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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Ferocious Flesh-Eating Feet

Yesterday's Featured Article - Ferocious Flesh-Eating Feet


Often confused with the bullfrog or the artichoke, the ferocious flesh-eating foot (Tyrannus carnopedi) is in fact a very rare and ferocious semi-arboreal organism that lives in stagnant pools of water. Unlike any other creature known on this Earth, the ferocious flesh-eating foot lacks not only eyes or ears but also a prehensile tail and X-ray vison from it's gallbladder. Nevertheless, this creature is exceedingly cunning and is quite capable of extreme acts of violence. Resembling most any other foot, it is virtually impossible to identify until it is too late.

The ferocious flesh-eating foot most closely resembles, quite ironically, a foot. Usually between size 10 and size 13 in size, some exceptional individuals have been known to attain a size 15 and a toe spread of over six inches. Approximately half of all ferocious flesh eating feet carry the dominant gene for hairiness and thus are hairy. The other half, with the recessive gene, is naturally clean-shaven. However, all flesh-eating feet have long, sticky toes used to snatch prey and transfer it to the large mouth which may contain up to 66 needle-like teeth. Very little is still known about the internal anatomy of the ferocious flesh-eating foot, and it is unknown just where the foot's food goes when swallowed.

The eggs of the ferocious flesh-eating food are layed in the sea, where they will drift in the pelagic currents for up to a year before making landfall on a beach somewhere, at which time the young hatch.

A larval flesh-eating foot most closely resembles a grain of salt or a newborn rat. The larvae is a master of stealth. It can sneak up on a zebra and kill it with a swift bite to the groin before the zebra wakes up. It doesn't eat zebras, however, so it has to move fast. If it does not find a meal within ten minutes of it's hatching, it will begin to die. Thus, the little, squeaky creature unfurls it's majestic violet tongue into a parachute and drifts placidly to the nearest cherry or plum tree. The foot then eats a single fruit or sometimes more than twelve. (more...)

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Did you know...

  • ...that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (pictured)
  • ...that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
    • ...that bears have been known to challenge for the role of Alaska's leader?
  • ...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ...that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ...that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?

In the news:

On this day...

AD&D Players Handbook

October 23: D&D Empowerment Day, a day to let go of your guilt and shame for having played Dungeons & Dragons as a child (or still), and instead reflect upon how it's changed you for the better.

“It says: With this strength or lower I can only be a Magic User. Re-roll!”
~ Oscar Wilde

  • 33 - Jesus creates D&D, the Romans crucify him for this and buries the game where it is found 1900 years later.
  • 1966 - International Federation of the Friendless is formed by Gary Gygax and other near-do-wells.
  • 1969 - While others are busy engaged in the Summer of Love, Gary Gygax and Friends are busy making their own chainmail armour out of plastic plumbing washers.
  • 1970 - Dave Arneson creates a scenario involving an adventure through a castle sewer, in quest of the legendary change room of maidens in waiting. Later arrested for being a peeping tom. Judge was unmoved by his plea that he was doing important game research.
  • 1971 - Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson team up to create "The Fantasy Game." Monsters are substituted for maidens, and mountains of loose change for changerooms.
  • 1974 - TSR publishes the now-renamed Dungeons & Dragons® game by slapping homemade labels over used cereal boxes. In one year, the entire hand-assembled print run of 1,000 games sells out.
  • 1979 - Ozzy Osbourne is chosen as official spokesman, eventually appearing in a commercial where he bites the head off of a Basilisk.
  • 1984 - You realise with horror that the phrase "Uncursed +1/+1 Dark Dwarven Mithril Battle-Axe of Staff Skill" no longer sounds completely ridiculous to you.
  • 1985 - Everyone starts referring to bottles of water as "Potions of Thirst Obviation" and dictionaries as "Tomes of Acquired Word Definition."
  • 2003 - The first woman to play D&D is later discovered to be a shemale .
  • 2005 - You catch your wife in bed with another man, but later discover she was just earning 50 experience points with a Helmet of Protection +6.
  • 2584 - First D&D player in history gets laid thanks to the lucky roll of a natural 20.
  • 3000 - Roughly 500 years after the first D&D player got laid his great, great, great, great grandson becomes Supream Dungeon Master of earth.
  • 5000 - the world's first jock plays D&D and becomes D&D master of the universe and all that are contained inside it after beating up Supream Dungeon Master of earth

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