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Probability theory was developed by Gerolamo Cardano, Pierre de Fermat and Blaise Pascal. In this research team, there was no cooperation at all, because they all lived at different times and were too lazy to invent the time machine. So the development of this theory lasted for centuries and is (probably) not yet finished. Cardano et al. were all committed into mental hospitals late in their lives. What are the odds against that? It is not clear whether they were actually mentally disoriented, or merely seemed to be, because of answering simple yes-and-no questions by speculating about "the chances."
The reason for this theory — as mathematicians do things only on purpose — is unknown to humanity. But some think that these scientists had had enough of answering the questions exactly and decided that with the theory of probability it would be a way easier. But when they were told that they were not doing their job properly, to complicate the situation more, these mathematicians developed some incomprehensible formulas to prove the opposite.
The theory of probability should be used in several cases:
- When you don't want to give a direct answer to a question
- When you don't have an answer to a question but want to make people think that you do
- When you want to complicate everything you have said and make everyone confused
People who very often use the theory of probability are called politicians. (more...)
The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) is an independent U.S. government investigative agency responsible for civil and biological transportation accident investigation. In this role, the NTSB investigates and reports mainly on bird crashes.
It was established in 1967 after President Lyndon Johnson's beloved eagle suddenly crashed while on VFR over Vietnam for unknown reasons. The agency also begin investigating the crashes of flying Buses, Bowls, McDonalds, Bombards and Lockheads after President Reagan reclassified anything airborne as birds as a result of his own brain damage during the 1981 cyber-assassination. The board now also investigate cheetah collisions on the ground due to the fact that they don't have a braking system.
The current NTSB chairman is Deborah Herdsman, a veteran birdeodynamicist and bird-crash investigator who had over 30 years of experience herding rare flying ducks. The agency is based in Eagles Rocks!, California. It has nine regional bird-care centers around the country that provide interbreeding services, primarily for eagles, and runs a corpse removal unit in Ashburn, Virginia where dead birds from accidents are burned... (more...)
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 15: Feast of St. Kielbasa, patron saint of Polka
- 815 - Aqua Regia, the Royal Crown Cola discovered by Henry Cavendish. Stronger than the previously known most corrosive universal solvent, Coca-Cola.
- 1265 - Crispin Glover knighted. Leads crusade to defeat Emperor Pat Boone of Lower Angolia.
- 1352 - Due to a massive landslide in Eastern Mongolia, Hawaii moves in the general direction of New Zealand causing the issuance of a tsunami warning. Tectonic plate activity ensues causing widespread tsunamis and cannabis growth, much to the amusement of the Greens.
- 1512 - First Running of the Bulls held in el Chicago, Spain. Michael Jordan gores two unlucky fans and Dennis Rodman is destroyed after breaking a leg. Ernest Hemingway trampled in his ringside seat.
- 1852 - Former King of Wisconsin hands over his royal cheese crown over to the Rebel Cow Leader Jizabell, after the successful attempt to overthrow his kingdom.
- 1924 - The country of Foospance is discovered; people of Foospance rejoice.
- 1944 - German General von Allzenheimer tells a Soviet army to "please fuck off"
- 1976 - International Society of Procrastinators debate forming organization, decide to do it later.
- 1984 - The debate for the International Society of Procrastinators is postponed due to rain.
- 1991 - Some members of the International Society of Procrastinators plan to raise a complaint on the delay on forming organization.
- 1998 - The International Society of Procrastinators thinks about threatening those members who are thinking on criticize the Society.
- 2004 - The International Society of Procrastinators apparently disbands without ever being officially formed.
- 2006 - Several former members of the International Society of Procrastinators are founded still loitering in the hallway of the convention center where they thought the formation meeting was scheduled in 1998 -- appearently they showed up in 2002 and couldn't decide if they should leave.
- 2007 - George W. Bush oversees the production of Burger King's first Texas Double Whopper. Hershey's sues, claiming copyright violation over the name.
- 2008 - Recent tests prove that the remains of George Bush are capable of curing cancer, AIDS, the flu, hair loss, and low gas mileage. Once again, the country doesn't seem to mind.
- 3045- Scientists discover LeBron James frozen corpse under Lake Michigan; world peace declared.
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