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Today's Featured Article - British ski jumpers

Eddie edwards3

The imperialist ambitions of the United Kingdom used to be expressed through colonisation of half of the known world and a complete exploitation of everything it had and it did not have to offer. Nowadays, this behaviour being virtually impossible due to the pressure from the part of the UN and NATO, the British decided to conquer the world of sports. Unfortunately, their plans are usually ruined by different countries, depending on what discipline Britain tries to compete in. In cricket the country is beaten by South Africa, in soccer by Italy and in ice hockey by most of the known countries, whether Northern or Southern. Such losses on multiple fronts have urged England to create several entirely new sports disciplines, which only the British would know how to compete at, notably "unsuccessful ski jumping". Unsuccessful ski jumping is roughly the same as the usual ski jumping with the only difference being the fact that British ski jumpers have, since the dawn of sports, been trained to fail. (more...)

Recently featured: British ski jumpers

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Samsung, featured on 24 November 2014. See the featured version.
UnNews:Tournament of Hell to be played again for first time in six years, featured on 24 November 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:The Whimsical World of Freedom of Expression, featured on 24 November 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Topless woman 11111

In the news:

On this day...

November 24: Pete Best's Birthday (US, UK)
Sgt best
  • 1601 - Pilgrims celebrate the first Thanksgiving. Pete Best wonders why there is no Thanksgiving in the UK until he realizes that The English have nothing to give thanks for.
  • 1859 - The great prophet Charles Darwin publishes his manifesto The Origin of Species, predicting the eventual birth of Pete Best.
  • 1941 - Pete Best is kicked out of mother's womb.
  • 1946 - Teacher sends note home to Best's parents, complaining about his sullenness and unwillingness to play bass with other children.
  • 1951 - Mother auditions George Best as possible replacement in the family.
  • 1955 - Learns to play drums. Snares, bass and drumsticks go off and socialize with one another, leaving Best out.
  • 1960 - Makes trip to Germany; greeted with cries of "Rammstein forever, Pete Best never!"
  • 1961 - Plays with Tony Sheridan; burns Virginia with Phil Sheridan.
  • 1962 - The Beatles record demo version of "Love Me Do;" original chorus of "We hate our fucking drummer" goes unnoticed.
  • 1962 - George Harrison stares icily at Best during a performance; Paul McCartney kicks his drum set during rehearsal; John Lennon hires Brian Epstein solely to fire Best.
  • 1962 - George Martin brings Ringo Starr in to shout incoherently over Best's drum parts; later uses it as an excuse to fire Best.
  • 1962 - Best kicked out of the Beatles.
  • 1963 - Best kicked out of house;
  • 1964 - Best kicked out of England; Elizabeth II says her kingdom "wants to go in a new direction."
  • 1968 - Best briefly kicked back into Beatles when Ringo leaves during White Album sessions; quits when he realizes he'll lose his job a second time to a guy named "Ringo."
  • 1970 - John, Paul, George and Ringo join Best in the "Ex-Beatles" group.
  • 1971 - Alice Cooper jumps from a plane and disappears, after collecting a ransom which includes US$200,000 and a Pete Best box set.
  • 1980 - Best kicks it old school.
  • 1984 - Fozzie Bear tragically dies of a heart-attack.
  • 1991 - Seven years after the song was released, Freddie Mercury breaks free and moves to the Moon.
  • 1993 - David Dickinson makes headline news after cutting off negotiations to be in the Doom video game.
  • 1995 - Release of Beatles Anthology allows new generation of fans to kick Pete Best around.
  • 2000 - Pete Best briefly dies for 4 minutes before coming to life thanks to magic.
  • 2012 - Best celebrates 50th anniversary of Love Me Do release.

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