User:Darwin of suburbia/Maddie McCann

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Maddie McCann is both an up and coming sex symbol from Moroccan cinema, and a Missing White Person (MWP). This article is written under the assumption that they are the same person.

“The great benefit of cremation is that there's no questioning over why it's a closed coffin, or why it's not white”
~ Sky News reporter on Objective reporting
“Poor her, I hope they find her”
~ 1700 other children that have gone missing since Maddie did

edit Early life

The recorded life of Maddie "جنسي شقراء" McCann the actress begins with the end of the recorded life of Maddie McCann the sweet little MWP, so this section is entirely about the latter.

edit Childhood

Maddie was born to a religious family of doctors, each of which bestowed upon Maddie a magic spell. Her mother gave her the gift of White skin. Her father gave her the gift of beauty, and interesting eyes. She was raised presumably as a Catholic, and thus was ready from an early age for her future career, following an education at a leading Sunday school. Being the first child born in her Parish, she immediately attracted the attention of many of the local Pedophile-Priests, but was very coy, after listening to lots of Katie Melua and related media. This awarded her great respect in a town where most people would give up their morals for high standing in the church.

edit Career in MMORPGs and as a hacker

Maddie gained brief fame under the name "Leeroy Jenkins", but failed to maintain fame in the internet culture sector. She decided that the best way to launch her career would be to perform in the newly opening "Mollywood" Moroccan disco film industry. She commented, in a rare television interview:

"I never wanted to be as famous as I was, but I wanted to be famous for a longer period, right now I wanted to be doing television interviews or something, but I have had no offers since the WoW debacle, I guess this is what happens when one goes it alone. *sigh* As I said to my esteemed friend, Star wars kid:
int career();
while (cont!=1)
printf("The public still care about you");
fscanf(The_Sun "%c", &Sex_romp_shame);
printf("Continue?\n 1=Yes, 0=No");
scanf("%d", &cont);

I mean, you do what you think will please everyone, but it seems they demand the opposite. To survive in this dog eat dog world, of tabloid culture, and verily woeful scandel, it seems, alas, that infamy and debachery are all that can hold you in the minds of the great seething mass of the expectant audience"

Despite the pretence in this statement, Maddie did manage to realise she wasn't the queen, and set her sights on the acting industry, being shortlisted to play a main role in a film with a blond child-girl in one of the main roles. Possibly Narnia... But she wasn't chosen for it anyway.

edit ==

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This page will be re-checked on 3 October 2009
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