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Today's Featured Article - Gul Dukat

Dukat

Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.

Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.

Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)

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  • ... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (pictured)
  • ... that Every Good Boy Does Floccinaucinihilipilification?
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ... that Richard the Lionheart of England had a "Richard the Lionheart" of his own?
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  • ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa

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On this day...

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June 17: Presidential Mullet Day, Bill Clinton Sex Definition Day

  • c.7000 BCE - First Intel PC domesticated.
  • 1707 - The Knig of Svïden celebrates his 25th birthday by hosting an 80s party. The music of Sir Henry Purcell hits the charts in Svïden, but Bach and Händel have no old music to rip off. Vivaldi expresses his hope that the Knig could hurry up and die.
  • 1878 - Mount Everest is built by Nepal to encourage tourism growth and annoy Tibet.
  • 1885 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor and agrees to stand the test of time.
  • 1969 - Godzilla defeats his Chinese nemesis, Maozilla.
  • 1970 - A child is born. Well done, you! And without a physician or midwife? Clever Dick!
  • 1972 - Christmas is ruined forever.
  • 1980 - For three minutes, regicide is all the rage.
  • 1982 - Star Wars Episode VII: The Phantom Boner hits retail stores as a straight-to-video release.
  • 1992 - Lieutenant Planet is promoted to Captain Planet.
  • 1993 - George Bush first discovers about world suffering. Also realizes the world doesn't revolve around him, everything revolves around the Earth.
  • 1994 - Homer "O.J." Simpson is chased down and arrested on suspicion of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ned Flanders.
  • 1994 - Judge Lance Ito becomes the most famous human being ever.
  • 1995 - Activists raid a waffle breeding facility and manage to set thousands of waffles bred in captivity free. Using waffles for clothing and drug paraphernalia will be banned in 1999.
  • 2001 - Millions agree that Special K ain't that special after all.
  • 2002 - Billions wonder what happened to the Regular K.
  • 2003 - Trillions get together on the interwebs and invent Super K.
  • 2004 - Willie Nelson finally gives up on the Rubik's cube.

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