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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em 2em; color:#000;">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</div>
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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 12:53, May 19, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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Today's Featured Article - UnNews:U.S. corners Palestine rubble futures market

GazaWater1

SAFED, Palestine - U.S. President Barack Obama signed an agreement with Palestinean President Mahmoud Abbas today to trade in the processing of the region's urban rubble, having failed to reach any agreement to stop creating it.

The so-called Trans-Palestinian Partnership will gradually phase out tariffs, duties, inspections, and the role of the U.S. Congress in the movement of Grade A broken concrete blocks across national boundaries.

It was non-alcoholic beverages and mild gratitude to Allah as Mr. Abbas and Mr. Obama publically declared that a Palestine/US economic future "is buried firmly in the trenchant rubble that plagues our streets."

In a candid interview on Israel TV, Mr. Obama said he has thrown in the towel on a peace agreement between Israel and a Palestinian state, as he could hardly get his head around the Wikipedia entry, let alone reason with Abbas. Mr. Obama said at least all parties were better off with a financial agreement in the raw-materials sector.

The employment rate in Palestine also increased by 0.6%, as tens of Palestinians rushed to join the President's new "Palestinian Rubble Liberation Union (PRLU)". At the same time, a "Fatah Debris and General Workers Union" was formed to protect the PRLU Union members from the PRLU, and a "Hamas Union of Fragments" to protect the already established Islamic Rubble Movement. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnNews:Montrealer fed up with strikers dismembers one, featured on 3 July 2012. See the featured version.
Inbox, featured on 3 July 2011. See the featured version.
UnTunes:Stalker, featured on 3 July 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Facesofmc
  • ...that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (pictured)
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ...that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ...that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
  • ...that there is no other word for thesaurus?
  • ...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ...that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.

In the news

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July 3: International Hot Pocket Day

Today's featured picture

SexualPredator

"El cazador que hace trofeos de los hombres" - the demon who makes trophies of men.

Image Credit: Mhaille
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,093 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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