From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This is a time of great distress for our fellow kind. The secret prawn/communist world cabal has plunged the world in economic collapse in its plot to control the human population. The filthy, barbaric prawns are breeding like rabbits, threatening to destroy our species' ecology with their putrid biological functions.
That is why we, Die Menslike Weerstandbeweging, is declaring war on the inferior prawn race, and their guardian, the black-run media deceiving all of Suid-Afrika.
edit Who We Are
Menslike Weerstandbeweging is a pro-human rights, pro-democracy organization dedicated to protect the superior human species. Anyone with a sense of pride for our Earth and for our human race are welcome to join as full members of the MWB.
Since our inception in 1994 comprising of 10 patriotic founders in Johannesburg, we are now a full-fledged global organization, with affiliates in Britain, Australia, the Confederate States, Oranje-Vrystaat, and Southern Rhodesia.
edit We're Not Racist
Despite what you're thinking, the MWB is not discriminatory against any black, coloured, or Asian. Though we're inspired by fellow patriot Eugène Terre'Blanche and his Afrikaner Weerstandbeweging, we explicitly denounce the racist ideology they spew.
We believe that race is a social construct, and any race-fueled discrimination or hatred is tearing apart the beautiful human race, especially those libelous, anti-Semitic garbage by the world's prawns, blacks, and Zionists.
edit Our Proud History
edit The Situation
On 1984, the sanctity of our planet was being besieged by the prawns. Dirty, uncivilized space pirates apparently robbed technology from a noble alien species and were planning to infest another habitable planet. Instead of countering this extraterrestrial threat, the coloured-controlled United Nations welcomed the hideous race with open arms, claiming that these prawns are anywhere near the level of humans.
As soon as the prawns were settled in District 9 at the middle of Johannesburg, crime and poverty rose almost immediately in the city. Both white and black citizens witnessed the depravity that the prawn criminals exacted upon our once peaceful city: desecrating property, assaulting bypassers, raping young women, abducting children, and murdering innocents for money and meat.
edit Our Founding Members
In 1994, ten young college students, sickened by the plight of the less fortunate under the ballooning crime rates of the prawns, decided to act to save their city from the extraterrestrial filth. Though they were successful college students, the ten founding members were ethnically diverse and hailed from humble roots. They were:
- Lukas de Klerk
- Andries de Graaf
- Henrik de Gol
- Pieter Dupont
- Willem de Ljil
- Hans van der Trampf
- Adamson Jenkins
- Georgeton Samuels
- Lawrenceman Davis
- Shaka Griqua Negroguy
As you can obviously see, one of our founding members is black, and despite what you've heard from the Zionist news, he is real and not fabricated to entice people of color, since we are perfectly fine with recruiting blacks already.
edit We're for Racial Tolerance
How dare the savages of the African National Congress call us racist! It is clearly their intent to smear the name of our patriotic organization in their plot to integrate the filthy prawns into our society.
We guarantee you that no matter what color your skin is or what language you speak, you are free to join us in our quest to reclaim our planet from the inferior prawn race and their black/coloured/Asian accomplices in the Suid-Afrikaan government and media.
edit Pro-Human Legislation
We are currently proposing these laws in Die Nasionale Vergadering to ensure the preservation of the human species against the genetic impurity of the prawns.
- All cat food products shall be treated with xenospermicidal drugs as a measure of prawn population control.
- Every prawn shall volunteer at least 100 hours of their time for medical research.
- Justified use of deadly force on prawns shall be extended to trespassing, loitering, begging, strange hand gestures, prolonged eye contact, and voting.
- Car manufacturers of Suid-Afrika shall be required to install built-in flamethrowers to protect civilians from carjacking by prawns.
- Any prawn that consumes human flesh shall be subject to the death penalty and promptly ground into imitation crabmeat.
- Juvenile prawns without a parent or guardian shall be taken custody by the state and promptly sold to the circus.
- The method of execution for prawn felons shall be changed to humane lethal injection (i.e. injection of 2 liters of battery acid into the cloaca).
- Every year, 5,000 prawns shall be shipped to an undisclosed location for employment opportunities.
- For humans, first-degree murder of a prawn shall be punishable by 24 hours of community service and/or a public apology.
- Prawns born with physical and/or mental disabilities shall be euthanized via humane lethal injection or sold to the circus.
edit Our Friends
Though we are a Suid-Afrikaan human rights group, the MWB nevertheless welcome help from abroad. Here, we list our allies who share our collective struggle for human freedom:
- France: Front National
- Israel: Yisrael Beiteinu
- Italy: Fiamma Tricolore
- The Netherlands: Nieuw Rechts
- Suid-Afrika: Afrikaner Weerstandbeweging
- United Kingdom: British National Party
- United Kingdom: Conservative Party
- Confederate States: Cracker Barrel
- Confederate States: Ku Klux Klan
- Confederate States: Republican Party
edit Our Enemies
The reason as to why prawns are breeding like cockroaches to infest Earth is because of the avaricious foreign capitalists and the inept black politicians that accommodate to such filth. The following enemies of freedom are:
- Israel: Avoda
- United Kingdom: Labour Party
- United States: Anti-Defamation League
- United States: Democratic Party
- United States: New York Times
- United States: Southern Poverty Law Center
- Zululand: African National Congress
- Zululand: Black Panther Party
- Zululand: Zimbabwe African People's Union
As you can see, our opponents are comprised of militant organizations of all political and ethnic spectrum, as we never harbor bias against any human group.
edit Future Plans
As of now, the MWB is among the world's fastest growing humanitarian organization. We are currently opening new international branches in Germany, Austria, Sweden, Die Nederland, Ustaša, and Zululand, illustrating our commitment to bringing all human diversity into one global human village. We also recently formed a youth wing, Die Kinders van Weerstand, dedicated to teaching tolerance and achievements of the human species for the next generation.
The fight between good and evil is still raging on this planet. Everyone must contribute to this war effort so that the valiant, noble human Wonderfolk can triumph over the extraterrestrial pro-communist, pro-Zionist prawn Onwaardige.