The Country Formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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| Motto: "sip the moonshine" | |||||
| Anthem: depending on who ploughs the land | |||||
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| Capital | Skopje, other capitals include Tirana and Washington DC | ||||
| Largest city | Macedonian asshole | ||||
| Official languages | American, Albanian, Funny Serbian, Ridiculous Bulgarian, Greek [1] | ||||
| Government | White House | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Teddy Bear, Goran Pandev, George W. Bush | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | Heroin | ||||
| Religion | Christian, Islam, Scientology | ||||
| Population | 423 (+3 million Albanians (and counting)) | ||||
| Area | 3, 598, 120.093016 niggabytes | ||||
| Internet TLD | .northofnowhere | ||||
“They give my homeland a nutty name.”
~ Oscar Wildeski on Macedonia
“I don`t want to go further, I can freely die now.”
~ Marco Poloski while crossing Macedonia
Macedonia (pronounced "Make-It-Own-Ya!", Macedonian: Македонија), officially the Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia (Република Македонија) is a part of Japan. This, however is not recognized by the world, because of the dispute with Faroe Islands.
The full name of this country is now TCFKATFYROM (The Country Formerly Known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia), a title it adopted after achieving independence from the United Nations in 1991, following the collapse of the vowel industry (voulkaputskij) in neighbouring Yugoslavia. Though this name may seem unwieldy to English speakers, in the local language it is represented by a single sound which may be transliterated into the Latin alphabet as "crzvpjt". How this sound exactly sounds few can tell, cause it is unable to caught it on audio tape due to its unspecified frequency. The Macedonian flag shows the letter which represents this sound in the Macedonian alphabet.
Contents |
History
The Macedonian state was first created before the appearance of the dinosaurs some 300 million years ago, but then after, some neighboring breeds of human like dinosaurs appeared and started deleting its history.. Since then, all these poor but yet unique and charming species are suffering from their over consuming always hungry neighboring herds of dinosaurs.. which later, naturally, since eating too much, developed into Pigs! One pig in particular has been extremely annoying lately with its unsatisfied hunger, but it may cry forever since the rest of us is here and not going anywhere!
Josip Broz Tito (it is still unclear which one on them it was) and as such represents the first virtual state in cyberspace as it was occupied by Nazi Germany for two more years before physical independence. Thus, the Internet was invented in Macedonia, by Macedonians and for Macedonians. Wireless was also invented in Macedonia many centuries ago, as recent excavations have found absolutely no wires.
The name Macedonia was from the first moment, just after the Big Bang, disputed by the country formerly and presently known as Greece and recognized by itself as the Hellenic Republic, a country that has held the trademark since 4000 BC, but, to the Hellenic Republic's disappointment, lost its rights when the SWIPO ruled in favour of Tcfkatfyromians. And of course, we are suppose to write about Macedonia here but since I just mentioned Greece I cant help it mentioning that Mother Teresa was also actually Greek, but just like Alexandros, stupid firomianians are stilling her from us.. And we are also bombing India for stealing her from us, going there and feeding those non Greek barbarians.
Bulgaria has historically laid claim to Macedonia owing to the desire of the Bulgarians to get their hands on the Grease mines at Tetovo. Previously it was full of Turkeys until they were driven out by Franz Ferdinand, Gavrilo Princip and Boy George during the Worst World War. RM was then invaded by Alexander Battenburg, a cake maker and expert in fancy icing, waving the Treaty of San Stefano and a lock of Oscar Wilde's hair. Alexander Battenburg slipped on the Grease and was helped up by Stamboliskii a pastry cook from Narnia.
One of the three Titos also created federal states of Nokia (with the capital of Adidas-Ali Babas), and Pepsistan, but had to reinstate the previous regimes after he was fined a hefty sum for patent violations. Regime change was apparently patented by Jorgos Dubelvelios Busos in ancient Athens and due to subsequent patent durex extensions over centuries, has wound up in the property of an obscure religious cult in Nagorna Amerikistania.
John Lennon has never visited Macedonia. George Harrison on the other hand, had intentions to visit Macedonia, but his pilots couldn't find it on the map. And when they finally found it, they couldn't land on it cause it was too small and their plane just fly over it. After a few unsuccessful attempts they retrieved, and George Harrison got into a great depression.
However there exists a whole new upcoming theory, calling for complete renewal of this History version of Fyrom. New data is being collected, about a "PLANET FYROM" a brown dwarf star,that emits dim light and orbits our solar system once every 26000 years to collect old shoes and rotten cheese from Earth. The hypothesis is supported by NASA, that has recently discovered the planet Dirtybiru, but after patriotic Fyromian protests, the matter was reconsidered in dark Lobbyingrooms, and it was decided, that the new-found planet will be called FYROM. The main Fyromian argument was that Fyrom state is "older than the Sun" thus having direct origins to probably most existing celestial bodies, especially the ones we can not see. Also the great similarity between Fyromians and Grey Aliens is suggestive of alien origin for this great fun loving slaves.
Also a newly discovered civilization the "Dogons" have recognized Fyromian people as the flying Gods that handed them the secret art of farting. No matter how controversial this "alien" origin theory is, it is the only one so far that sounds Fyromian enough for Fyromians, and also explains several anomalies in the human genome and History as pointed out by the divine scientist Zacharia Sitchin. Many Fyromians believe that their history will project to the Future, in 2012, when the extraterrestrial Fyromians re-enter earth's atmosphere. It is believed that a depopulation of earth will follow so as to adjust earth only for the need of the chosen people of Fyrom. Bulgarians will try to remind them they are brothers but they too will perish, so that only pure 100% monkeydonian Fyromians will inhabit the Earth, which will also be the true end of the Fyromian identity issue.
