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Today's Featured Article - Uzbekistan

Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan

Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan, or just Ubeki for short, is a moderately sized country in the Middle East. Ubeki was discovered around 17 D.C.(During Christ) by Abdul-Mommar Mohammed-Ali-Mohed Alibaba III during times of religious conflict surrounding the wacky mishaps of Jesus's teen years. Ubeki slowly developed as a nation and converted to Islam upon its foundation. Ubeki was colonized by the British in the early 1800's. England ruled Ubeki unfairly with an iron fist until the 1957 when the Ubekian army kicked the Brits out. In the 60's, Ubeki slowly built a self-sufficient economy with its major exports being illicit Drugs such as LSD and other manufactured drugs. In the 70's Ubeki was a somewhat stable nation and coined the term, "A second world country", meaning a cross between third world and what America use to be. In the 80's, Ubeki went under many radical battles within for political control, during which the current mysterious unknown leader came into power. A common misconception about Ubeki is that it is a dictatorship, when really it is a cross between dictatorship and a democracy (a "dictocracy" or "dematorship"), as most of its people agree with its political decisions. (more...)

Recently featured: Uzbekistan

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Did you know...

Giraffe love
  • ...that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (pictured)
  • ...that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ...that a Phoenix|bird]] grew nearly 4% a year for forty years?
  • ...that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ...that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ...that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?

In the news:

On this day...

Obese

April 25: National Obesity Appreciation Day

  • 0 - The world's first April 25th was celebrated. Nostradamus predicts the world's first April 26th to occur a day later. He later predicts the birth of Jimbo Wales and the creation of Wikipedia, but no one believes him due to the idea of both being so stupid.
  • 908 - A horde of plus-sized Vikings raid the east coast of Britain and set up a new IKEA store.
  • 1301 - First known use of the phrase "I don't give a shit" thought to have been said somewhere around London, England.
  • 1607 - Dutch Commando Dykes led by Hans Solo destroy the anchored Spanish fleet.
  • 1847 - The last survivors of the Donner Party are out of the wilderness. Shortly after, the first McDonners resturant opens. First item on the menu: McRib.
  • 1862 - The worlds first battery operated fork is created; two million die during its first use.
  • 1859 - Ground is broken for the Suez Canal. Israelis and Egyptians immediately begin fighting over who owns the hole.
  • 1915 - Australians invade Turkey, only to piss off next year.
  • 1918 - Turks invade Australia, but have stayed permanantly to drive taxis.
  • 1921 - Fattest US president in history, William Howard Taft, eats a steak.
  • 1950 - The Michelin Man Ii born.
  • 1955 - The first McDonalds is opened.
  • 1956 - "Obesity" is a recognized health problem.
  • 1957 - Overweight Appreciation day is upgraded to Obesity Appreciation Day, whilst Overweight Appreciation Day changes to 25th December.
  • 1986 - First annual (and only) all-night Soviet Power Plant Workers' Tetris competition held.
  • 1990 - Astronauts deploying the Hubble Space Telescope drop it on the way out the door, knocking it slightly out of focus.
  • 2003 - The International Federation of Dentists cancel all appointments for the month of August, in protest that floss and tooth picks, are not bar-coded.

Today's featured picture

DogLabels

By popular demand, the National Pet Association has released a new guide for the best household chemicals to use for exploding your dog. Caveat Canem, indeed.

Image Credit: MoneySign
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