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Today's Featured Article

Today's Featured Article - The X-HEIRS

XHeirs1

In the study of a large mansion, a strange and silent man sits motioness, brooding... (more...)

Recently featured: The X-HEIRS

Yesterday's Featured Article - Gul Dukat

Dukat

Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.

Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.

Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)

On this day...
Kf26042

Go on, treat yourself. Have a real good snort.

June 24: Magic Marker Sniffing Day (Hebrides)

  • 1146 - Under General Akbar, the Sardinian Empire victoriously raids Argentina causing enormous fishy destruction.
  • 1374 - A sudden outbreak of Disco Fever causes people in the streets of Totentanz, Germany, to experience groovy hallucinations and begin to boogie and twitch uncontrollably until they all fall down.
  • 1664 - Hell starts to get full. New Jersey is founded.
  • 1733 - St. John's Harbour, the capital of the Sovereign Dominion of Newfoundland, is founded and named for the patron saint of ambulances.
  • 1740 - Dominion of Newfoundland first wave invasion fails because Saint John, New Brunswick smells too bad.
  • 1902 - Pablo Picasso opens the first exhibition of his work. His artwork is found to be so offensive to artistic standards that he is given loads of money, declared the greatest living artist, and told to make more.
  • 1912 - Québec takes the day off in celebration, not realising that the Newfies have five hundred septic tanks and, when they learn to drive them, will be invading.
  • 1936 - Al Gore invents evolution.
  • 1946 - Superboy discovers "strange hairs growing down... y'know"; officially becomes Superman.
  • 1957 - U.S. Supreme Court rules that free speech doesn't protect porn and expletives. South Park is cancelled overnight, while strangely, Playboy becomes more popular than ever.
  • 2010 - The Ant People push the world's reset button.
  • 2015 - Magic Marker Sniffing Day outlawed in the United States except South Carolina, due to the discovery that manufacturers have been including cocaine in special packs of pens.
Word of the Day
[[ antidisestablishmentarianism]]
Try to use it in conversation.
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Today's featured picture
CheckpointCharlieSign

Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it.

Image Credit: ScottPat
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Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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