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Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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30,827 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power? Not much! That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power? Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power. I'd love to hear more about power! Of course you would!

Power is as old as the human race itself, the earliest humans had a great deal of power. It is often said that almost every single male human had power, wild ungovernable power! As humans spread across the globe their power began to diminish.Why?

The machinations of fate! Many lost touch with that, which they should have held dear, they believed that they could cope without power, some even argued that a lack of power was better. However, in Ancient Egypt the Pharaohs recognised power and sought to limit those amongst their populace who could possess it, while simultaneously seeking to contain and control their own power lest it be used for evil. It is widely accepted, by everyone who matters, that the Pharaoh's of Ancient Egypt wielded power more gracefully than any other civilisation to date, however this was not to last. Amenemhat III, the last ruler of the middle kingdom of Egypt scoffed at the idea of power and, despite the pleas of his closest advisers, many of whom tried to show him the advantages of having power, he attempted to rule without it.

It came as no surprise to anybody when the fields flooded, the harvest failed, the economy collapsed and the bedrock of Egyptian society crumbled. All because of power. The Ancient Greeks sought to reclaim power for the masses by insisting that everybody have power and their society flourished as a result. Hippocrates wielded great power, Aristotle arguably wielded even more and Socrates probably wielded the most. You stood out a mile in Ancient Greece without power, not to mention the fact you looked ridiculous. (more...)

Recently featured: Power - Sex scene

Yesterday's Featured Article - Sex scene

Sexscene1

Sex scenes in films is what it is all about really. Forget the rest of the movie, the special effects, fancy dialogue and the locations, what people really want to watch is vigorous, on-screen humping. Even in war movies or animation have subliminal sex splattered all over them. And I won't even bother talking about men stroking their guns in 'Thin Red Line' or super heroes running around in multi-coloured caps and condoms.

What we all want to know is 'are they really doing it?'. A sex scene can be found in a movie, book or television show. It may include explicit sex (as in pornography) or it may only be suggestive of "real" sex, however; as a rule, it is better sex than you have ever had - or ever likely to have. If you have had better sex than that which is depicted in the scene, it is most likely not a real sex scene - it is probably just something weird you get off on.

Sex scenes are often used to get underage minors to watch movies with an "R" rating. Often, the two (or more) people in a sex scene don't like each other, but are just doing it because they are paid to moan and wriggle when a fat slob in a director's chair tells them to. And if it is a real pornographic film, that ugly bloke you always see? - yes that's the producer getting his money shots..but that is more sex obscene.

Film makers are not dumb. They know sex scenes in movies increase profits by up to 7 billion percent but really, when was the last you had sex and said: "Wow! This is just like the movies..."

Yeah, thought so.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Dogs, featured on 25 January 2014. See the featured version.
UnNews:Man marries brown rice, featured on 25 January 2013. See the featured version.
Plant, featured on 25 January 2012. See the featured version.
Slime Cube, featured on 25 January 2011. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Officers and Espionage, featured on 25 January 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Winnerloser
  • ...that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (pictured)
  • ...that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
  • ...that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ...that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ...that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?

In the news

On this day...

Seacrest-out

BOI-OI-OIIIING!!!

January 25: Januarymas - Happy Januarymas everyone!, Winter-een-mas begins

  • 1754 - Oscar Wilde's first stupid idea.
  • 1759 - Robert Burns decides to celebrate Januarymas. Thousands of Scotch get drunk off product of same name.
  • 1994 - Last airplane crash caused by Oscar Wilde.
  • 1990 - Magic Leprechaun starts accumulating knowledge.
  • 1992 - Steve Ballmer begins his wrath upon all.
  • 2005 - Carson Daly beats the crap out of Dick Clark in the middle of Times Square. ABC, frantic, quickly replaces Clark with noted gaydar Ryan Seacrest, and Ryan Seacrest's "Dick Clark's January's Rockin' Mas" is a modest hit with target audiences. No word on Brian Dunkleman, though.
  • 2008 - Ryan Seacrest finally comes out of his closet after 2 years of looking for that stylish Versace waistcoat.
  • 2015 -The Canadians attack the newly established Baby Seal military base just outside Toronto.
  • 2101 - "For græt justice!" becomes a catch phrase.
  • 2103 - It is discovered that Heath ledger faked his death and went to live with elvis presley, he dies for real today.

Today's featured picture

Muslim Sisterhood Chess pieces

The world changes. So does chess.

Image Credit: Ye Blacke Adder
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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