Current Developments
In a recently proposed United Nations resolution it has been suggested that the name of the Country Formerly known as the Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia be changed to the "The Country Formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia".
It was soon-after realised, however, that this already was the former country's former name. Namely, it was its current name. Realising that the name was confusing, it was officially changed to "Greece" (with quotation marks). Protests by Greek diplomats meant that the name was changed to the "Country that was Formerly known as Greece, but is not Greece". Further mayhem ensued. On the suggestion of China, the country was designated as being "Greece 2.1", as opposed to the real Greece, which was called "Greece - Original Flavour".
Having two countries with the name "Greece" caused many problems like hardware conflicts, packages being delivered to the wrong country, diarrhea and ass pain. Therefore the new Chinese government sponsored UN resolution to finally dissolve this issue, leading to the present day situation :
Greece - Original Flavour' is now known by its original name: "Greece", with the permission to refer to this country with its constitutional and highly popular name "HellAss".
While Greece 2.1 is now the following:
'The Country Formerly Known as Greece 2.1 Formerly Known as Greece, Previously the Country Formerly Known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Formerly Being the Same Name, i.e. The Country Formerly Known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia'
In that way, the Chinese government found a solution to satisfy both sides, especially the Greek side. And hence, they found an 'unambiguous' name for Macedonia which basically states the same, but now the Greek side is finally satisfied.
Culture
The Macadamian flag shows the letter which represents this sound in the Macedonian alphabet. A thrilling country indeed, the only country in the region that is still untouched by the threats of modern dentistry and common sense. Wild yet tamed, the people of Macedonia, though nationally challenged, are hospitable and they will not hesitate to provide you with the sexual services of any female -or indeed, both male and female- relative who might be handy at the moment for the fee of $50 per capita (which, quite ironically, is twice the GDP/capita in this virgin only in terms of modern industry and infrastructure country)!
Demographics
- The majority of the population declares themselves as Macedonian, even its clear to everyone that all the existence is an illusion, so accordingly they know they don't exist, if not well make them know that.
- What this people say they are called, what they declare to be is irrelevant, if you want to know this people best to listen to their neighbours. They will tell you the truth about who these people really are.
- Greeks, that were kicked so bad by Alexander the Macedonian's army that is still hurts, cannot stand the very existence of Macedonians so the Macedonian population simply does not exist, so in the lines of the ancient Greek philosophy of Buddhism, it's a Former Nonexistent Population (FNP). Most of all there is NO Former Nonexistent Population in Greece, don't you EVER think differently!
- For the Bulgarians, Macedonians have not yet understood that in fact they are Bulgarians, simple no?
- For Italians, that don't really care about Buddhist philosophy or proving that all are Ancient Romans, Macedonia is... hmm a fruit salad.
The Maccadamian identity developed in the late XVIII century, although most historians today agree that Macedonians are just Serbs with a heavy speech impediment (Srbi so teshkata govornata maanata), which is the PC term for Macedonian nationals. However, under hypnosis, most people worldwide will start speaking a traditional Macedonian dialect in that they will emit sounds like "grnche" or "shtipalkata", therefore proving, beyond any doubt, that humanity has its origins in the village of Jurumljare or Bulachani.
Famous People
Goran Pandev A soccer player from Lazio. He is one of the two famous people of Macedonia (well the only living one now). At least as long as he pays the mafia. But remember; there is no such thing as the mafia.
With reference to the other famous person that died, celebrity pop star and rocket engineer Tose Proeski, there are two major theories concerning his death, which was reported initially as a car accident. Theory A) states that Tose was taken by aliens who needed his divine voice, to save their dying Solar system from a destructive anomaly. Theory B) states that his manager drove the one side of the car under a track while Tose was asleep on the passenger seat, to collect the life insurance money, which would give him an easy life in the luxurious mud villages of Fyromsky Empire. The manager has vanished since then, but many witnesses place him in the area of Tibet, were he struggles for the Liberation of his fellow Fyromian - Buddhist Monks. In any case, Fyrom society found the loss of Tose Proeski, too heavy to bare, and so they are reading Greek books again, to steal a character or two as suited. Others have proposed, the injection of Fyrom dna in the body of Greek pop star, Eurovision tart and active priest Sakis, as a replacement of Tose.
Footnotes
- ↑ Not to be confused with the Macedonian language which is spoken, by contrast, on the tiny Polynesian island of Raiatea Tahaa Rangiroa Nuku Hiva.
See also
| Northern Europe | Channel Islands · Denmark · Estonia · Faroe Islands · Finland · Guernsey · Iceland · Ireland · Isle of Man · Latvia · Lithuania · Norway · Old Jersey · Sealand · Svalbard · Sweden · United Kingdom | 
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| Western Europe | Austria · Belgium · Corsica · France · Germany · Liechtenstein · Luxembourg · Monaco · Netherlands · Switzerland | |
| Eastern Europe | Belarus · Bulgaria · Czech Republic · Hungary · Moldova · Poland · Romania · Russia · Slovakia · Ukraine | |
| Southern Europe | Albania · Andorra · Balearic Islands · Bosnia and Herzegovina · Croatia · Cyprus · Gibraltar · Gozo · Greece · Italy · Kosovo · Macedonia · Madeira · Malta · Montenegro · Portugal · San Marino · Serbia · Sicily · Slovenia · Spain · Vatican City |
