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Today's Featured Article - Next Year's Australian Grand Prix

After years of Ferrari-dominated tedium, the period from 2008-2011 saw significant rule changes for Formula 1 leading to some of the most interesting seasons ever. Formula 1 boss, Bernie "Bilbo" Ecclestone quickly realised the commercial possibilities of removing all rules. He proposed taking Formula 1 from its traditional race-circuit home and back onto the streets of the world. He also proposed extending the races from three hours to several days with each Grand Prix being a two stage, cross-country rally of a whole continent, thereby increasing the likelihood of overtaking and, coincidentally, potential advertising revenue.

Pit bosses across Formula 1 were outraged and within days the chief engineers of both Honda and Toyota had committed ritual suicide on Japanese Children's television, while Renault bosses had shrugged dismissively and Ferrari boss, Stefano Domenicali, complained that the changes were aimed at them. (More...)

Recently featured: Next Year's Australian Grand Prix - UnBooks:Tropic of Cancer - UnNews:Bomb bomb bomb – bomb bomb McCain - Reverse Holocaust - Super Mario Brothers - The Great Elephant Revolt of 2011

Archive – Vote for featured articles

Yesterday's Featured Article - UnBooks:Tropic of Cancer

Preface by George Orwell: We see in Henry Miller's novel a beautiful melody of hardcore, nasty sex and pointless existential drivel. Miller is such a rich creature revelling in a multitude of emotions dealing with sex and the need to buy it. He is also a man consumed by a desire to deride those around him, possibly because he is insecure. He also objectifies women, possibly because he's a man, or maybe bad engrams. Anyhow, that’s enough from me.

Chapter One: or something like that, Miller never bothered

I'm living at the Villa Borghese, I am watching Star Trek, I went out today to see if I could sponge some more food and money and maybe even find a bit of totty to keep me company. As I walked along some French street, filled with garbage, trash and Jews an immense feeling of horniness kicked in. (More...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

HowTo:Reenact History, featured on 19 May 2011. See the featured version.
Bob the Sperm, featured on 19 May 2010. See the featured version.
Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters, featured on 19 May 2009. See the featured version.
Battleship Potemkin, featured on 19 May 2008. See the featured version.
UnBooks:Diary of a Caveman, featured on 19 May 2007. See the featured version.

Did you know...

...that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (pictured)

...that you're not allowed to say Shalom in a bathroom (and this is true, I'm not being stupid for the hell of it) because Shalom is also one of the names of this big beardy dude who lives upstairs, who a lot of Hebrew speakers know, and many of them are a bit scared by him?

...that this factoid relating to Snopes has just been disproven by Snopes?
...that in Soviet Russia, people know when a joke has run its course?

...that many future Uncyclopedia editors were conceived at the 1846 Uncyclopedia Convention at Aurora, New York, including Oscar Wilde?
...that Jesus dies on page 681?
... that Gerrymandering is the

arcane and magical art of drawing

mystical boundaries over a land

to separate

their inhabitants into what are known as

congressional districts?"

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
California woman recovers from severe burns Man buys Kmart just to get rid of its "shoddy" merchandise "To the Moon for real this time!", says Obama (pictured) Bogus hooker sells sex in Mississippi Motorist hits moose, forgets collision Prison officials defend execution of wrong man Junior designer makes her own prom dress Gov. Jerry Brown pleads poverty World to hold joint anti-terror war games in Syria Elizabeth Warren destroys the universe. Blacks back Obama; say it's okay for him to be gay Obama mobbed at Clooney's gay gala Mother wins back semi-permanent custody of obese boy Bankers agree to forfeit their bonuses in return for baby souls Canada's new phunny munny UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
May 19: Do What You Were Supposed To Do On May 18th Day (Procrastinators) A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day 3141 BC - The world is invented, no-one notices. pi - Someone decides that really long numbers are cool but hard to write down. 1897 - "No longer is there such a thing as an imprisoned Oscar Wilde." -Oscar Wilde 1922 - The United States quota on immigration is repealed after Congress unanimously votes to force everyone on Earth to live in the United States. 1964 - JFK/manwhore was assassinated in a Ford 1971 - The Soviet Union's space program releases Mars 2, the sequel to the hit planet Mars. Due to budget cutbacks, Mars 2 has four holes in its center, and appears to be two dimensional. 1997 - Chunnel declares civil war, dividing into North Chunnel and South Chunnel. 1999 - Jar Jar Binks's lead role in the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace earns him much popularity. 2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently. 2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently. 2019 - Uncyclopedia suddenly doesn't suck View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

