Doncaster is an exclave in the North of England. It holds the unique position of being the only Scottish settlement whose inhabitants will not get to vote in Alex Salmond's Doon-wi'-th'-sassenach poll in 2014.
Situated on a Roman road, the area was a convenient place for the barbarians to settle once the Romans got bored and left the island. Naturally, the road attracted an ample supply of poultry, and the people could always follow it someplace else if their new home proved to be a dump.
Or so they thought. The Scots invaded without warning in the 1130's, but for unknown reasons decided to let the English administer things once again twenty years later, without ever officially giving the town up. Despite the uncharacteristically peaceful nature of the Scots' departure, the English built a wall around the place — just to be safe — and control all entry and exit points with gates.(more...)
The introduction joke is the premise of all good speeches, presentations, conferences and keynotes. Its role is multiple: it helps to relax the audience and increase its attention, also giving the impression that the guy who's going to talk for two hours is as funny as Groucho Marx, especially in a speech on Greekeconomic policy, eulogizing a statesman who just died, or announcing the nation's surrender to an occupying Army. The skeptical reader who is still not convinced may wish to review famous speeches from history and imagine the effect if the orator had not begun his speech with the introduction joke(more...)
10000 BC - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orentated musical instruments (ie the sexualin).
1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
1939 - Adolf Hitler invents oral sex and asks his enemies to blow him.
1942 - No people born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of "I don't feel like getting any ass today" in mid March.
The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.
