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Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,925 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - Slut shaming

Protest against slut-shaming

Slut shaming is the basis of modern society — the pillar on which decent people plop their weight — the great turtle on which morality stands in order to reach the top shelf. But it is equally important as an amusement, the amount of which is limited only by the number of:

  1. Definitions of the term "slut,"
  2. Available shaming techniques, and
  3. Participants on hand.

The term "slut" signifies a woman whose fortress is not well-guarded. The concept is relative, not only because the figurative winners write the history of war, but because the proverbial pen is mightier than the sword. Thus, every human being unfortunate enough to be born female is a potential slut, and many live up to their potential.

Sigmund Freud stated that sexual desire motivates human actions. Nevertheless, slut shaming is not always sexual. The alleged slut can be a teenager who bares a fraction of her body (any fraction) for a fraction of a second in front of a fraction of a camera; or equally likely an elderly Cambridge lady, researching into the role of slut shaming.

So it is not that a woman defends her fortress but that she burrows under the fortress of social control — such as when she criticises slut shaming itself. A key defense that society uses is the "slut factor," as a woman is not only a slut when she acts sluttily, but especially when she resists acting sluttily. To further show the term's marvelous adaptability, a woman acting maximally slutty is never called a "slut" by her co-actor, at least for the entire time they are in bed together. (more...)

Recently featured: NBC

Yesterday's Featured Article - NBC

NBC 2014

NBC is an American television corporation. During television's "golden age," NBC was a big member of the "Big Three," which tirelessly presented the same content as its two rivals.

In the modern era, NBC has split into dozens of niche channels and projects, which swim in every American's video bloodstream like an antibody looking for an infectious idea to latch onto and destroy.

NBC was begun by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), eventually to stand proudly alongside CBS and ABC. This was the reassuring 20th Century, in which everything big had a three-letter abbreviation. There was no torture of terrorists but merely DOD, and RET to the ROK, and welfare was simply HUD and HEW, and even spoke English without an African American accent, LOL. It was a nation where Grandpa still had decades left before discovering that permanent foreign involvement and the welfare state didn't work — and even after he did, he would keep getting checks in the mail from the SSA.

RCA had acquired two radio stations, WJZ in Newark and WEAF in New York City. RCA was perturbed that WEAF had more than three letters, and no less perturbed that no one could listen to both stations at the same time (as people had at most one radio).

At the time, no one wanted to listen to even one radio station, and they did so only because the only alternative was going outdoors and listening to sirens and gunshots. The scientists of the day were experimenting with using radio to send pictures as well as sounds, and RCA management was experimenting with running two businesses without two staffs. "We are starting a network" became a more pleasing posture than, "We are firing all the employees and keeping their pay."(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Two turtles of Verona, featured on 2 April 2013. See the featured version.
Bass, featured on 2 April 2011. See the featured version.

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Nothing ever happened here
  • ...that there's nothing to see here? (pictured)
  • ...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
  • ...that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ...that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ...that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
  • ...that Ben Stiller makes everything funny?

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Kittenbasket

April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay)

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Kung-pooh

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This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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