Magic mushroom
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“This one time, I ate mushrooms in college and said "excusez moi" to a chair. I also traveled through time, but I did not become a larger form of myself with an increased ability to evade death caused by contact with fireballs, turtle shells, or spikes.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Magic Mushrooms.
A brave Italian mushroom junkie swims across burning magma to get his next fix
Mushrooms are one of the three essential food groups. Mushrooms can be found in all manner of dung filled pastures and forests. Mushrooms are an excellent source of psilocybin and psilocin, and should be eaten regularly with an assortment of freshly grown leaves, maybe some cilantro or ayahuasca.
There are many types of magic mushroom popularly consumed for their fantastic taste, such as Colombian and Venezuelan mushrooms. Unlike mushrooms produced by these notoriously drug-free countries, mushrooms from Seattle can really mess with your kneecaps. The packet will tell you to take a certain amount on your first try; however you will consume double if you are not a wimp.
Distinct from both drugs and vitamins, magic mushrooms, also known as shrooms, are a large fungus of benign qualities that manifest themselves as a direct result of interaction with seratonin receptors located in the cerebellum. These receptors direct the flow of electricity to the area in which it is to be received, sound to ear, taste to tongue, et cetera. Under the influence of any hallucinogen, excluding ecstasy and ketamine, these receptors redirect the path of thought to stimulate other neurons that wouldn't be stimulated otherwise. Unexplanably, the thought, though augmented, always makes it to its destination. In other words, they make your spine bleed, they fry your brain, they eat holes in your squigly spooch, they lock in your joints forever, they force you to grow a reptile tail, they turn you into a serial rapist and murderer, and finally, they killed my pa.
==The Good Kind Of Shrooms==crack is better
Magical Mushrooms can be found in many places, from dead trees to cow shit, yes cow shit. If you've never innocently gnawed on the sawdustesque golden nugget of a mycelium inhabited cow patty, then you have no idea what youre missing! Moms and dads agree, it has just as much of the psilocybin and psilocin these kraaaaazy kids krave as the mature cap. The good kind of magic mushrooms have the following qualities: red skin with white spots, a ring of discoloration along the bottom, gills along the underside of the cap, a stocky muscular build, a bronze tone to the skin, delicious aroma, stimulating aesthetics, designer sunglasses, and at least a five inch penis. If a magic mushroom has a frowning mouth, it is a bad mushroom, and it is probably frowning to show people how bad it is. Smiling mushrooms can give the user super power, such as green mushroom resurrection. The most common type of good 'shroom is red, which is packed with ibotenic acid, muscimol, and knowledge. Believe it or not, this "red" shroom or Amanita Muscaria can be refined by passing throught the body. The knowledge can be redistributed up to six times before potency is greatly reduced. These mushrooms are also linked to prolonged sexual activity a.k.a. thinking about Meagan Fox from the Transformers movie. Why do you think Peach let Bowser capture her so many times? But the majority of shroomers experience heavy hard ons and can give a super sexual performance. Sure beats the shit out of Viagra. Smoke some weed after that and man, do you see the world in a different light/lights. The trip, some reckon, is equivalent to 10 years of constant meditation. This is backed by the lack of meditators who realize the government is out to get them.
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[edit] Where Do I Find The Good Kind Of Shrooms?
While some reports have attributed large colonies of magic mushrooms growing in bat guano, it is better to obtain mushrooms by banging your head against floating boxes with question marks on them, though the contents of these boxes vary. Anyhough they commonly contain stupid little coiny-thingys, hammers, or flowers that make you shoot fire from your anus, red and green varieties of magic mushrooms can sometimes be found. Shrooms can also often be found on the moon while looking for giant space cabbage. However, this method of locaiting shrooms can be deadly due to the unpredictable nature of the giant space cabbage.:indiff:[1]. crack is better
[edit] The Bad Kind Of Shrooms
The bad kind of shroom is very grumpy and will make you sick and die. Jump on their heads and they will die instead. Sometimes you can take their lunch money by repeatedly inserting your penis into it a.k.a. rape. Doing a barrel roll would also kill them, by making the mushroom's head melt. But, in certain situations, this does not work, like hippies. One of these would be if the "magic mushroom" has a box over it's head, during which the barrel roll will simply fail. The way to beat this box situation is to first remove the box, then feed the shroom lucky charms until it catches cholera from the so called "marshmallows."
Occasionally, a magic mushroom will explode from overindulgence and form a mushroom-like cloud, similar to a nuclear bomb detonation. For your personal safety, avoid any direct or indirect confrontation. But if confrontation is unavoidable, be prepcrack is betterared to tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
[edit] The BEST Kind of Shrooms
The BEST kind of mushrooms are psilocybin-containing because they make the world go stranger than those Windows Media Player visualizations.> They are known to allow buildings to breathe, cars to talk, and can even allow Reba to be funny. One time I ate some of these shrooms and it was like... whoa... I can see my hands...
crack is better The fairy circles encountered me suddenly. The fountainhead went into my brain, and i became Howard Roark. Mr. Black told me that red was really blue and that they lied to me. Adam saw a tee shirt moving, but I think he was lying. ESP is on those plates but that chico aint got it >:O >:O
[edit] Economic Effects on Today's Economy
Today there is a huge economy behind magic mushrooms. Certain companies collect smoke from burning mushrooms and sell it as drug (officially permitted by the UN). It is said that by inhaling the smoke, one meets the god of nuclear weapons with his longtime friend Cleamatonu (a former alumnus of the FSM). Evidence shows that they are both the originators of MGM (Magic Goa Music). Some, however, believe that this is a hoax and therefore try to persuade the UN to prohibit the sales of magic mushrooms and further research in the fields of radioactivity, because - according to them - the consumption of atomar smoke causes permanent damage to neurons located in the brain's PENIS gland, due to overproduction of dimethyltryptamine (DMT).
[edit] Legality
[edit] Mushroom Head
A mid-80s haircut that was extremely popular among mothers of young boys, like Elliot's mother in ET. It is also fairly popular among Engrish teachers in Japan.
Boy gets the mushroom hair cut:
[edit] See Also
 | Chicken Soup for the Eyes |
| Awesomesauce | Baby food | Beer nuggets | Big N' Tasty | Boogers | Butter | Caviar | Cheese | Chicken 2.0 | Corn | Cornbread | Cornflakes | Hammus | French bikinis | Fried Chicken | Fudge | Goa Tse | Hairy tacos | Hot Dog | Krispy Kreme | Meatloaf | Mushrooms | Mangos | Paint stripper | Penis | Pills | Pudding | Olive Garden | Orange sherbet | Rice Pudding | Rocky Mountain Oysters | Sauce | Spam | Taco Hell | Turd burgers |
