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{| style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
font-size: 125%; line-height: 1.3">Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Pirateopedia]] (formally '''HMS Uncyclopedia'''), the [[content-free|duty-free]] encyclopedia that [[Anonymous|pirates can edit]] Arghh!</p><br><p style="margin:0 0 0 3%;text-align:center;font-size:94%">[[Sophia|Davey Jones]] has inspired us to sink and pillage [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] ships since we set sail in January 2005.</p>
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''Before running out your guns, please read the [[Help:HowTo|ships charter]] and [[Flamewar Guidelines|the pirates code]] or you'll be [[Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol|Walking the Plank]].<br>If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then [[:Category:Ignorable policies|speak to polly]](sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)''
 
   
<h5>Buried Treasure: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|Bilge Rats]] | [[:Category:Games|Games]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|Marine Technology]] | [[:Category:People|Pirates]] | [[:Category:Quaint|Grog]] | [[:Category:Coherent|Coherent]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|Most Succesful Pirates]] | [[Special:Allpages|LLoyds List's]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Other Ships...]]</p> </h5>
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em 2em; color:#000;">Welcome to [[Uncyclopedia:About|Uncyclopedia]],</div>
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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,828 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?

Not much!

That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power?

Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.

I'd love to hear more about power!

Of course you would! (more...)

Recently featured: Power

Yesterday's Featured Article - Sex scene

Sexscene1

Sex scenes in films is what it is all about really. Forget the rest of the movie, the special effects, fancy dialogue and the locations, what people really want to watch is vigorous, on-screen humping. Even in war movies or animation have subliminal sex splattered all over them. And I won't even bother talking about men stroking their guns in 'Thin Red Line' or super heroes running around in multi-coloured caps and condoms.

What we all want to know is 'are they really doing it?'. A sex scene can be found in a movie, book or television show. It may include explicit sex (as in pornography) or it may only be suggestive of "real" sex, however; as a rule, it is better sex than you have ever had - or ever likely to have. If you have had better sex than that which is depicted in the scene, it is most likely not a real sex scene - it is probably just something weird you get off on.

Sex scenes are often used to get underage minors to watch movies with an "R" rating. Often, the two (or more) people in a sex scene don't like each other, but are just doing it because they are paid to moan and wriggle when a fat slob in a director's chair tells them to. And if it is a real pornographic film, that ugly bloke you always see? - yes that's the producer getting his money shots..but that is more sex obscene.

Film makers are not dumb. They know sex scenes in movies increase profits by up to 7 billion percent but really, when was the last you had sex and said: "Wow! This is just like the movies..."

Yeah, thought so.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnNews:Russia objects to Santa’s claim on North Pole, featured on 27 January 2014. See the featured version.
In what way is Snickers satisfying?, featured on 27 January 2013. See the featured version.
Student loan, featured on 27 January 2012. See the featured version.
UnNews:Post-structuralist engineer blamed for bridge disaster, featured on 27 January 2011. See the featured version.
The Godfather Part II, featured on 27 January 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Giraffe love
  • ...that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (pictured)
  • ...that Ben Stiller makes everything funny?
  • ...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
  • ...that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
  • ...that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
  • ...that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
  • ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
    • ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.

In the news

On this day...

January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day
American-crocodile-emerging-water

Today's featured picture

9-11

9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun.

Image Credit: FreeMorpheme
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show | Ido | Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,828 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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