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Latest revision as of 11:24, April 1, 2013

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
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Today's Featured Article - F4

F4 is one of the more notorious keys of the keyboard. F4 is actually a contraction of the original spelling "ffff", which was first used in 1982 century by the great programmer Ffffrancis Ffffiddleton, so that he could contract his name when writing it out on his computer. Since then, F4 has taken on many other uses and functions however to this day, the default setting of F4 is to type out four fs.

Linguistically, ffff is known as a sustained unvoiced labiodental fricative with an aspirated termination. The sound is not unlike that of someone slashing your bike tires or speaking through a hole in one's throat.

To produce the purest ffff sound, however, have a friend start saying "ffffffffff", then when they get to the third f, jab them in the stomach, not too hard but not too pansy-like. You will be richly rewarded with a superbly intonated ffff. This is great fun at parties.

The F4 key is a key found on most keyboards in between the F3 and the F5 key and most often above the number 4 key though sometimes a little to the left. On some keyboards the F4 key is actually the number 4 key with F4 in blue in the bottom right corner in a much smaller font than the F4 key. It can only be pressed if you hold down the blue FN key. There is no F4 key on typewriters as typewriters cannot carry out functions. (more...)

Recently featured: F4 - Napoleonic Wars

Yesterday's Featured Article - Napoleonic Wars

The Napoleonic Wars were a series of conflicts that swirled around a cross Corsican named Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon was too short to be a king but barely tall enough for the title of Emperor, a rank sufficient to accomplish the longstanding French dream — creation of a unified Europe run not entirely by the Germans. Waging this war let him plant his flag — and seed — in every country he crossed. As a result, everyone in Europe loves France and there are many short people in villages throughout the continent.

During the conflict, the French were supported by many diverse countries, such as Spain, up to the very moment that France invaded them. They were opposed by shifting coalitions of Britain, Austria, Russia, and Prussia. Britain's UKIP maintains the fight against Napoleon even today.

At the beginning, Napoleon extended his empire everywhere on the continent that did not matter to Britain and Russia. This was not successful in making the Russians and British capitulate. He then invaded Russia, which did not work either. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope, featured on 13 July 2013. See the featured version.
Ask Jeeves, featured on 13 July 2012. See the featured version.
George Carlin, featured on 13 July 2011. See the featured version.
Animal Suicide, featured on 13 July 2010. See the featured version.
UnNews:The God Interview, featured on 13 July 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (pictured)
  • ...that compromise is a great diplomatic tool?
    • ...although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ...that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ...that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?

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