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Revision as of 06:15, February 11, 2007

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,843 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article

Today's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?

Not much!

That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power?

Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.

I'd love to hear more about power!

Of course you would! (more...)

Did you know...

*...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ...that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?

In the news

Stickman-prophet.jpg

On this day...

Insertpic

[Insert double entendre here]

February 1: International [Insert holiday here] day
  • 24398 BC- First fat kid falls down flight of stairs.
  • 1500 AD - Caveman invents the kayak
  • 1501 AD - Caveman invents the bus
  • 1931-Boris Yeltsin born; his mother has a vodka drink while he is still in the womb, thus born drunk. *<nowiki>[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
  • [Insert a year from 0-43 AD here] - [Insert overdone Jesus joke here]
  • [Insert 1337 here] - [Insert tired, pointless noob joke here]
  • A Peruvian Boeing 737 crashes in the Andes - killing 123 people. pwned by mountains ;[
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
  • [Insert date that doesn't follow the given order at all] - [Insert sexual innuendo with[insert name here] and [insert name here] along with an event that defies logic]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert overdone European reference here]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
  • [Insert completely random date here] - [Insert absurd event here]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert event that takes place in Paris here] - [Insert sentence containing 'Rioting' here]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
  • [Insert year here] - [Insert denial of event here]
  • 2006 - James Blunt admits he was fed helium as a child and recommends it too the youth of today
  • 20X6 - Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking me for a challenge?!?!
  • [Insert A.D. 2101 here] - [Insert tired, pointless All Your Base reference here]
  • [Insert date absurdly far into the future here] - [Insert joke about robot overlords here]
  • [Insert (absurdly large number times two absurdly large numbers)AD here] - [Insert worn out and over used joke about a clone of your mother and me here].

Today's featured picture

American goths

Unfortunately, despite traditional farmers' resilience across the ages, the "American Gothic" lifestyle just isn't what it used to be.

Image Credit: Splaka
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

New meat from the writing competition: Supply-side Jesus | NBC | ENIAC | Raphael | Horace | Renewable energy | One Thousand and One Nights | Rembrandt | Relationships (images) | Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show | Ido | Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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