Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(more shit. also as requested on IRC)
m (Turn "In the News" heading into a link to UnNews)
 
(128 intermediate revisions by 27 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{:User:Kip_the_Dip/finger_example}}
+
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__
{{:User:TheLedBalloon/Letter}}
+
<!------------ Top banner ------------------------------ -->
  +
{| style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
  +
|style="width:56%; color:#000"| <!--
  +
  +
---------- "Welcome to Uncyclopedia" etc ----------- -->
  +
{| style="width:280px; border:solid 0px; background:none;"
  +
|style="width:280px; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"|
  +
<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em 2em; color:#000;">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</div>
  +
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">the [[content-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|anyone can edit]].</div>
  +
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles in English</div>
  +
|}<!--
  +
  +
---------- Portals on right hand side ---------------------------- -->
  +
|style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"|
  +
*[[:Portal:Politics|Politics]]
  +
*[[:Portal:Games|Games]]
  +
*[[:Portal:Music|Music]]
  +
|style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"|
  +
*[[Portal:Science|Science]]
  +
*[[:Portal:History|History]]
  +
*[[:Portal:Art|Art]]
  +
|style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"|
  +
*[[:Portal:Television|Television]]
  +
*[[:Portal:Film|Film]]
  +
*[[:Portal:Theatre|Theatre]]
  +
|style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"|
  +
*[[:Portal:Society|Society]]
  +
*[[:Portal:People|People]]
  +
*'''[[:Portal:Portals|All Portals]]'''
  +
|}<!--
  +
  +
---------- Links under banner --------------------- -->
  +
{|style="width:100%; background:none; margin:-.8em 0 -.7em 0;"
  +
|style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"|
  +
[[Beginner's Guide]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Five_pliers|The Big Five]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Style Guide|Style]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:FAQ|Questions]] '''&middot;''' [[Help:Contents|Help]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]] '''&middot;''' [[File:F_icon.svg|15px|link=https://www.facebook.com/pages/Uncyclopedia/1856295257929947?sk=timeline|The Uncyclopedia page on Facebook]]
  +
|}
  +
  +
<!--
  +
  +
---------- Beginning of main table ------------------ -->
  +
{| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
  +
|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"| <!--
  +
  +
---------- Beginning of left column ----------------- -->
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
  +
|{{r|Featuredarticle}}{{FFA/include|z}}
  +
|-
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did you know...</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|<div style="margin-left:0.5em;">{{DYKimage}}{{DidYouKnow|r}}{{DidYouKnow|a}}{{DidYouKnow|n}}{{DidYouKnow|d}}{{DidYouKnow|o}}{{DidYouKnow|m}}</div>
  +
<div align="right" class="noprint" style="clear:all">
  +
'''[[Did You Know|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions|Suggest new entries]]'''
  +
</div>
  +
|-
  +
|}<!--
  +
  +
---------- Beginning of right column ----------------------- -->
  +
|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cedff2; background-color:#f2f8ff; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2f8ff;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[UnNews|In the news:]]</h2>
  +
|-
  +
| <div class="nonwhite">{{RecentUnNews}}</div>
  +
|-
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">On this day...</h2>
  +
|-
  +
| <div class="nonwhite">{{Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}_{{CURRENTDAY}}}}</div>
  +
<div align="right" class="noprint">
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{tomorrow}}|View tomorrow]] &ndash; [[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|More anniversaries...]]'''
  +
</div>
  +
<!-- This appears to be dead
  +
|-
  +
! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Colonization of the Week
  +
|-
  +
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[Uncyclopedia:Imperial_Colonization#Our_current_Colonization|{{Imperial Colonization/current}}]]</span><br />''Help [[Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization|us]] clear the ivy of crap,<br>and plant the seeds of humour.''</center>-->
  +
|}
  +
|}<!--
  +
  +
---------- Featured picture ----------------- -->
  +
{|class="MainPageBG" style="margin: 0; padding: .5em; width:100%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Today's featured picture</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|style="color:#000;"|{{FI}}
  +
|}<!--
  +
  +
------------- Recent Articles ---------------------- -->
  +
{| width="100%" class="MainPageBG" style="margin-top: .5em; padding: .5em; border:1px solid #ffc9c9; background-color:#fff3f3; vertical-align:top; "
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#F2CECE;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> Recent Articles</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|{{Recent}}
  +
'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
  +
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
  +
'''[[:Category:Articles to fix|Articles to fix]]''' |
  +
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
  +
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Pee Review]]''' |
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
  +
|-
  +
|} <!--
  +
  +
-------------------- Start of Awards etc ------------------------------ -->
  +
{| width="100%" class="MainPageBG" style="margin-top: .5em; padding: .5em; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;"
  +
|-
  +
{{Vote Reminder}}
  +
|}
  +
{{Sisterprojects/languages}}
  +
  +
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an elite clan of [[Clinja]]s.
  +
[[Category:Uncyclopedia]]
  +
{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,309 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Carly Fiorina

