Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie.
Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)
...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
666 - Shiva tells the people of India that they will die if they do not enlarge their manhood and reproduce, thus becoming one of the largest populations. Vishnu and Brahma get a cheap thrill out of watching the sex.
785 - King Arthur's vision of the Holy Grail is accompanied by the words "Grail! This can be yours FREE!"
999 - Amid predictions of the Apocalypse, European peasants receive anonymous notes offering "hot deals on ultra-sexy self-flagellation gear."
1791 - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart chokes on his dentures during a live performance. Antonio Salieri frantically tries to dislodge them from Mozart's throat using his clarinet but only succeeds in driving them in further. Mozart dies as a result. "I feel awful" Salieri is quoted as saying.
1793 - Joseph Marie Jacquard is taught weaving by a super-intelligent tapeworm named Steve.
1929 - Baurhaus designs the new age spam only to have plans delayed by 60 years.