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{{FA|date=1 April 2008|revision=2907173|hidden=unlike your mom from a mile away}}

Latest revision as of 16:27, August 9, 2015

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,173 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Platinum, featured on 31 August 2013. See the featured version.
Quebec City, featured on 31 August 2012. See the featured version.
Mini-golf, featured on 31 August 2011. See the featured version.
Terry Gilliam, featured on 31 August 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Fleagorth the awesome
  • ...that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (pictured)
  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ...that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ...that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?

In the news:

On this day...

Daeg Rob Tyler

August 31: Anniversary of Rob Zombie's first Halloween

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Deadfunnytomb

The Tomb of the Unknown Uncyclopedian.

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Recent Articles

Ares | Jeremy Corbyn | SQL | Coca-Cola Classic | Sex change | FEMA | Bristol International Balloon Fiesta‎‎ | Ponytail | Atonality | Hercules | The Angry Video Game Nerd | Timur the Lame | Wasp | Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher | Colloquialism | Suit | Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee | Comcast | Green Party (UK) | Lily Savage | Microsoft PowerPoint | Warranty | Unicode | Hillsdale College | Frank Miller | United Kingdom general election, 2015 | Sault Ste. Marie | Metadata


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,173 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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