Madden NFL 2004

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Madden NFL 2004 was the fourteenth season of the MFL, or the Madden Football League. Highlights of the season included the Pittsburgh Steelers kicking the crap out of both the Minnesota Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl.


edit Before the season

The NFL Draft kicked off with a speech by commissioner Jon Bon Jovi about nothing in particular. The entire audience fell asleep after about five minutes, and ESPN switched to its broadcast of Extreme Hide and Seek. After Bon Jovi finished his rambling, the draft started with a bang. The Chicago Bears chose Rex Grossman with the first pick; this was arguably a bad choice, as immediately following that pick was the drafting of Peyton Manning, Walter Payton, Gary Payton and Mr. T.


edit The regular season

The season was full of unexpected events. In the first week, the Seattle Seahawks got the huge upset over the New York Yankees, 15-0.3. Notable was the brief injury to Yankees quarterback Kobe Bryant; after the hit, Bryant was only off the field for one quarter before returning to the game. (It should be noted that immediately after the game Bryant was hit by a car and arrested for rape.)


edit The irregular season

During the playoffs, the Indianapolis Colts were the heavy favorites to win the Super Bowl. However, due to the entire team getting crunk at a party before the game, the MFL suspended the team for thirty games. Due to the Colts being unable to participate in the AFC Championship game (and the following two seasons), the Pittsburgh Steelers were able to defeat their nonexistent opponents 654-13. Nobody is sure how the Colts scored 13 points when they didn't even play.

The most controversial (but somehow expected) event of the playoffs was the NFC Championship game between the Minnesota Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks. The game went on for 23 overtimes, making it the fourth-longest game in MFL history. After Vikings receiver Randy Moss was hit full-on by a group of streakers, Bon Jovi ordered that the game be stopped and that both teams go on to face the Steelers in the Super Bowl, in a game of ultimate extreme three-way football.

edit The Super Bowl

The irregular season eventually culminated in Super Bowl MCLXVIVVZ in New Toronto, Arkansas. The first game of ultimate extreme three-way football was being played between the Seahawks, Vikings and Steelers for the MFL Championship. As predicted, the Steelers licked both their asses three ways down the field. They stuck their big brown balls in their endzones. Eventually, the Seahawks got transported to the video game Duck Hunt, and the Vikings got killed in a terrorist attack led by George W. Bin Laden, so the Steelers won the game.

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