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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured:

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Yesterday's Featured Article - Bureaucracy

Irelandbureau

Bureaucracy "No rest for the wicked," they say. Today had been the worst day of my life: my girlfriend had killed herself and stipulated in her suicide note that she was my long lost sister, with a PS that I should get tested for AIDS. Then I had gone to the clinic to get tested, and though I had come up negative, the doctor told me that they had accidentally used a dirty needle to take the blood sample, giving me a promotional brochure featuring many different medications that I would promptly have the privilege of choosing to fit my lifestyle.

Going for the Poo Lit Surprise Best Image with this one. In the shade of her voluminous pirate hat, the receptionist glared at me like just one of the many other personal insults that she had to put up with daily. "Hi," I began. "Uh, the vending machine swallowed my coin."

"Arr, it does that."

"Can you refund me please?"

"Flavoured Carbonated Glucose Solution Supply & Affairs department, 13th floor."

"What? 13th floor? Can't you just give me the money?"

"ARR, do ye be wanting to mess with this shit‽" she said with a threatening interrobang, narrowing her non-patched eye.

I backed off a step. "I didn't mean any offense, ma'am."

"Flavoured Carbonated Glucose Solution Supply & Affairs department, 13th floor."(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Jane Marple, featured on 22 August 2013. See the featured version.

Did you know...

TDF portrait
  • ...that I'm coming to get you? (pictured)
  • ...that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
  • ...that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
    • ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?

In the news:

On this day...

August 22: Obvious Day (24-hour period to celebrate the recognition of things which are readily apparent)
CaptObviousTitanic
  • 1492 - First encounter between Native Americans and Europeans. "I think these guys are up to no good," the local shaman remarks after being promptly shot.
  • 1717 - Spanish troops land on Sardinia. Having forgotten the can opener, they promptly leave.
  • 1939 - The Third Reich and the Nazis continue their march across Europe. This is bad.
  • 1940 - As the Germans invade Belgium in WWII, some guy thought "This seems somehow familar."
  • 1945 - Nazis defeated. This is good.
  • 1948 - Jewish state of Israel founded in the predominantly Arab Middle East. This will later cause problems.
  • 1966 - Captain Obvious is born. Doctor proclaims, "It's a boy," because the child has a penis.
  • 1973 - Brutal, murderous dictator Augusto Pinochet takes control over Chile. "I bet the CIA is helping this guy," says a random intellectual just before being abducted by a group of soldiers.
  • 2001 - Like we didn't see it coming. What the fuck.
  • 2003 - People realize that George W. Bush is an idiot.
  • 2012 - People actually acknowledge that the Titanic was in fact not unsinkable

Today's featured picture

Chainsawcharge

Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war.

Image Credit: Asahatter
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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Minotaur | Cerberus | Cyrus the Great | Elvis Costello (light r/w) | DC-10 | VeggieTales (r/w) | Fox (TV channel) | Demographics | Covfefe (pictured) | George Lucas (r/w) | Galaxy (r/w) | Ipswich, Suffolk | Walt Disney (r/w) | Soylent (meal replacement) | Costa Coffee | John Brown (r/w) | Napoleon II | Emmanuel Macron | Scientist (r/w) |


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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
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