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''[[Special:Listadmins|domizianogalia & T1m2 !]] just totally posted this stuff!:
 
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Latest revision as of 11:24, April 1, 2013

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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Today's Featured Article - UnScripts:Oedipus Rex Rides Again

Socrates2

Oedipus Rex Rides Again is a classical masterpiece that has inspired little discussion amongst those normally interested in such works. Written by Sophocles' sister, Sophoclesis, in 300 BC or shortly thereafter, the play has always been included in any remarkable library - yet strangely avoided. Since Uncyclopedia avoids nothing, the time has come to bring this magnificent piece of our cultural heritage to light.

Classical literature (as everyone knows) was born from a screaming need (circa 500 BC). Authors of the period simply had to write something, anything at all. They didn't bother with complicated plots or many-faceted characters. The main thing was to get literature going, and so they created a plethora of one-track-minded heroes hell-bent on destroying whatever happened to annoy them even slightly. Arguably, the Iliad, the Odyssey, and the Holy Bible are the best examples of classical literature to have survived the storms of the ages, the burning of libraries, the rampage of the Vandals, and other calamities the Fates so nonchalantly dealt our way.

To survive through centuries, a text has to be valid in any era. A good example is the chapters in the Bible that describe the building of a prayer tent. Another equally valuable piece of wisdom are the words Achilles aims at his friend Polycarbon: "Go to the mount Ida and seek the hermit living there, o friend, and ask him to gather parsley, sticks of sycamore, and a tusk of a wild boar, not older than five years, not younger than six. Tell him to mix these ingredients in a large cauldron and piss onto them. Let the dogs not drink the potion but store it in a dry, cool place." (more...)

Recently featured: Real Ale

Yesterday's Featured Article - Real Ale

Fatd01

Ahh..Real Ale. It's been the favourite tipple of the working man and anyone else who enjoys a refreshing, healthy drink that's full of flavour and goodness ever since it was invented by the Ancient Egyptians more than 6,000 years ago. Back in the days of the Pharaohs Real Ale was brewed from a mixture of sand, crushed dead beetles and cat's urine - the recipe has changed since then, of course - but not much!...Real Ale has the same delicious taste that has made it the most popular drink in the world ever since.

Real Ale forms part of the culture in many beer-drinking nations and has acquired various social traditions and associations, such as beer festivals and a rich pub culture involving activities such as pub crawling and pub games such as bar billiards and fighting.

The term Real Ale was invented during the 1970s when an organisation was created with the aims of protecting Britain's time-honoured tradition of brewing and drinking the types of beer henceforth known as Real Ale - since the late 1950s, people had increasingly been turning their backs on Real Ale and instead drinking much more unreal ale, which is also called nothing, and worst of all lager which has no flavour and is only suitable for homosexuals and girls. To be classified as a Real Ale, a beer must be "brewed from traditional ingredients, matured by secondary fermentation in the container from which it is dispensed." Like Germany's Rheinheitsgebot beer purity law, this can be seen as quite restrictive - however, anybody who knows anything about the history of beer can tell you that, over the millennia, it has been brewed from all sorts of things. In addition to common ingredients such as wheat and barley, beer has also been made at various times from wood, pine martins, pebbles, toad's breath, cheese and old car tyres; so just about anything can be considered a 'traditional' ingredient...(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Fire hydrant, featured on 4 October 2006. See the featured version.Fire hydrant, featured on {{{date}}}. See the featured version.
Bohemian Grove, featured on 24 July 2011. See the featured version.
Marilyn Monroe, featured on 24 July 2010. See the featured version.
Uncyclopedia Madness, featured on 24 July 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Ku-klux-klan
  • ...that the Southern United States is well-known for its "southern hospitality"? (pictured)
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
  • ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?

In the news

On this day...

Moron

July 24: Pioneer Day (Utah), Polygamy Week Begins (Also Utah)

  • 1132 - Battle of Nocera between Ranulf II of Alife and Roger II of Sicily takes place in Italy. Ranulf's fettucine narrowly bests Roger's linguine, and Italy adopts fettucine as the National Stereotypical Food.
  • 1487: Citizens of Leeuwarden, Netherlands, unsatisfied with watered-down domestics, rebel against a ban on foreign beer.
  • 1947 - Brigham Young and all his merry wives arrive in Utah to establish Mormonism, and in doing so guaranteed that even the ugliest son of a bitch (pictured) can have multiple mates.
  • 1983 - Hacker Richard M. Stallman launches the GNU project, an effort to protect the endangered gnu, a buffalo-like animal, from extinction using mainly open-source code.
  • 2000 - While on the Presidential campaign trail, George W. Bush reads a helpful guide to living lifethat helps him on his way to the Oval Office.
  • 2008 - The Dark Knight is released, becoming an instant box-office smash hit, and reaching the all-time pinnacle for film for all history.
  • 2009 - I like the fact that you're reading the anniversaries right now. I really, really do.

Today's featured picture

Pontius pilot

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image Credit: Savethemooses
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Recent Articles

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