Yesterday's Featured Article - Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina (born September 6, 1954) is an American corporate mogul, former candidate for U.S. Senate from California, and a Republican Party candidate for President in 2016.

The Fiorina campaign states that Fiorina is uniquely able to take on and defeat Hillary Clinton, as the two candidates would have two breasts apiece, compared to none for anyone else in the race from either major party. However, the much more popular Donald Trump states that Fiorina's face is "ridiculous" for a would-be U.S. President. "Just look at it."

According to a glossy campaign brochure which "has not been approved or coordinated with any candidate or candidate's committee," and is thus due all the deference as if the Koch Brothers had signed it themselves, Fiorina was born in 1954 in Austin, Texas to Madelon Montross Jueregens and Joseph Tyree Sneed III. This would mean that she began life with a different name, although this is hardly as remarkable for a woman as it was for President Les King or Baz Soetero. The former never had to run for election (outside Grand Rapids, Michigan) and the latter had the media in the palm of his cocaine-stained hand.

What's-her-name's mother was an artist (in the same way that this author is an author) and her father was an up-and-coming law school professor who took the family around the world. Fiorina attended five different high schools, including one in Ghana, but none in Kenya and never claimed to be from any of those places, even to goose sales of an autobiography. Ultimately she graduated from a mundane high school in Durham, North Carolina. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Suddenly, Raccoons, featured on 23 July 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Pigpen
  • ...that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (pictured)
  • ...that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ...that really fat people cannot wash themselves but must avail of car washes late at night?
  • ...that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ...that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"

In the news:

On this day...

February 11: Latin day
  • 477 - Lorem Ipsum, dolor sit amet,
  • 530 - Consectetuer adipiscing elit.
  • 844 - Suspendisse commodo magna.
  • 917 - Fusce fermentum odio sed libero.
  • 1120 - Suspendisse auctor ornare libero.
  • 1285 - Phasellus non mauris nec nibh cursus vulputate.
  • 1346 - Curabitur fringilla metus sit amet eros.
  • 1417 - Aenean pretium,
  • 1508 - Mi vel pretium ultrices,
  • 1609 - Urna justo cursus nunc,
  • 1663 - Sed fringilla ligula sapien vel nulla.
  • 1776 - Rome is invaded by Barbarians, meaning you don't have to learn what this means.
  • 1873 - Some idiot decides that you should learn it anyway, and Latin classes are created.
  • 1917 - In Russia Sovietica te Latina discet.
  • 1920 - "Forma papillarum quam fuit apta premit" is translated for the first time by a 13 year old. Sniggering is invented.
  • 1944 - Omesay idiotay illskay ethay astlay idiotay anday ecidesday atthat ouyay ouldshay earnlay Igpay Atlinlay insteaday.
  • 1975 - Vae victus!
  • 1989 - Carpe abdominum, caveat nauseum, jetsam creamius cornium. Ecch.
  • 2006 - Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habet octo colles.
  • 2007 - The Latin-Canadian war ends.Canada is the victor.
  • 2008 - Futue te ipsum et caballerum tuum
  • 2009 - E Pluribus Unum

Today's featured picture

Helloapocalypse

"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Marco Rubio sip.jpg

Marco Rubio (pictured) | Slovakia | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U. | HowTo:Survive a terrorist attack | Pornography (rw) | Mesopotamia (rw) | Kilogram | Missing socks | The Communist Manifesto | Community | Teen Titans Go! | State of the Union address (rw) | Catching Fire | National Fascist Party (from Inciclopedia) | Chris Christie | HowTo:Dine at a fancy restaurant | Eragon | Swearing (rw) | Miranda warning | Sam Harris | Northumberland | Edmund Hillary | Theater pest | Mad Max: Fury Road | Carly Fiorina | Normal distribution | Slavs | Tax (rw)


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,309 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>
Personal tools
projects