In the sport of baseball, a massive rulebook delivers the high level of boredom that fans and players expect. The principle underlying the Official Baseball Rules is that no one on the field should do anything until everyone is completely ready.
Fans used to say lovingly that "there are no clocks in baseball," especially fans who stopped punching theirs two decades ago, but now there are several. Having extended commercial breaks from 30 seconds to 3 minutes (6 minutes in the playoffs), Major League Baseball at the 2006 winter meetings set out to "speed up the game" with new demands on the players. The pitcher must now pitch promptly after receiving the ball, unless there are baserunners or other excuses to justify stalling. Prima donna players who bask in fan adulation for longer than the commercial break can be fined and psychoanalysed.
On a ball hit into the air, runners must return to their bases and wait for the ball to be caught. During this wait, one of very many in baseball, the runner can ask the opposing infielder for a loan, maybe ten or twenty bucks; you know, just enough to tide him over until payday; or for the loan of his comb, since running the bases does tend to make you look scruffy and this is hardly the image you want to present to the television audience. Once the ball is caught, the runner may be able to take the next base. (more...)
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...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
...that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?
February 1: International [Insert holiday here] day
24398 BC- First fat kid falls down flight of stairs.
1500 AD - Caveman invents the kayak
1501 AD - Caveman invents the bus
1931-Boris Yeltsin born; his mother has a vodka drink while he is still in the womb, thus born drunk.
*<nowiki>[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert a year from 0-43 AD here] - [Insert overdone Jesus joke here]
A Peruvian Boeing 737 crashes in the Andes - killing 123 people. pwned by mountains ;[
[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert date that doesn't follow the given order at all] - [Insert sexual innuendo with[insert name here] and [insert name here] along with an event that defies logic]
[Insert year here] - [Insert overdone European reference here]
[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert completely random date here] - [Insert absurd event here]
[Insert year here] - [Insert event that takes place in Paris here] - [Insert sentence containing 'Rioting' here]
[Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
[Insert year here] - [Insert denial of event here]
2006 - James Blunt admits he was fed helium as a child and recommends it too the youth of today
20X6 - Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking me for a challenge?!?!
[Insert A.D. 2101 here] - [Insert tired, pointless All Your Base reference here]
[Insert date absurdly far into the future here] - [Insert joke about robot overlords here]
[Insert (absurdly large number times two absurdly large numbers)AD here] - [Insert worn out and over used joke about a clone of your mother and me here].
