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Today's Featured Article -

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Yesterday's Featured Article - Trump Tower

Trump Tower 3
The Trump Tower is the Manhattan headquarters of the Trump Organization and home of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, who lives with wife Melanoma in the penthouse bachelor pad. Though only the 64th tallest building in New York City, it is far better than all the others, so much better, you're going to see just how much better. It essentially is taller than all the rest. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Symphony in Z Minor, featured on 20 January 2013. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Sdsad
  • ...that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (pictured)
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...the muffin man?
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
  • ...that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?

In the news:

On this day...

January 20: Nobody edit Uncyclopedia Day Or Else
Too-fuckin-good

Why do I get my Hopes up?

  • 1492 - Columbus becomes president of America.
  • 1937 - The 20th Amendment is passed, forcing all presidental candidates to compete in a 100-meter dash to decide the primaries. Surprisingly, Franklin D. Roosevelt is the first president to win this event.
  • 1942 - The Nazi Party gives the final solution to the "Jewish question", though the Jews insist that they were just asking for directions.
  • 1984 - Armies of Oceania defeat Eurasian armies in the Congo.
  • 1988 - Everybody ignored this holiday.
  • 1992 - Governer Bill Clinton beats Paul Tsongas in the primaries. Investigations as to whether or not Clinton bit part of Tsongas's ear off in the final stretch are launched.
  • 2004 - Pinky and the Brain finally take over the world, and are then killed by Joe Cartoon in a blender.
  • 2007 - People are still intent on ignoring this holiday.
  • 2008 - No-one has edited Uncyclopedia! Until I just did. Oh shit.
  • 2009 - International Change Day. Citizens of the 'Homeless Undead'-ridden Californian cities get a day of reprieve from demands for change as the masses of change-hungry 'Zombos' are distracted by a change of power in Washington
  • 2010 - Some n00b edits Uncyclopedia.
  • 2300 - after leaving earth after 2012, humans finally get to the only safe planet, uranis.
  • 2301 - finally people decide to wipe uranis clean of those mean little stinky brown blobs.

Today's featured picture

Kendoddstrangefruit(pale)

Official album sleeve of Ken Dodd's classic Strange Fruit LP from 1939 has been digitally coloured for the pleasure of one's optical jellies.

Image Credit: Sir Mac Boswell
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

GoofySinger.jpg

Peter Singer (pictured) | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) | The Rock-afire Explosion | Pat Buchanan | Radiohead | Trump Tower | Arthur C. Clarke (r/w) | Revolutionary Girl Utena | Neu! | Rick Perry | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w) | Jimmy Neutron (r/w) | Coin (r/w) | Vegan food | Count Dooku (r/w) | HowTo:Help the Green Party | Impressionism | Millennials | Georges Danton


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