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Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,181 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate
Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Why?:Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk? An Historical Perspective, featured on 3 September 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:U.N. warns Syria to halt violence or face further warnings, featured on 3 September 2012. See the featured version.
Sun, featured on 3 September 2011. See the featured version.
Pointy Sticks, featured on 3 September 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Silver surfer&#039;s family
  • ...that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (pictured)
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins?
  • ...that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" on them are actually delicious?
  • ...that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
  • ...that under Communism, everyone gets an C?

In the news:

On this day...

September 3: International Festival of Frowning at Cows (Saskatchewan)
  • 447 B.C. - The word “fabulous” is invented by Plato.
  • 1189 - Richard the Lionhearted is crowned King of England at Westminster, followed by a successful reign consisting chiefly of lazing in the sun and ridding the British Isles of zebras.
  • 1783 - The American Revolutionary War comes to an end with the Treaty of Paris. While America wins, it concedes that Britain is still better than France.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler embarks on his global tour, performing to a sold-out crowd in Warsaw.
  • 1945 - Spoons were acquired by the known company, Tupperware.
  • 1974 - William Shatner discovers the world's largest known deposits of tiberium in his back garden.
  • 1971 - The day my Daddy died.
  • 2005 - Bob sits down for dinner, frowns at his overcooked steak.

Today's featured picture

LEGOGiraffeCull

Lego Noir

Image Credit: ScottPat
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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