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* Bienvenue à [[fr:|l'Uncyclopédia suisse]], l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. [[Sophia]] a établi [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les [[Help:HowTo|directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre]] et le [[Flamewar Guidelines|manuel de neutralité]]!
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Latest revision as of 11:24, April 1, 2013

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,618 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - UnScripts:Oedipus Rex Rides Again

OedipusKing2

Oedipus Rex Rides Again is a classical masterpiece that has inspired little discussion amongst those normally interested in such works. Written by Sophocles' sister, Sophoclesis, in 300 BC or shortly thereafter, the play has always been included in any remarkable library - yet strangely avoided. Since Uncyclopedia avoids nothing, the time has come to bring this magnificent piece of our cultural heritage to light.

Classical literature (as everyone knows) was born from a screaming need (circa 500 BC). Authors of the period simply had to write something, anything at all. They didn't bother with complicated plots or many-faceted characters. The main thing was to get literature going, and so they created a plethora of one-track-minded heroes hell-bent on destroying whatever happened to annoy them even slightly. Arguably, the Iliad, the Odyssey, and the Holy Bible are the best examples of classical literature to have survived the storms of the ages, the burning of libraries, the rampage of the Vandals, and other calamities the Fates so nonchalantly dealt our way.

To survive through centuries, a text has to be valid in any era. A good example is the chapters in the Bible that describe the building of a prayer tent. Another equally valuable piece of wisdom are the words Achilles aims at his friend Polycarbon: "Go to the mount Ida and seek the hermit living there, o friend, and ask him to gather parsley, sticks of sycamore, and a tusk of a wild boar, not older than five years, not younger than six. Tell him to mix these ingredients in a large cauldron and piss onto them. Let the dogs not drink the potion but store it in a dry, cool place." (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Real Ale

Fatd01

Ahh..Real Ale. It's been the favourite tipple of the working man and anyone else who enjoys a refreshing, healthy drink that's full of flavour and goodness ever since it was invented by the Ancient Egyptians more than 6,000 years ago. Back in the days of the Pharaohs Real Ale was brewed from a mixture of sand, crushed dead beetles and cat's urine - the recipe has changed since then, of course - but not much!...Real Ale has the same delicious taste that has made it the most popular drink in the world ever since.

Real Ale forms part of the culture in many beer-drinking nations and has acquired various social traditions and associations, such as beer festivals and a rich pub culture involving activities such as pub crawling and pub games such as bar billiards and fighting.

The term Real Ale was invented during the 1970s when an organisation was created with the aims of protecting Britain's time-honoured tradition of brewing and drinking the types of beer henceforth known as Real Ale - since the late 1950s, people had increasingly been turning their backs on Real Ale and instead drinking much more unreal ale, which is also called nothing, and worst of all lager which has no flavour and is only suitable for homosexuals and girls. To be classified as a Real Ale, a beer must be "brewed from traditional ingredients, matured by secondary fermentation in the container from which it is dispensed." Like Germany's Rheinheitsgebot beer purity law, this can be seen as quite restrictive - however, anybody who knows anything about the history of beer can tell you that, over the millennia, it has been brewed from all sorts of things. In addition to common ingredients such as wheat and barley, beer has also been made at various times from wood, pine martins, pebbles, toad's breath, cheese and old car tyres; so just about anything can be considered a 'traditional' ingredient...(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Sania Mirza, featured on 22 August 2008. See the featured version.Sania Mirza, featured on {{{date}}}. See the featured version.
It's Not You, It's Me, featured on 28 July 2011. See the featured version.
Cracker Barrel, featured on 28 July 2010. See the featured version.
Stone the Israeli Tank, featured on 28 July 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Adrian Bors
  • ...that Olipro is a cannibal? (pictured)
  • ...that Alexander isn't really that Great?
  • ...that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ...that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ...that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
  • ...that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?

In the news

On this day...

Chocolate

July 28: National Fondue and Chocolate Day (Switzerland) (pictured)

  • 1020 - Swiss man Arkov Chenbort accidentally drops chocolate into vat of fondue. Entire village enjoys snack.
  • 1439 - A continent-wide fondue shortage in Europe causes citizens to whine, moan, complain, and otherwise be unhappy.
  • 1794 - Robespierre is sent to the guillotine for declaring white chocolate the Chocolate of the Revolution...and for thinking July could be renamed Thermedor.
  • 1956 - The first video game is introduced, allowing the player to move a dot to one of two locations on a projected screen using punch cards. Legendary gamer AAA makes his debut, setting the all-time high score of 13, which stands to this day.
  • 1972 - On a trip to Vietnam, Jane Fondue is captured in a photograph that caused chocolate sales to soar, at least to her for a while.
  • 1999 - After widespread internet rumors concerning chocolate shortages are proven to be false, many of the instigators are banned from the internet.
  • 2007 - Bashing one's head against a brick wall is officially substitued for fondue and chocolate in some of the poorer areas of the world.

Today's featured picture

Jarhead3

A WWI-era Jarhead recruiting poster helped to bring many new recruits into the beloved US Marine Corps.

Image Credit: One-eyed_Jack
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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