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Today's Featured Article - The X-HEIRS

XHeirs1

In the study of a large mansion, a strange and silent man sits motioness, brooding... (more...)

Recently featured: The X-HEIRS

Yesterday's Featured Article - Gul Dukat

Dukat

Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.

Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.

Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)

Did ¥øu k∩øw...

*... that the speed of light is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person holding the stopwatch?
  • ... that due to the recent and highly successful reforms in education, grammar studies isn't need anymore?
  • ... that the speed of light is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person holding the stopwatch?
  • ... that due to the recent and highly successful reforms in education, grammar studies isn't need anymore?
  • ... that the speed of light is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person holding the stopwatch?

I∩ th∑ ∩∑ws

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Second Front Pages:

Ø∩ thi∫ da¥...

Redneckontoilet

June 25: National Redneck Day (Southern U.S.), LEON Day (6 months past Christmas); National Catfish Day (US)

  • 524 - Battle of Vezeronce. The Franks defeat the Burgers, and liberate the Ketchup Kingdom from its tyranny and confining round shape.
  • 1620 - Rednecks evolve from the Pilgrims.
  • 1741 - Maria Theresa of Austria is crowned King of Hungary in what is possibly the most confusing coronation in history.
  • 1838 - The first use of Escher-esque architecture is constructed when the Impossible Children's Playground is unveiled. It is not well-received.
  • 1888 - Oscar Wilde pens The Happy Prince and Other Stories, now considered among the first pieces of literature to use thinly veiled homosexual tendencies to illustrate life lessons such as hand-washing.
  • 1906 - Shortly after the introduction of the automobile, the first barrel clown is seen and documented in Jonestown, Illinois.
  • 1997 - The "underfried" volcano erupts in Montserrat. It would be sent back to the kitchen.
  • 1912 - LEON Day is established by Congress. Americans must have their Christmas decorations taken down by this day if their house has not already burned down. The law will be generally ignored by ignorant people claiming ignorance.
  • 1981 - LEON Day is now celebrated in China as the first day of making Christmas ornaments and nuclear weapons for export.
  • 2008 - U.S. President Barack Obama selects a cabinet, yet would require nearly two more weeks to settle on an acceptable bookshelf.
  • 2008 - Congress rejects Obama's choice of bookshelf.
  • 2009 - Michael Jackson dies while experimenting with a new form of moonwalk at the age of 50. His nose would have been 22.
  • 2010 - Catfishing online exceeds catfishing in a lake or river in popularity. Rules 29 and 30 are established but are ignored by ignorant people claiming horniness.

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Muslim Sisterhood Chess pieces

The world changes. So does chess.

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R∑c∑∩t ArticŁ∑∫

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9th century | Telepaths under the bed (pictured) | Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy (expansion) | Evil laboratory | CSS | HowTo:Properly open a door | Hatsune Miku | John Muir | Elon Musk | 10th century | Mel Gibson | Justa Grata Honoria | Ultimate Yahtzee (r/w) | Yahtzee (r/w) | HMHS Britannic | Mark Zuckerberg | Violet Jessop | Meghan Markle | James Comey | Rasberry Crazy Ant |





Møre r∑c∑∩t articŁ∑∫ | Mø∫t wa∩t∑∂ pag∑∫ | R∑qu∑∫t∑∂ r∑writ∑∫ | Add tø ∫tub∫ | Łø∩∑Ł¥ pag∑∫ | P∑∑ R∑√i∑w | Tr¥ writing abøut...

Writ∑r a∩d ∩øøb øf th∑ Mø∩th

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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