Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Reverted edit(s) of ChiefjusticeDS (talk) to last version by Electrified mocha chinchilla)
(trimming the fat that hasn't been updated in two months)
Line 103: Line 103:
   
 
-------------------- Start of Awards etc ------------------------------ -->
 
-------------------- Start of Awards etc ------------------------------ -->
{| width="100%" class="MainPageBG" style="margin-top: .5em; padding: .5em; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;" |
+
{| width="100%" class="MainPageBG" style="margin-top: .5em; padding: .5em; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;"
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#F2F2CE;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Writer, Noob, and Uncyclopedian of the Month</h2>
 
 
|-
 
|-
|{{MonthlyAwards}}
 
 
{{Vote Reminder}}
 
{{Vote Reminder}}
 
|}
 
|}

Revision as of 11:06, December 10, 2012

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
30,970 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Featured Article - Project Gemini

Gemtraining3

Project Gemini was NASA’s second space program, between the Mercury and Apollo missions. With the Apollo program behind schedule, NASA needed something to do between 1961 and 1966, after which everyone would be watching the soccer World Cup. The Gemini spacecraft carried two astronauts to different parts of the solar system and one crew into an alternative universe. The program put the United States ahead of the Soviet Union in the Cold War Space Race.

Gemini’s mission was to iron out various space-travel and personnel issues, in preparation for the goal set by President Kennedy to land people on the moon and return them safely to Earth. Project Gemini managed to complete the first part of that goal, just leaving Apollo to figure out how to return the astronauts safely to Earth. Other minor objectives were medical experiments, navigation, rendezvous, explosive yield, docking, EVA and orbital maneuvering techniques.

The Gemini capsule was launched on top of a Titan II inter-continental ballistic missile, the first to be fired from Cape Canaveral. The first four manned launches expanded the envelope from sub orbital ICBM to orbital spacecraft. Project Gemini was also the first to use mission control in Houston. (more...)

Recently featured: Project Gemini

Yesterday's Featured Article - I'm not a racist, but...

Gingrich

I'm not a racist, but... has long been considered one of the most powerful clichés in the English language. It has the power to define people, cultures, and determine some of the most powerful philosophies that the world has ever seen.

It is generally used in an argumentative situation, to make a point that could potentially be otherwise taken in a negative concept. Similar examples are "I'm not a sexist, but I don't feel women deserve equal pay when they are only truly useful 26 out of 29 days." The statement is often a precursor to "petitio principi" (Latin for "It is because I said so").

In modern society there is an aversion to making a statement that may be considered as politically incorrect. This disarming preface has become a cliche due to it's usefulness in stating what may be unpleasant or not politically correct. This statement is referred to by linguists as a "but-head" statement.

To truly understand the strength of this statement the individual words must be taken into consideration:

  • "I'm" or "I am" is the first part of the phrase. It defines the speaker as an individual. Often used in philosophy to show the existence of things. Descartes said "I think, therefore I am". Here Descartes both defines himself as a thinking individual, and as an individual. In the phrase in question though the speaker defines themselves as a non-thinking individual, and therefore negates his own existence even as he asserts it.
  • "Not" immediately after the definition of self and the subsequent denial of existence, the speaker uses a negative. In Boolean Algebra, and all mathematical logic, the term "not" immediately reverses the meaning of everything going into it. So by defining themselves as a thinking/non-thinking existent/non-existant individual, they immediately negate it in total, and thereby make themselves into a non-individual. This can be viewed similarly to a member of a mob, who becomes no longer an individual within their own right, but simply a part of a greater whole. And in much the same way as a mob's intelligence as a whole is that of its least intelligent member, the speaker again shows the lowest possible calculation of intelligence. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured The Andy Griffith Show, featured on 6 May 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Our Great Leader Kim Jong-un brings even more prosperity to us glorious North Koreans, featured on 6 May 2012. See the featured version.
HowTo:Frighten small children, featured on 6 May 2011. See the featured version.
UnNews:Things that have been done to Christians but would never be done to Muslims show sharp year on year increase, featured on 6 May 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Nariz
  • ...that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (pictured)
  • ...that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ...that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
  • ...that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ...that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

In the news

On this day...

No pants day

May 6: No Pants Day (observed)

  • 1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Rennaisance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke.
  • 1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
  • 1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranetes makes the first use of pie charts in known literature.
  • 1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill.
  • 1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also pass the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot.
  • 2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby.
  • 2010 - The general election is held in the UK. Everyone loses.
  • 2012 - American Jerry Bauhauser becomes the first man to cross the Atlantic in a Badonkadonk.

Today's featured picture

Muslim Sisterhood Chess pieces

The world changes. So does chess.

Image Credit: Ye Blacke Adder
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Whey | Granny Smith | Katie Hopkins | Audiophile | Tofurkey | Debug (film) | Jelly beans | Scurvy | Selfie stick | Al Stewart | Ð | Miniaturization | Magazine | Turtle | Pyramid scheme | Joseph Kony | Metroid (species) | Project Gemini | Liberal Party of Australia (rw) | Hand of God | Speed Racer (rw) | Temporal paradox (rw) | UnBooks:Suffer the Little Children | She Blinded Me with Science | New meat from the writing competition: Supply-side Jesus | NBC | ENIAC | Raphael | Horace | Renewable energy | One Thousand and One Nights | Rembrandt


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,970 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>
Personal tools
projects