FANDOM


The content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
32,162 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · Skin Choice · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured:

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 2.3.0 : Warning: No results.

Yesterday's Featured Article - The 9/11 Commission Report

911Truthers

We, at the illustrious 9/11 Commission Report panel, have a deep understanding about the concerns the citizens of the World obviously have regarding that fateful day in History. Furthermore, we believe that the official explanations we published in our doorstopper deserve to be simplified here so that even you lowly commoners can understand. We are very aware that numerous conspiracies have emerged in the last few years, so we'll also attempt to separate the wheat from the chaff. In other words, we, people appointed and paid extravagantly by the Administration to investigate, report and eventually expose said Administration will tell you nothing but the truth.

Two planes gratuitously highjacked by bearded guys flew right in the Towers after the passengers elected it was safer to remain idle and die in a horrendous crash than face the perils of trying to neutralize a couple of boxcutter equipped guys. It's also public domain that one of the terrorist was wielding crutches (he had an amputated leg) and another one kept the victims at bay thanks to a horrific Chucky doll. They politely asked the pilots to please hand them the commands and coach them a bit to begin with, while they inquired if the plane was equipped with an automatic or manual transmission. Unfortunately, not a single soul at NORAD noticed the planes changing trajectories on the radar because they were busy changing their Facebook status. Unlike the trigger happy FBI, they would never just murder a bunch of innocent people by firing into a hostage situation, particularly not in order to save a much larger number of innocent people.

The buildings were not brought down by explosives, which would happen to explain why the structures fell at the rate of gravity and why they were blown to dust. The janitors had been slacking on the job lately, that's all. The puffs of smoke that can be seen erupting from the Towers below the explosion line were caused by smokers grilling a last one just as the place crumbled. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured HowTo:Get super powers, featured on 9 October 2016. See the featured version.
Bee, featured on 9 October 2015. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Arson and Sterno
  • ... that Dutchmen and Dragons is a role-playing game where you can be a dude, a palindrome, a whizzer or other characters? ... and each character can have traits like awful good, neutered weevil or kaopectate? (pictured)
  • ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
  • ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
  • ... that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to foreplay?
  • ... that none of the links in this sentence have anything to do with it?
  • ... that the Mayan colander was a drain on its civilization?
  • ... that a tattoo made with a sledgehammer won't last as long as one made with a needle?

In the news:

On this day...

Ferrets

October 9: Weasel Day

  • 2349 BCE - The proto-badger, a distant relative of the weasel, goes extinct when Noah tosses the only surviving pair off the ark for stealing his yams.
  • 942 - Weasel stomping in invented in Anglo-Saxon England.
  • 1086 - The Domesday Book notes the average price of a stoat at 1 groat.
  • 1490 - Leonardo da Vinci paints Lady With an Ermine, the first mustelid pre-photobombing recorded in the West.
  • 1674 - Issac Newton discovers Weaselpudge. Nobody cares.
  • 1754 - It is alleged by some that on this supposed day, weasel words were probably invented or perhaps created.
  • 1862 - The Cheasel is invented.
  • 1872 - Rudolf Weasel changes his last name to Diesel. The rest is history.
  • 1881 - The Japanese Stomping Fish, which has nothing to do with weasels, is discovered.
  • 1899 - Pop Goes the Weasel is licensed for every jack-in-the-box toy. Small children drive their parents insane playing the tune, leading to the Second Boer War.
  • 1930 - Nazis adopt the Horst-Weasel song as their anthem.
  • 1937 - The Spleen weasel is discovered in Paris, France, without rioting for a welcome change.
  • 1938 - The Disney film Snow White is released in Europe with the song Weasel While You Work. Parisians take it personally and rioting ensues during the intermission.
  • 1940 - John Lennon is born, and promptly marries a weasel.
  • 1961 - Ferret racing is invented in Australia. It is not held where you think it might.
  • 2007 - A woman gives birth to a weasel. This will grow up to be the Antiweasel, signalling the end of the world. People will be forced to carry the mark of the Beast on their foreheads, which will be a weasel word, theoretically.

Today's featured picture

Waterloo Baron

The Red Baron causing havoc at the Battle of Waterloo

Image Credit: Under user
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Dwarf toss.jpg

Throwing things into canals (r/w, pictured) | Messerschmitt Bf-109 | Riverdance (expanded) | Jeff Sessions | John McCain | Absolute power | Michael Rosen | 11th century | A Very Special Article (rw) | Spanish in Argentina | Living Room | Zamenhof's Witnesses | Christy Turlington (rw) | Uncyclopedia paranormal activity | 1st century | OpenGeofiction | Deep State | Asteroids | Parrot | Hogs of War |







More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 32,162 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>