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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an [[special]] clan of [[Clinjas|funny peolple in Jim-Jams]].
 

Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,171 articles in English

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Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Platinum, featured on 31 August 2013. See the featured version.
Quebec City, featured on 31 August 2012. See the featured version.
Mini-golf, featured on 31 August 2011. See the featured version.
Terry Gilliam, featured on 31 August 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Santa plane
  • ...that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (pictured)
  • ...that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ...that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ...that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?

In the news:

On this day...

Daeg Rob Tyler

August 31: Anniversary of Rob Zombie's first Halloween

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BNP rally.

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This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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