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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Evil laboratory

Yesterday's Featured Article - Evil laboratory

DoctorFrankenstein01

An evil laboratory is a laboratory dedicated largely or entirely to evil science. Evil science is a distinct discipline in its own right, though it is usually not recognized as legitimate by other fields, and thus is practiced in specialized buildings by people who majored in it. However, it is rare for colleges and universities to offer majors in the subject, so evil laboratories have a hard time finding prospective employees with the appropriate qualifications. To make up for this, they often hire people from other branches of science or unwitting college students looking for a summer job.

It is sometimes argued that all laboratories are evil because science is bad, but this is a misconception. Only evil science is evil; other forms of it are simply amoral. Evil science is theorized to be an offshoot of omnidisciplinary science, another rare field.

Evil laboratories are sometimes called "evil labs" for short, but this can also refer to evil Labrador Retrievers, which are a different phenomenon entirely. (more...)
Did you know...
*... the White House is really off-white?
  • ... air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
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procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
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On this day...
Goji1

July 16: International Turning Japanese Day (America, 1980s)

  • 1812 - Neils Bohr lays out the first Table of the Elements, containing less than half of the elements known today, but including most of the important ones such as Linoleum and Kryptonite.
  • 1862 - American Civil War: David Farragut becomes the first United States Navy rear admiral, becoming the butt end of 'rear admiral' jokes for decades.
  • 1945 - The Age of Large, Mutated Reptiles begins (pictured) when the United States successfully detonates a nuclear weapon, unleashing gigantic horrors upon the world (mostly Japan).
  • 1972 - The Time Cubicle Theory is first developed. The lead theorist was certainly not on any sort of brutally mind-bending narcotics.
  • 1994 - Disney releases the animated movie The Lion King despite accusations of plagiarism of the Japanese animated movie Emperor Lion/ Kimba the White Lion. Disney lawyers assert that Lion King is about a young lion whose parents are killed and is advised by a baboon, while Emperor/ Kimba is about a young lion whose parents are killed and is advised by a baboon.
  • 1994 - Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 collides with Jupiter and is sentenced to twenty space-years of probation for reckless endangerment and orbiting without a license.
  • 2002 - My dissertation on Modern Advances in Mathematical Theory suitably impresses the brunette in the fifth row, and we retire to the library for a cozy study session and a quick bout of intercourse.
  • 2012 - Lionsgate releases the dystopian movie Hunger Games despite charges of plagiarism of the Japanese dystopian movie Battle Royale (2000). US film industry lawyers note that Hunger Games is about a violent last-man-standing competition between students while Battle Royale is about the same thing, pretty much, with an identical plot, except US judges haven't seen the latter film and are pretty much a bunch of racists anyway.
Today's featured picture
Hand grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
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Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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