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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 12:53, May 19, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,090 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - UnNews:U.S. corners Palestine rubble futures market

Mahmoud Abbas September 2014

SAFED, Palestine - U.S. President Barack Obama signed an agreement with Palestinean President Mahmoud Abbas today to trade in the processing of the region's urban rubble, having failed to reach any agreement to stop creating it.

The so-called Trans-Palestinian Partnership will gradually phase out tariffs, duties, inspections, and the role of the U.S. Congress in the movement of Grade A broken concrete blocks across national boundaries.

It was non-alcoholic beverages and mild gratitude to Allah as Mr. Abbas and Mr. Obama publically declared that a Palestine/US economic future "is buried firmly in the trenchant rubble that plagues our streets."

In a candid interview on Israel TV, Mr. Obama said he has thrown in the towel on a peace agreement between Israel and a Palestinian state, as he could hardly get his head around the Wikipedia entry, let alone reason with Abbas. Mr. Obama said at least all parties were better off with a financial agreement in the raw-materials sector.

The employment rate in Palestine also increased by 0.6%, as tens of Palestinians rushed to join the President's new "Palestinian Rubble Liberation Union (PRLU)". At the same time, a "Fatah Debris and General Workers Union" was formed to protect the PRLU Union members from the PRLU, and a "Hamas Union of Fragments" to protect the already established Islamic Rubble Movement. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnDebate:Shouldn't we discuss this like adults?, featured on 1 July 2014. See the featured version.
Invader Zim, featured on 1 July 2011. See the featured version.
UnNews:Obama doodles random shit, featured on 1 July 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Footballer pwned
  • ...that black people make otherwise boring sports more enjoyable to watch? (pictured)
  • ...that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ...that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
  • ...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ...that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ...that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?

In the news

On this day...

Dennisrodmantribute

July 1: Dennis Rodman Appreciation Day (in Canada), Canada Day (in most other countries).

  • 1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
  • 1867 - The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
  • 1890 - Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
  • 1933 - The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
  • 1970 - Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year.
  • 1980 - O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?
  • 2020 - The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces were withdrawn from the area.

Today's featured picture

Leonardo

Even as a child, Leonardo da Vinci showed a gift for art and anatomy.

Image Credit: Rei
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee | Comcast | Green Party (UK) | Lily Savage | Microsoft PowerPoint | Warranty | Unicode | Hillsdale College | Frank Miller | United Kingdom general election, 2015 | Sault Ste. Marie | Chuck E. Cheese's | Metadata | Mutant | Jamie Bryson | Darkhad | Arthur (show) (rw) | Fart rape | Tom Brady (rw) | New meat from the Surprise Me! Spring Festival: Ted Cruz | Box-spring | Chamber pot | Coming soon | First-past-the-post voting | Hurricane | Noble gases


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,090 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
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W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
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W17x11 16666
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W17x11 13518
Wiki it
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W17x11 10392
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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