules." Americans have historically been giddy about democracy, as they enjoy a system where fifty-percent-plus-one of the voters can have their way on propositions such as:

Recently featured: Town meeting - BioShock

Yesterday's Featured Article - BioShock

BioShock cover

BioShock is an award-winning, first-person shooter video game developed by Irrational and released by 2K Games in 2007. The game is set in the underwater city of Rapture in the 1960s. The player identifies with the protagonist, misunderstood perverted mass murderer ‘Jack’, a character based on the game's main developer, Ken Levine. It is widely regarded as one of the greatest games ever made due to its shocking content, adult themes and political satire, rivaling those sorts of shows that are only screened on HBO after the kids are meant to be in bed.

The game opens with the main protagonist Jack on the transatlantic red-eye flight to an unknown destination. A short clip shows Jack using an empty bag of Quavers in an odd way, followed by his plane crashing into the Atlantic Ocean, killing almost everyone.

Jack manages to survive the crash, and whilst swimming away from the flaming wreckage and bobbing decapitations, spots a darkened lighthouse standing inconspicuously in the middle of the ocean. Balls beginning to freeze, he quickly swims over to it and enters the front door to realise he’s inadvertently discovered the entrance to the hidden underwater city of Rapture. With no other plans in his diary for the day, he descends into Rapture and is immediately confronted with blabbering duo Andrew Ryan and Atlas The Sneaky Paddy. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured.

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Selected anniversaries

Weasel Stomping Day

September 24: Mudkip Appreciation Day

  • 3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "Thert isi thaer no doG!"
  • 1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
  • 1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
  • 1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler gets into a hedge dispute with his Polish neighbour.
  • 1944 - France is liberated by the allied forces. Riots ensue.
  • 1960 - Chuck Norris hires a Vietnamese plumber. Vietnam is still recovering.
  • 1991 - Jesus found alive and well in a Manchester crackhouse
  • 1993 - Karl Marx personal diaries discovered, Marxism apparently was just a wind up to bug the Americans.
  • 2003 - George Bush declares war on Legoland
  • 2007 - The last day of Adventalo, the gathering of millions of nerds awaiting the coming of the chiefus christ
  • 2008 - War Veteran, Big Bird committed suicide after receiving hate mail for accidentally sinking china when he flushed the toilet
  • 2009 - All 8 followers of the new found religion Walmartism are sentenced to death after reports of attacks on rivalry gangs The "Food Lion Elite"
  • 2010 - United States of America takes over Japan Renaming it Coca Cola
  • 2022 - Michael Jackson sues himself for sexual assault and wins. He celebrates by sexually assaulting himself again.
  • 2342 - Somebody gets fired on their birthday from school.
  • 2351 - Walmart declares war on Islam. Millions die.

Archived Anniversaries

In the news


WalMart service.jpg





More Current Events


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

  • ...that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?


Read More

Writer of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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