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Today's Featured Article - Tales of an Emo

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My cosmos is so much more relevant than yours.

It lies, shattered.

Yesterday, the second-cutest girl in my bio class, Gretchen, finally realized I'm alive, which is, like, ironic. I've been staring at the back of her head for years, and fantasizing what it would be like to die with her. Or maybe it's only been a few weeks — I can't tell, sometimes weeks feel like years to me. I knew she was a beautiful, unique, tormented spirit, just like me, because her hair is the same shade of raven as mine, and she wears it combed across her head so that it all falls in a graceful arc just above her jaw. And there are tiny bulges under her shirt, which I'm pretty sure are nipple piercings. She passed me a note over the dead frog we were sharing, and for a heartbreakingly small moment, the darkness in my world melted. And then I opened the note and read it, and the darkness settled back like black rain falling on paper shards. It was a poem. It made me feel cold inside. Well, colder than usual. Even colder than the frog. I wanted to excuse myself from class, and then use my belt to hang myself from the second-floor staircase. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Frog Semen

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Frog Semen is a carbonated soft drink sold in stores, restaurants and vending machines worldwide (the Frog Semen Company claims that it is sold in over 200 countries). It is produced by the Frog Semen Incorporated in the rainforests of South America and is often referred to simply as Semen or (in European and American countries) as Frog Sperm or Amphibijizz. Originally intended as a practical joke when it was invented in the late 20th century by Sir Martin Frogg, Frog Semen escalated into so much more following its purchase and introduction to the worldwide market by Vomit Inducers Corporation, later known as Frog Semen Company.

The Frog Semen Company has, on occasion, introduced other cola drinks under the Frog Semen brand name. The most common of these is Diet Frog Semen, which has become a major dietetary semen product. However, others exist, including Caffeine-Free Frog Semen, Diet Frog Semen Caffeine-Free, Cherry Frog Semen, Frog Semen Zero, Vanilla Frog Semen and special editions with lemon and with lime and even with coffee. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png Elephant, featured on 13 February 2011. See the featured version.
Anne Hathaway, featured on 13 February 2010. See the featured version.
Elevator, featured on 13 February 2009. See the featured version.
EPIC FAIL!, featured on 13 February 2008. See the featured version.
You Are Dead, featured on 13 February 2007. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Mr bean baby.jpg
  • ...that Canada is ruled by a boy with supernatural powers (pause) of whom we are all very fond? (pictured)
  • ...that the South shall rise again, then go back to bed because its far too early in the morning to be up?
  • ...that YOU TOO will soon be able to solve the 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube?
  • ...that The Lord knows I am not a cruel man?
    • ...that I call my cat The Lord?
  • ...that in only 10120 years' time, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE?!
  • ... that Joe Biden's teleprompter contains slightly fewer words than this sentence?
  • ... that Seigenthaler was himself assassinated on live TV in 1964 but made a special pact with Satan to preserve his living body, at the cost of his soul? Satan found his soul too small and stringy to be nutritious, and threw it in the garbage bin where it was never found.

In the news

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On this day...

February 13: Simple English for Republicans Day

Today's featured picture

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Production photos from the next Jurassic Park film, starring Tyra Banks, have been released. Ebert has already given it 5 stars.

Image Credit: Imrealized
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau Nikau. Nikau?


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Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed Jonny appleseed.


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