The Skin Flute, an instrument that many bohemians and crack-whores enjoy playing in their spare time, has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. Oftentimes, a skin flautist uses the instrument of another to play their masterpieces, for which they are either paid a substantial sum, given a follow-up performance, or neither. The practice of giving a skin flute to more than one person to play has led to the spread of many STDs - that is, skinflute transmitted diseases - and has thus also increased its cultural taboo.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
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Recent Articles

Writer, Noob, and Uncyclopedian of the Month

The dancing banana Shabidoo stepped up to the plate and joined all the other fruits to be honoured with Writer of the Month in April. He is the author of works like HowTo:Make Breakfast Dew (For Women), Ozone, Nothing is permanent and Mahjong. Shabido is a keen collaborator with others and an organiser of events, so perhaps we can see a future career path for this particular Uncyclopedian. Shabido is also a regular contributor to 'my two cents worth' style of forums (in a good way) and has yet to swap unbridled enthusiasm for world weary cynicism that is a mark of some of the veteran contributors to this site. Shine on Shabidoo until that banana stops dancing to the music of time...(as isn't it time you got off that computer and come and talk to the rest of your family?).

No longer is this 'Noob of the Month' but 'Noob of the Moment. We all have our moments, certainly in our later years. This April three Noobs are honoured. Now that there is no time limit on 'noobery', these three have been honoured this month.

First to get our notice was XDshempXD, a self described Mexican enduring life in the USA. What's more, XDShempXD is a woman, yes to all you short trousered wearers and code kiddies, a girl has come to your party! So behave now and wash your faces more often. XDshempXD (can we call you Shempy??) has been here since the middle of 2011 and has brought with her stories with a more more Latin American flavour. So now we have articles like UnBooks:Sexually suggestive songs by Roberto Carlos which confused me as I thought it was about an ex-Brazilian football player but is indeed someone closer to home for her. Our second Noob of the Moment is Alpha Quintesson. He has gravitated to what I like to call the 'sharp end' of Uncyclopedia, rooting out and alerting the dinosaur speedy admins here about some nasty little vandals trying to upset the organised, efficient work processes here. I hope he can also find time to write a bit more as well. Finally there is Mockingbird ST. What the ST stands remains a mystery... or no one has asked him as yet (probably the latter). It's a great user name all the same though perhaps some people may want to kill him for literary title reasons. I hope not, otherwise we would not have articles like Counting to potato to consider.

Like receiving a carriage clock, a ticket to the ballet or a new set of teeth, the monthly award for general all round usefulness is a recognition that this user is now reaching a pinnacle... or is that a Pinocchio of achievement. In April the community voted in favour of Funnybony. For those who don't know 'FB', he has been one of this site's most prolific of authors. His user page is almost groaning under the weight of his many works but something isn't so well known, FB is one of the most generous, and genuine guys here. FB likes to talk, work with other people and even if you don't vote in favour of one his works, FB remains a model of politeness. He is also a friend of Jeff Beck and was really there in the 1960s when music became the cultural phenomena of that decade. Funnybony doesn't need to be here, he could be sitting on a verandah drinking or meditating or both but instead he likes to write for fun. Uncyclopedia has certainly benefitted from his output. What more can I, or we, say about that. Now... Funnybony, do really want that clock...?

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

UnNews The news source on crack	Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia	Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper	Games Another way to waste time	HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks Content-free books	Unquotable Useless misquotes galore	Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry	UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues	UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice	UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck	UnCommons Broken media repository

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 29,439 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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