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Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,695 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - Town meeting

Faneuil Hall

Town meeting is the municipal legislature in many towns in New England. Town meeting has been called "the purest form of democracy," pure although none of the ingredients are refined. Students of the contaminated version called Congress can restore their faith by studying democracy at full "strength."

Democracy is the form of government where "the majority rules." Americans have historically been giddy about democracy, as they enjoy a system where fifty-percent-plus-one of the voters can have their way on propositions such as:

Recently featured: Town meeting - BioShock

Yesterday's Featured Article - BioShock

BioShock cover

BioShock is an award-winning, first-person shooter video game developed by Irrational and released by 2K Games in 2007. The game is set in the underwater city of Rapture in the 1960s. The player identifies with the protagonist, misunderstood perverted mass murderer ‘Jack’, a character based on the game's main developer, Ken Levine. It is widely regarded as one of the greatest games ever made due to its shocking content, adult themes and political satire, rivaling those sorts of shows that are only screened on HBO after the kids are meant to be in bed.

The game opens with the main protagonist Jack on the transatlantic red-eye flight to an unknown destination. A short clip shows Jack using an empty bag of Quavers in an odd way, followed by his plane crashing into the Atlantic Ocean, killing almost everyone.

Jack manages to survive the crash, and whilst swimming away from the flaming wreckage and bobbing decapitations, spots a darkened lighthouse standing inconspicuously in the middle of the ocean. Balls beginning to freeze, he quickly swims over to it and enters the front door to realise he’s inadvertently discovered the entrance to the hidden underwater city of Rapture. With no other plans in his diary for the day, he descends into Rapture and is immediately confronted with blabbering duo Andrew Ryan and Atlas The Sneaky Paddy. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Syria, featured on 24 September 2012. See the featured version.
Unfomercials:Bulimic Barbee, featured on 24 September 2010. See the featured version.
UnMysteries:The Mysterious Affair at the World War Two Convention, featured on 24 September 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Kilroy was here
  • ...that Kilroy was here? (pictured)
  • ...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins?
  • ...that Ben Stiller makes everything funny?
  • ...that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
  • ...that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
  • ...that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?

In the news

On this day...

Weasel Stomping Day

September 24: Mudkip Appreciation Day

  • 3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "Thert isi thaer no doG!"
  • 1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
  • 1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
  • 1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler gets into a hedge dispute with his Polish neighbour.
  • 1944 - France is liberated by the allied forces. Riots ensue.
  • 1960 - Chuck Norris hires a Vietnamese plumber. Vietnam is still recovering.
  • 1991 - Jesus found alive and well in a Manchester crackhouse
  • 1993 - Karl Marx personal diaries discovered, Marxism apparently was just a wind up to bug the Americans.
  • 2003 - George Bush declares war on Legoland
  • 2007 - The last day of Adventalo, the gathering of millions of nerds awaiting the coming of the chiefus christ
  • 2008 - War Veteran, Big Bird committed suicide after receiving hate mail for accidentally sinking china when he flushed the toilet
  • 2009 - All 8 followers of the new found religion Walmartism are sentenced to death after reports of attacks on rivalry gangs The "Food Lion Elite"
  • 2010 - United States of America takes over Japan Renaming it Coca Cola
  • 2022 - Michael Jackson sues himself for sexual assault and wins. He celebrates by sexually assaulting himself again.
  • 2342 - Somebody gets fired on their birthday from school.
  • 2351 - Walmart declares war on Islam. Millions die.

Today's featured picture

LandoftheJews

Land of the Jews, based on promo poster for George A. Romero's film Land of the Dead.

Image Credit: RabbiTechno
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