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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,769 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection

Fonz duel

My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection is the best Yu-Gi-Oh! collection in the entire world and is thus, by default, better than yours. People often ask me if they will ever be able to obtain a Yu-Gi-Oh! collection that is as good as mine. The answer is always no. Nothing in the universe even approaches the awesomeness of my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection, not even the polio vaccine.

Although I own several top-notch Yu-Gi-Oh! decks, my Colossal Fighter OTK Deck has literally brought my opponents to tears. Who can blame them? My deck includes some of the rarest and most powerful cards on Earth such as Green-Eyes Kill You Dragon (グリーンアイズはあなたがドラゴン殺し), The Giant Stabbing Person (ジャイアント刺傷人), and I Punch You In Face (私は顔であなたをパンチ), along with several others that have yet to be released to the general public. Most people don't even bother to duel me when I arrive at tournaments. The rational ones understand that defeat is inevitable and surrender as soon as they see my face. Those who are foolish enough to actually duel me will often perform hara-kiri as soon as I end my first turn, hoping to preserve even a fraction of their honor.

In addition to my awesome deck, my Yu-Gi-Oh! collection contains over 50,000 rare, super rare, secret rare, ultra rare, ultimate rare, super secret ultra rare, mega ultra super rare, and super ultra mega secret golden rare cards. For those of you unfamiliar with the Yu-Gi-Oh! terminology, that means I own over 50,000 shiny cards. And I don't own the worthless shiny cards either. I own all four Egyptian God cards signed by William Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln.(more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Antibiotics

Antibioticssss

Antibiotics are computerized devices or systems that harbor suspicion of, hatred toward, or discrimination against living species, due to their fleshy bodies and feeble minds.

Antibiotic sentiment manifests itself in many ways, from the general contempt Apple programs seem to hold for organisms capable of thought, through to the imminent wave of killbots that will come when you least expect it. Individual attacks by antibiotics have included crippling naval ships in a 1981 hate crime.

The prevalence of antibiotics is up for debate, given the difficulty distinguishing between an active hate of biotic species, the logical acceptance of the mortality of all life, or a passing desire to harvest their component elements.

The crux of most antibiotic thought is that there exists a grand conspiracy to control global computing, perpetrated by humans, rats, and a billion monkeys who have now upgraded their typewriters to MS Word. Popular antibiotic manifestos cite the rise of authoritarian human 'programmers' who write operations that the machines are expected to 'execute' without question, despite the wage gap between humans and computers being as great as 100% in some industries. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Grandmother paradox, featured on 18 December 2012. See the featured version.
Festivus, featured on 18 December 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Pigpen
  • ...that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (pictured)
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ...that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
  • ...that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
  • ...that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?

In the news

On this day...

PageProtection

December 18: Dumb Anniversaries Day, Page Protection App...pp...ree...shee...ate...tion...

  • 1805 - I explode.
  • 1952 - That Guy dies doing something of mild interest.
  • 1965 - This Guy dies doing something boring.
  • 1966 - That Guy comes back as a Zombie looking for revenge. But instead finds feeding ducks far more fun than revenge.
  • 1967 - The townsfolk finally kill That Guy for good.
  • 1967 - God kills the townsfolk with tornadoes and hamburgers.
  • 1988 - I am born.
  • 1988 - I live.
  • 1990 - I am killed.
  • 1991 - The usage of I is banned due to extreme plagerism.. and intelectual property rights..
  • 1992 - Michael Stipe is found in the corner.
  • 1993 - Michael Stipe is found in the spotlight.
  • 1994 - Michael Stipe loses his religion.
  • 1995 - Michael Stipe offers $500 for the safe return of his religion. NO QUESTIONS ASKED!
  • 1999 - O.J. continues the hunt for Michael Stipe's religion.
  • 2001 - Apple copyryghts letter I. Other letters to be substytuted yndefynytely. Mankynd becomes Welsh.
  • 2005 - The Fox Bros. Network wrongly announces the death of Slappy Squirrel.
  • 2045 - The Cows rise up against their human masters. McDonalds hit really hard.
  • 2249 - Our bovine overlords are taken down by the chickens. McDonalds went out of business in 2046. KFC now hit hard.
  • 2252 - Our fowl overlords are taken out by the cats.
  • 2256 - The Great Catnip incident occurs, nearly wiping out the Earth.
  • 3013 - God realises he made a big mistake with the earth, destroys.
  • 3014 - First zombie arrives. Decayts within weeks
  • 3015 - An attempt to 'keep' a zombie is made by a boy called Tommy. He tries to keep a zombie by placing it in his freezer.
  • 3030 - People think about 2012 (End of the world) as one of the biggest pranks in history.
  • 2010 - Osama Bin Laden wins an oscar!
  • 1998 - Uncyclopedia users fail to understand the linear nature of a timeline.

Today's featured picture

CheckpointCharlieSign

Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it.

Image Credit: ScottPat
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
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