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Today's Featured Article - Warranty

ReadingDoc

IMPORTANT PIECE OF PAPER! DO NOT BLINDLY THROW AWAY BEFORE READING. Thank you for purchasing a free copy of Uncyclopedia to read in your web browser, courtesy of Uncyclopedia Inc.! We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed making it. To guarantee your complete satisfaction with our product, we have included a 1-year limited warranty, which covers your copy starting at the moment you loaded it in your tab. Read below for the full terms and conditions prior to using this product.

For the purposes of clarifying further sections in this document, our lawyers have conveniently decided to define the following terms. They could have been happy English majors employed to work on a reputable dictionary, but they instead had to fall back on a law career and can now only enjoy offering shorthand to making reading legalese a bit easier for lesser humans. Please take the time to read this section if you want any hope of understanding the rest, assuming you can remember all of this.

  • "Agreement" - This agreement. Hope that clears up any confusion before we proceed further.
  • "Limited Warranty Period" - The time span during which this Agreement is effective.
  • "You" - Take a wild guess. If you have multiple personality disorder, this Agreement applies equally to you, you, you, and you.
  • "Product" - The Uncyclopedia website, and all the hilarious articles it contains.
  • "Reseller" - Your ISP, whether it be Comcast or your neighbor's unsecured WiFi router.
  • "The Company" - Uncyclopedia Inc. and everyone who contributes to it.

(more...)

Recently featured: Warranty

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured The Camera Obscura Collection of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602-1668), featured on 23 August 2014. See the featured version.
Twitter, featured on 23 August 2012. See the featured version.
The Wire, featured on 23 August 2011. See the featured version.
UnPoetia:Paradise Abridged, featured on 23 August 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Arse tickle
  • ...that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (pictured)
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
  • ...that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ...that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?

In the news:

On this day...

Agest 23: Mizspeeeling Dá
NASAenrty

Yoo'd thinke rockit siontists wud nowe howe two spel...

  • 1337 - Mispeelerz ariv in Inglend frum Russya.
  • 0 AD/BC - Eye thinck evreethin izz speltt write heer
  • 1691 - Emhliz iz inbentred.
  • 1914 - A HoOL BUCHN UF n00bers IZ KIL3D At T3H WWW!1!
  • 1700 - Mispeeelrz arriv n tha Untied Stapez frum Inglend
  • 1866 - Prusha defeeded Ostreea in the Ostro-Prushun Woar, and dizolvd the Jermun Confedurashun.
  • 1961 - AOL iz inbentred.
  • 1973 - Fcuk cpatalizes on avnat grad mispsellrs.
  • 1993 - Peter Cook abducted and killed by Space Otters
  • 1994 - Selpl Chk is invented
  • 1999 - Nustradumas's pradected yeer of tha ind uv tha wurld uv mispelllerz
  • 2006 - World famous threadboard /b/ got AIDs.
  • 2008 - Teh SpellCheck eez majde
  • 2010 - Howazaaaaaaaaaatt! Umprie reeplize "dat is gud"
  • 2026 - ZOMG!! Wurld Supliz ov Dikchunarees Ar deztroid, rezerektin misspllin!!elevn
  • End of time - weezall gon a dye!

Today's featured picture

Davidsketch

It wasn't until Michelangelo's parents gave him a "Etch-A-Sculpt" that he decided to become an artist.

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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