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Latest revision as of 19:03, August 21, 2014

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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Today's Featured Article - Muslim Sisterhood

Muslim Sisterhood Flag

The Chamber of Muslim Sisters, usually referred to as the Muslim Sisterhood is the female division of the group ISIS. The primary objective of the Sisterhood is to make everything that it comes into contact with halal and then redistribute it to the Western World. However, it also serves to provide places of refuge from American drones. The Sisterhood was inspired on 6 June 2006 when several ISIS members named Mohamed simultaneously found their children all wearing burqas; as such, they could not tell apart their sons and their daughters. Together, they exclaimed "Praise Allah the true One! For if we men wear burqas instead of balaclavas, then NATO and Americans won't strike us anymore!" Since then, more than 300 Sisterhood chambers have been erected throughout Iraq and Syria, with the entry requirement of wearing a burqa. As such, none have ever been the target of Western forces, which is much safer than any of the United Nations operated 'schools' along the Gaza Strip. However, rather than sitting around and doing nothing, the people inside the chambers are hard at work halalifying things all day, devoting their hours to the cause of Islam.

The main activity conducted by the Sisterhood is the rectification of media deemed not suitable under Islamic standards. These processes are conducted in chambers whose structures are best described as being like the human digestive system; the materials to be tested enter the front of the building, then pass through 1.6 km of rigorous examination and editing by members of the Sisterhood, and are finally expelled from the rear as 'certified halal' (more...)

Recently featured: Samsung - Solar flares

Yesterday's Featured Article - Samsung

Samsungrange

Samsung is a Korean manufacturer of smartphones, phablets[2] and tablets, that people are compelled to buy once every six months, without fail. Otherwise they will stare down the gauntlet of ridicule and social ruin for having a portable device with a gigantic screen that can disappointingly only be read from the Moon, compared to the new model, which has an even more gigantic screen that can be read from the outer planets and further.

The modern corporation is a secretive family-owned conglomerate and, like all secretive family-owned conglomerates famed for their work on the big screen, it also has interests in the chemicals and shipping industries to complement its manufacturing credentials. Curiously, Samsung is yet to put a finger in the bolt-cutter and Robert DeNiro industries, though.

Samsung is also one of the world's most prolific innovators in the IT sphere, and the leading employer of engineers and scientists with degrees on "big", PhDs on "shiny" and Nobel Prizes for "screen". They've pioneered such innovations as the touch screen, the integration of the Android OS, and a new generation of semiconductor that makes hair and fingernails fall out. However the R&D team has never quite mastered the most profitable addition to an electronic product; the Apple logo.. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Donald Trump, featured on 27 November 2012. See the featured version.
UnNews:Justin Bieber eats a sandwich, featured on 27 November 2011. See the featured version.
Egyptian Gods, featured on 27 November 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Shoved into stove

In the news

On this day...

Alan Beanie Baby

November 27: Alan Bean celebration day (the 4th man on the moon)

  • 1000000 BC - Food invented.
  • 999999 BC - The first feast to celebrate food is held.
  • 999999 BC - First indigestion victim recorded. More soon to follow.
  • 999999 BC- Oscar Wilde invents fat people
  • 999998 BC - First recorded case of Anorexia.
  • 999998 BC - The second feast to celebrate food is held.
  • 999997 BC - The third feast ends in tragedy due to a lack of food. It is decided that all other feasts will be with babies
  • 999996 BC - Babies are eaten for the fourth feast
  • 999980 BC - Thus ends the civilization of the baby eaters
  • 1009 BC - First recorded case of anime-character-fangirlism.
  • 1095 - Pope Urban II launches the First Crusade, thus starting the Indiana Jones film franchise.
  • 1895 - Alfred Nobel fails to win the Nobel Prize, in spite of the fact that it's named after him. The following year however, he does go on to win the lesser-known Alfred Prize.
  • 2012 - The civilization of the baby eaters rises from the dead and eats all babies.
  • 2012 - Babies go extinct.
  • 2015 - Mutant babies are spawned and go on a revenge killing spree, millions dead in days for "Making up for Lost Time"

Today's featured picture

Dong covering

Due to the fragile nature of the small coins, its is often necessary to cover the dong for protection.

Image Credit: Sonje
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