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Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,177 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Netflix, featured on 2 September 2014. See the featured version.
Krypton, featured on 2 September 2013. See the featured version.
Objectivity, featured on 2 September 2012. See the featured version.
HowTo:Write an Uncyclopedia article without reading any of the rules or directions or manuals or policies first, featured on 2 September 2011. See the featured version.
Xkcd, featured on 2 September 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Topless woman 11111
  • ...that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (pictured)
  • ...that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
  • ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
    • ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
  • ...that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
  • ...that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
  • ...that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
  • ...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.

In the news:

On this day...

10PM-GMT

09/02/2004 --- 10:33:14 PM - - - - - I no love you no more!.

September 2: Me Love You Long Time Day

  • 2004 10:32 PM GMT -- Me start to love you.
  • 2004 10:33 PM GMT -- Me stop lovin' you.
  • 2004 10:34 PM GMT -- Me say, "OK, maybe I no love long time after all."
  • 2005 10:35 AM GMT -- Me say, "I never really loved you to begin with."
  • 2008 12:69 PM GMT -- Children's entertainer and all round purple dinosaur, Barney, provoked into fight with a spanish tourtoise on live children's television. Barney's public statement read "I Love You. You Love Me...Ahh F**k It! That Stupid Green C**T Slept With My Wife!". Tortoise Talkative Eric later charged with being totally freaking awesome, and all round green reptilian.

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