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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em 2em; color:#000;">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</div>
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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 15:25, July 11, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,116 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Hillary Clinton

Yesterday's Featured Article - Hillary Clinton

HillaryClintonAaaa

Hillary Clinton also known as Hillary Rodham Clinton or Hillary Rodham, or on bumper stickers as just Hillary! depending on how ex-President Bill Clinton is polling that week, is a U.S. politician, former First "Lady," and the only Secretary of State who had to be replaced by John Kerry.

Hillary Clinton is the utterly likable and completely unavoidable nominee of the Democratic Party for U.S. President in 2016, a campaign for which she has adopted slogans such as, "I'm the next best thing to Bill!" and "Vote for me and get Bill free!"

Hillary was born in Chicago, Illinois, on October 26, 1947, the daughter of a small businessman and a smaller homemaker, neither of whom is the clear source of those large thighs. Many journalists believe Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, who would go on to be someone people had heard of when he climbed Mount Everest — mostly, those journalists who take Hillary at her word. However, the fact is that she was instead named after Hilary Duff, and her parents doubled the "l" for "teh llullz."

Hillary was raised a Methodist, participated in student government, and by all accounts had a normal youth, apart from her obvious destiny to be a Senator and President some day.

The household was politically conservative and even influenced by Barry Goldwater. Unfortunately, she fell in with the Rockefeller wing — hardly Methodist and, on most issues, strictly agnostic — and later settled on Saul Alinsky, America's clearest exponent (after Karl Marx) of the idea that the ends justify the means, whose manual on ruthlessness informed the nation's lawyers no less than its pre-schoolers. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Normandy, featured on 1 August 2013. See the featured version.
Is the bear a Catholic?, featured on 1 August 2012. See the featured version.
Ethnicity, featured on 1 August 2011. See the featured version.
Unreliable Narrator, featured on 1 August 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Silver surfer&#039;s family
  • ...that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (pictured)
  • ...that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
  • ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ...that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
  • ...that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ...that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?

In the news

On this day...

Baldrick series 3

August 1: Independence Day (Switzerland), Swiss Cheese Day (Everywhere Else)

  • 1844 - The FBI executes a sting operation intended to disrupt turnip trafficking, apprehending turnip kingpin Baldrick (pictured).
  • 1910 - Los Angeles suffers it first drive-by shooting from a car, a Ford Model T. However, the culprit is quickly apprehended by LAPD, who were chasing on foot.
  • 1919 - The people of Zimbabwe elect their first Lord High Bison.
  • 1923 - Calvin Klein proclaims himself Emperor of Cologne, Germania.
  • 1957 - Rod Serling is ticketed in the Middle Ground between Light and Shadow for driving Noon in a Twilight Zone.
  • 1979 - Australia's first kangaroo prime minister is elected. He later appoints marsupials to the judiciary, resulting in the establishment of kangaroo courts.
  • 1980 - Australia's first kangaroo prime minister is assassinated by a koala. Conspiracy theories quickly emerge as witnesses claim to have seen a surfer on the grassy knoll.
  • 2015 - 12:00pm France declares war on Switzerland as it's cheese industry takes a massive blow from swiss cheese sales. 1 hour 45 minutes later they surrender.

Today's featured picture

Cardboardmini

It is evident that the car has come a long way since its original cardboard chassis design.

Image Credit: Hindleyite
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Hercules | The Angry Video Game Nerd | Timur the Lame | Wasp | Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher | Colloquialism | Suit | Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee | Comcast | Green Party (UK) | Lily Savage | Microsoft PowerPoint | Warranty | Unicode | Hillsdale College | Frank Miller | United Kingdom general election, 2015 | Sault Ste. Marie | Metadata | New meat from the Surprise Me! Spring Festival: Ted Cruz | Box-spring | Chamber pot | Coming soon | First-past-the-post voting |


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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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