Today's Featured Article - Ad hominem
Ad hominem (derived from Latin; or Ad-ay ominem-Hay in Pig Latin) is an effective technique used to disprove the argument of a stupid person whose ill-conceived ideas are probably reminiscent of a troubled childhood. The opponent is attacked personally rather than responded to based on their daft ideals and even dafter hairstyle. In most cases the point that is attacked is irrelevant and has no reasoning behind it. Those who use ad hominem points to counter ad hominem points are just as silly and are only leading themselves down a route of more sin.
An example of an ad hominem argument is the debate surrounding gays. The gay sinners, who thanks to their high pitched voice can barely be detected by normal human ears, when presenting their argument put forward the point that people who hate gays only hate gays because they're white and vote for the BNP. The gays who mentioned this point all went to states school and learnt geography so are, unfortunately, completely incapable of understanding how stupid their point was.
Abusive ad hominem arguments involve a petty use of verbal or physical violence against the opponent because the opponent is mentally ill and only has one arm and so can't hold up a substantive argument. Verbal abuse can involve comedic lampoons of the opposition with statements such as "You smell", "You're a loser" and "Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker the Honourable Gentleman owns less than me. Pray shut him up my good man." (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Cafeteria food
Cafeteria food is a term used to describe anything served at school cafeterias as a substitute for actual food. Although the term is usually used to describe carbs and sugar, other items available at the cafeteria, such as sporks and napkins, also are considered cafeteria food and are usually safer to eat. Recently, cafeteria food was rated #3 on Time Magazine's 2011 List of Unhealthiest Foods, just behind molten lead with whipped cream and nuclear waste à la mode.
Meatloaf is made up of 12% meat, 78% loaf, and 10% other. It is generally served either British style (in which it is covered in a thick, brown gravy), American style (in which it is covered in bacon and cheese), or Italian style (in which it is covered in ketchup). Most meatloaf contains a mixture of pork, beef, and chicken, though turkey, badger, squirrel, possum, kitten, and gerbil may also be present. Despite being flavored with E. coli, cafeteria meatloaf has more of a "Mad Cow Disease" taste according to a recent poll among high school students aged 14-18.
Sloppy joes consist of yesterday's meatloaf after it is thrown into a blender and plopped on a bun. Since nobody eats the meatloaf anyway, sloppy joes provide a second lunch with enough servings for everyone. Any uneaten sloppy joes are formed into a loaf shape and baked, creating meatloaf once again. This cycle can continue for weeks or until the health inspector arrives and closes the cafeteria.
Did you know...
- ...that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (pictured)
- ...that a broken clock is correct twice a day?
- ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ...that a broken clock is correct twice a day?
- ...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ...that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
- ...that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
In the news
On this day...
October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day
- 0023 - God lost control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thought fast and found an explanation for all those fish everywhere.
- 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people have unfortunately mixed up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day.
- 1955 - All Hell Breaks Loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps.
- 1960 - Funk music, Jazz's retarded brother is born.
- 1978 - U.S. President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. Portuguese population introduced to blow.
- 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France, funky disco dancing ensues
- 2002 - Parisians realize how gay Disco Dancing is, rioting ensues
- 2006 - Kim Jong Il funks the world with Mass Destruction, giving celebration to all of the days occasions
- 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.