IMPORTANT PIECE OF PAPER! DO NOT BLINDLY THROW AWAY BEFORE READING. Thank you for purchasing a free copy of Uncyclopedia to read in your web browser, courtesy of Uncyclopedia Inc.! We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed making it. To guarantee your complete satisfaction with our product, we have included a 1-year limited warranty, which covers your copy starting at the moment you loaded it in your tab. Read below for the full terms and conditions prior to using this product.
For the purposes of clarifying further sections in this document, our lawyers have conveniently decided to define the following terms. They could have been happy English majors employed to work on a reputable dictionary, but they instead had to fall back on a law career and can now only enjoy offering shorthand to making reading legalese a bit easier for lesser humans. Please take the time to read this section if you want any hope of understanding the rest, assuming you can remember all of this.
"Agreement" - This agreement. Hope that clears up any confusion before we proceed further.
"Limited Warranty Period" - The time span during which this Agreement is effective.
"You" - Take a wild guess. If you have multiple personality disorder, this Agreement applies equally to you, you, you, and you.
"Product" - The Uncyclopedia website, and all the hilarious articles it contains.
"Reseller" - Your ISP, whether it be Comcast or your neighbor's unsecured WiFi router.
"The Company" - Uncyclopedia Inc. and everyone who contributes to it.