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Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,720 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - Nouvelle cuisine

Ncdiner

Nouvelle cuisine is the ideal answer when a restaurant becomes too popular. In these cases, the chef is worked off his or her feet trying to keep all those tables supplied with appetising, nutritious food. Increasing the prices may offer a temporary relief from the overpopularity of the eating-place, or it may instead create an atmosphere of quality and exclusiveness, thereby increasing customers further still. Switching from food to Nouvelle Cuisine helpfully reduces the number of customers to manageable proportions, without resorting to such unpopular or illegal measures as salmonella or e-coli.

No one single characteristic describes Nouvelle Cuisine. Rather, a combination of known attributes, when seen together, determine the style to exist.

  • Oversize plate: Nouvelle Cuisine dishes are invariably served on a plate at least three times the diameter required to hold the meal itself. Sometimes, the plate is so large that places must be double-spaced. The very large size of plate allows adequate free space, unencumbered with food, for the chef to demonstrate his or her artistic talent. It is also important that the plate is cold, preferably having been deep-frozen until a few minutes before serving. This coldness ensures that the customer has to eat-up quickly, thus freeing the table sooner.
  • Dusty eating surfaces: The plate, and any other surfaces carrying food shall be sufficiently dusty to create the impression of a possible hygiene concern. If plates do not remain unused long enough for natural dust to build up, then this may be substituted with flour, or in fact with any powdery material typically found in a kitchen. (more...)
Recently featured: Nouvelle cuisine - Ad hominem

Yesterday's Featured Article - Ad hominem

Adhominemabusive

Ad hominem (derived from Latin; or Ad-ay ominem-Hay in Pig Latin) is an effective technique used to disprove the argument of a stupid person whose ill-conceived ideas are probably reminiscent of a troubled childhood. The opponent is attacked personally rather than responded to based on their daft ideals and even dafter hairstyle. In most cases the point that is attacked is irrelevant and has no reasoning behind it. Those who use ad hominem points to counter ad hominem points are just as silly and are only leading themselves down a route of more sin.

An example of an ad hominem argument is the debate surrounding gays. The gay sinners, who thanks to their high pitched voice can barely be detected by normal human ears, when presenting their argument put forward the point that people who hate gays only hate gays because they're white and vote for the BNP. The gays who mentioned this point all went to states school and learnt geography so are, unfortunately, completely incapable of understanding how stupid their point was.

Abusive ad hominem arguments involve a petty use of verbal or physical violence against the opponent because the opponent is mentally ill and only has one arm and so can't hold up a substantive argument. Verbal abuse can involve comedic lampoons of the opposition with statements such as "You smell", "You're a loser" and "Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker the Honourable Gentleman owns less than me. Pray shut him up my good man." (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Hmor, featured on 22 October 2012. See the featured version.
Louisiana Purchase, featured on 22 October 2011. See the featured version.
Lord Christopher Monckton, featured on 22 October 2010. See the featured version.
Archery, featured on 22 October 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Kilroy was here

In the news

On this day...

CAPSLOCK

October 22: Int-t-ternational S-s-stuttering Awareness Day and iNTERNATIONAL cAPS lOCK dAY

  • Beginning Of Time Mrs. Harris (the best Descendant of Chinggis Khan) was born on this epic day!!!!
  • 4004 BC GOD CREATES THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH AT EXACTLY 6:00 PM (ACCORDING TO BISHOP USSHER)
  • 1780 - KING GEORGE VII DECLARES WAR ON TERRRRRRRROR.
  • 1850 - FIR FIR FIR FISST CELEBRATION OF NATIONAL ZOMBIE DAY. "BRAIIIINS" IS FAST BECOMING A PO PO POPULAR CATCHPH PH PHRASE.
  • 1889 - AMERICAN TYPEWRITER'S UNION CHANGES NAME TO AMERICAN FEDERATION OF DICTATION TAKERS
  • 1920 NEW YORK TIMES INTRODUCES ITS FAMOUS "NEWS ZIPPER"; WALL STREET JOURNAL CAUGHT WITH ITS PANTS DOWN
  • 1941 - WAR BREAKS OUT BETWEEN ALLIED STANDARD TYPEWRITER KEY BOARD LOVERS AND AXIS OF DVORAK USERS; PUNCTUATION SUFFERERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUGHT IN MIDDLE
  • 1962 - JFK PREVENTS SOVIETS FR FROM ARMING CUBA BY BLOCKING OFF THE ISLAND WITH HIS BOD BODY.
  • 1968 - LED ZEP-EP-EP-EPLIN RELEASES HIS CLASSIC ALBUM "LED ZEPPPPLIN IIIII", FEATURING HIS HIT SINGLE "WHOLE LOTTTTA LLLLLOVE"
  • 1977 - THE UNCLAI
  • 1984 - STRANGEEE BOOK COM COM COMEES OUT WITH TIT TITT TITTLE OF YEARRR
  • 2003 - MILLIONS OF N00BS WORLDWIDE DISCOVER THE CAPS LOCK KEY AND DECIDE TO ALWAYS TYPE LIKE THIS...
  • 2005 - W W W W W W W WOR WOR WORLD REC RE REC RECORD STUT ST STUTTER WI W W WIN WINS P P P P P P P P P PRI PRIZE
  • 2006 - CAPS LOCK DAY IS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL CAPS LOCK GETS STUCK AND EVERYONE IS THOUGHT TO BE YELLING.
  • 2666 - I HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAVE TH-TH-TH-TH-THE WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WORST ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-ST FUCK THIS IM OFF TO A HOUSE PARTY.

Today's featured picture

BeethovenDropsTheBass

DJ Beathoven was one of the early pioneers of dubstep. He is known for the unique wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub sound of his music.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
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