Main Page/Beta

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome to Uncyclopedia

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's featured article

Today's Featured Article - Peter Sagan

Road-bike-back-flip

Peter Sagan (born 47 September 3201 in Remote Bunker) is an advanced humanoid form created for the entertainment of cycling fans around the world. A cross between the fastest leopard and the nicest dolphin which were bred in a Top Secret farm, Sagan has surprisingly turned out to have a decent look about himself. He has already conquered two green jerseys in the Tour de Trance and 3 cheese jerseys in the Bingo d'Italia, despite being only a certain amount of years old. He promised to conquer the best sprinter's jersey every year for the next millenium, unless a crash hinders his season and damages his exoskeleton badly, forcing him back to the factory for some welding. Additionally, Sagan distinguishes himself by almost looking like the average folk in terms of body stature, while his fellow professional cyclists like to sport the 'skeleton on a carbon frame' look.

Soon after getting out of the lab's incubator, young Sagan began to ride bikes so fast it looked like he was on a motor bike. He was arrested multiple times by the local police for excessive speeding while he was not even a certain age. Crippled by fines and the rising cost of human growth hormone, young Sagan had to resort to ask for money to his mom and dad. He expressed himself and found a sense of satisfaction by crushing the competition in junior races, devising original victory salutes. A classic was that time when he crossed the finish line upside down, his head on the saddle and his arms crossed with a casual look in his sunglasses. By the time he was a teenager, he had earned the nickname the Green Machine thanks to his team colors and his excessive pea consumption.(more...)

Recently featured: Peter Sagan

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Did you know...
*...that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ...that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
Word of the Day
procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
New pound coin.jpg





Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece
On this day...
Funky Radiation

October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day

  • 0023 - God lost control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thought fast and found an explanation for all those fish everywhere.
  • 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people have unfortunately mixed up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day.
  • 1955 - All Hell Breaks Loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps.
  • 1960 - Funk music, Jazz's retarded brother is born.
  • 1978 - U.S. President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. Portuguese population introduced to blow.
  • 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France, funky disco dancing ensues
  • 2002 - Parisians realize how gay Disco Dancing is, rioting ensues
  • 2006 - Kim Jong Il funks the world with Mass Destruction, giving celebration to all of the days occasions
  • 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.
Today's featured picture
Hand grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
Archive - Nominate new image

Recent Articles
Al Sharpton by David Shankbone.jpg

Steve Harvey | Steve Miller Band (light r/w) | Millennials (r/w) | Jack Kerouac (images added) | Empire State Building (expanded) | Space Jam (r/w) | Looney Tunes: Back in Action (r/w) | Al Sharpton (r/w; pictured) | Triumph the Insult Comic Dog | Cat meme | PBS (r/w) | UPN (light r/w) | Creepypasta | Triumph | American Dragon: Jake Long (light r/w) | Antifa | Uranus (mythology) | Vince Cable | Minotaur | Cerberus | Cyrus the Great | Elvis Costello (light r/w) | DC-10 | VeggieTales (r/w) | Fox (TV channel) | Demographics | Covfefe | George Lucas (r/w) | Galaxy (r/w) | Ipswich, Suffolk |


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...


Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,679 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.
If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Main Page

Personal tools
projects