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<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia Americana]],</h1>
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<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|all good, loyal Americans can edit]].</div>
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em 2em; color:#000;">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</div>
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<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</div>
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'''[[Did You Know|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions|Suggest new entries]]'''
 
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Protected by the [[Help:Fair Use|Declaration of Independence]] and an elite clan of [[Clinja|Minutemen]]. [[God]] bless [[America]]!
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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

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Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Snips, snails and puppy dog tails, featured on 28 August 2012. See the featured version.
Bureau of time management, featured on 28 August 2011. See the featured version.
Beige, featured on 28 August 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Gg9072
  • ...that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (pictured)
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
  • ...that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
  • ...that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons... and morons?
  • ...that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?

In the news:

On this day...

Mask oggle

August 28: International Horniness Day.

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LandoftheJews

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Image Credit: RabbiTechno
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