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Latest revision as of 12:53, May 19, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,092 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article - UnNews:U.S. corners Palestine rubble futures market

GazaWater1

SAFED, Palestine - U.S. President Barack Obama signed an agreement with Palestinean President Mahmoud Abbas today to trade in the processing of the region's urban rubble, having failed to reach any agreement to stop creating it.

The so-called Trans-Palestinian Partnership will gradually phase out tariffs, duties, inspections, and the role of the U.S. Congress in the movement of Grade A broken concrete blocks across national boundaries.

It was non-alcoholic beverages and mild gratitude to Allah as Mr. Abbas and Mr. Obama publically declared that a Palestine/US economic future "is buried firmly in the trenchant rubble that plagues our streets."

In a candid interview on Israel TV, Mr. Obama said he has thrown in the towel on a peace agreement between Israel and a Palestinian state, as he could hardly get his head around the Wikipedia entry, let alone reason with Abbas. Mr. Obama said at least all parties were better off with a financial agreement in the raw-materials sector.

The employment rate in Palestine also increased by 0.6%, as tens of Palestinians rushed to join the President's new "Palestinian Rubble Liberation Union (PRLU)". At the same time, a "Fatah Debris and General Workers Union" was formed to protect the PRLU Union members from the PRLU, and a "Hamas Union of Fragments" to protect the already established Islamic Rubble Movement. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Berlin Wall, featured on 2 July 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Some guy does some stuff, featured on 2 July 2012. See the featured version.
Boston Molasses Disaster, featured on 2 July 2011. See the featured version.
Homosexuality in the British military, featured on 2 July 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

150x150 BETbooty
  • ...that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (pictured)
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ...that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory?
  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ...that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

In the news

On this day...

July 2: Canada Day (Canada) (if July 1 falls on a Sunday (which it didn't)), Confusing Parentheses Day
  • 1492 - After becoming extremely confused by oceanic parentheses, Christopher Columbus arrives in The New World, believing it to be China.
  • 1566 - French astrologer Nostradamus dies. Didn't see that one coming, did ya Nostradamus?
  • 1698 - Thomsas Savery patents the first steam engine, designed to mechanically move a horse's legs so as to reduce the amount of effort required to pull a horse-drawn buggy.
  • 1882 - Oscar Wilde reaches the height of his celebrity, arriving to the premiere of his play The Importance of Being Earnest in a luxury stretch horsebuggy.
  • 1947 - A weather balloon crashes in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. The Army covers up the loss of the weather balloon by claiming it was an alien spaceship.
  • 1962 - The first Wal-Mart opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas. The primitive version of the store offers only guns, confederate flags, and bullets.
  • 1996 - Aliens attack the world, destroying New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., everywhere else. Bill Pullman, Will Smith survive.

Today's featured picture

RacismProtest

BNP rally.

Image Credit: Digi
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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