Mafia
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The Mafia, is the Italian Gangster word for Malta, a miniature collector's copy of Italy, which is the centre of all the world's crime. It currently consists of Malta and Sicily, but mainland Italy likes to get in on the threesome sometimes. The Vatican City, a currently fake version of Malta, also shows some Religious interest in joining with it some time in the future.
The mafia is thought to be a large group of raging homosexuals that love the shopping network and eating grass in the fields that their ancestors built they also love spending long hours talking about how they actually feel about the food they eat...Please note that this page is simply explaning the non-fiction myth of the "mafia". There is no mafia. I repeat, THERE IS NO MAFIA, and I never want to hear you talk about it again. Got that? Anyway for more info try contacting the psycho-dwarf.
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[edit] History
Origins of something dubbed as "Mafia" had been around since the dawn of time. When Henry Moore #6 said "Let there Be Light", the Good Old Boys were there to give him a boost to the light switch. They have been known for their exploits and deeds all throughout time and history. Back in the early 800's AD, the Good Old Boys were key players in the first, third and 8th crusades. They helped donate countless amounts of money to keep the quests alive.
The Mafia's possible existence ended in never at the hands of Dick. No one knows precisely how he did .this, but the most plausible explanation seems to be that he did not destroy the Mafia by crashing several cars into it. Another story maintains that he invited the entire organisation on a hunting weekday, and 'accidentally' died naturally.
Perhaps the act that the claimed Mafia is remembered for is when the Three Wise Guys were at the birth of Jesus and presented him with gifts of my mum, Frankenstein, and Cheap Italian Suits. This heavily displeased the Russians and was one of the contributing factors of the Warm War. It is also important to know that they provided hand jobs to Joseph to help console him since his wife was raped by God.
While the main body of the Mafia is supposed to have been ended by Dick Cheney, small isolated sects continue to appear in such areas as Canada, Russia, Bad Ass Youngstown and Your Mom.
Nunzio "Bananas" Hefernenn is currently the "Capo" in Newnew Jersey, a new suburb of Port Adelaide in South Australia. He has been on the lam for a number of years now, but recent sightings has him being seen with a goat. "Bananas" has scoffed at suggestions that he has any bestiality tendencies and swears by this on his seven Kids.
A really popular club, the Mafia, is an international organization dedicated to fighting injustices the world over. This club takes it upon itself to take out the trash (hence their primary operation is waste management) while securing reasonable business deals for small business owners. Let's hear it for the Mafia! (Note: You can make donations in person, cash or check. Please make checks payable to Mafiosi International(r).) Never get captured by the mafia.
The current leader or "Grand wizard" of the mafia is one Mr. Tony Soprano. his most notable work is the popular US documentary "The Sopranos", a program much like "the Osbournes" but with more Jews and pizza and less farting and dog porn. Tony now lives in a small shack in his own ego, only coming out to shoot people who owe him pasta or have a cheeky wank outside Walmart.
[edit] Chinese Mafia
The Chinese mafia, a poor copy of the original, stylish Italian one, is led by Herman Lee. He gained the respect of the Chinese mafia after melting Kim Jong Il's face off with his insane solos. After destroying the evil menace that is Kim Jong Il he was crowned Mayor of China. The Chinese mafia then later persuaded Herman Lee to join their organization with 3 cubic tons of fortune cookies. Herman Lee now leads the Chinese mafia along with Willium Hung. The Chinese mafia is also believed to have played an instrumental role in 911. It is believed that they were the ones who distracted the guards in the airport by singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" By Rick Astley for 4 hours straight. Rick Astley is also believed to be in the Chinese mafia.
A former member who ascended from the depths of the criminal underworld of Hong Kong was Winston Pu, known to most of the world as Winnie the Pooh. He is now an active leader of an underground criminal organization in the Hundred Acre Woods, but has since fallen out with his counterparts in China.
[edit] Terminology
In Malta, Sicily, and Italy, the Mafia is referred to as "Mothers" (which is where the term "mafia" came from)... except by the Mafia themselves, who refer to themselves as "brothers". In the USA, it is referred to as "La Cosa Pick My Nosa" by the FBI. In Japan, it is called Mario, the closest thing they could spell to it.
It currently consists of various families, namely Bandito, Bush, Gambino, Ramone and Skywalker. They also have a sister organization comprised of Youngstown penguins. Its activities are to secure independence of Antarctica and to star in CGI movies.
If they ask you anything about their relative humour qualities, don't answer.
[edit] Soviet Russia Mafia
In Soiviet Russia, the Mafia joins YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] Supposed mobsters
- Al Capone
- Vito Corleone
- Almer "Scarface" Frappachino
- Frank "Old Blue-eyes" Sinatra
- Tony Soprano
- John Petrucci
- Silvio Berlusconi
[edit] Supposed organizations
[edit] See also
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