Mystery Science Theater 3000

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Dr. Forrester
Well, boys, I'm not screening you a movie tonight.
Thank God!
Dr. Forrester
I found something even better for this week's experiment: Our Uncyclopedia article!
Joel, Tom Servo, and Crow

edit (Mystery Science Theater 3000's Review of) Mystery Science Theater 3000


This article is about the original television series. For the 2017 remake, see Mystery Science Theater 3000 (reboot).
“Duuuude! This show is bodacious!”
~ '90s kid on MST3K
Ohoho! The joke is that kids in the '90s spoke slang!
Tom Servo
Radical, brah! We should totally catch some gnarly waves once we're done! Get Tony Hawk up in this shit!
“This show isn't funny!”
~ Pauly Shore after casting in Bio-Dome on MST3K
after casting in Bio-Dome on MST3K in bed.
“This show is for the real niggas.”
~ Tupac on MST3K
Well, that's a problem. Not only am I fake; I'm the biggest cracker in the galaxy.
“This show is like a pizza on a pan. In other words, this quote makes no sense.”
~ Oscar Wilde on MST3K
Tom Servo
"Hey, the contract said we had to have an Oscar Wilde quote. It said nothing about it being comprehensible English."

The infamous logo for the televison series.

(CROW) I assume that a mentally disturbed third grader put this one together.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is an American movie-mocking science-fiction cult comedy television series

Sweet! One more descriptor and I'll get a free coupon at Denny's!

that originally ran from 1988 to 1999, for ten seasons.

Tom Servo
Ten seasons? The fact that we made it past the third episode is proof that the Lord is intervening regularly.

The show is created by and based on the life of Joel Hodgson, a stand-up comedian that was also a part-time janitor. Joel was captured against his will by two mad scientists, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank (collectively known as "The Brains"), and shot into space onto the Satellite of Love, where they would force him to watch cheesy B-movies. To keep himself entertained and sane,

Both of which I failed at.

he enlisted the help of his two robot buddies, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, that he had previously built for his 8th grade science fair. Together, they would watch these bad movies (mostly including, but not limited to, bad sci-fi movies) and provide a mocking commentary running over it. In addition to raising public awareness of crappy movies, the Brains' experiment was also used to identify the most intelligent people in the world by seeing who understood the most obscure details about things that nobody cared about.

"Most obscure details about things that nobody cared about"? This joke is much too obscure for me. I give up.

Often, people who didn't know what they were watching would often go insane because they had no idea where the commentary voices came from. After the 89th case of this, the hosts put silhouettes of themselves on the bottom of the screen. In season five, Hodgson escaped the spacecraft in a box of Hamdingers and landed in the Australian Outback. His parting words to his robots were a quote from The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao. Series head writer Mike Nelson then replaced him as the destroyer of worlds, and continued in the role for the rest of the show's run.

Tom Servo
"Later, the cast was eaten by giant, fanged hams and the crew imploded, ending the series forever."

The results of this experiment were monitored by the Brains who sold the data to the programmers of cable TV stations such as TNT and TBS, which led to the creation of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. During its original run, MST3K attained critical acclaim, winning two Torgo Awards and being nominated for a Cherokee Jack Award.

I'm Cherokee Jack.

The MST3K method of weeding out smart people from the rest has also been applied to other media such as fan fiction and interactive fiction, which is also plentiful with crap.

edit Characters

The Warrior - Manowar

Joel Robinson when he escaped from the the spiritual world.

(MIKE) When did Joel start photoshopping his publicity photos?

(JOEL) I think it looks remarkably like me.

Joel Robinson: An insane, strong, comedic, and bright man that built the robots to do messed up stuff.

"Messed up stuff"? Oh, my god! The memories! They're coming back!

Mike Nelson: The mad man destroyer of worlds obviously enjoys blowing up planets with baking soda

Tom Servo
That sounds unhealthy.

and sticks the middle finger at the planet and he almost killed Bobo, Brain Guy, and Pearl Forrester,

(pops up out of nowhere)
I allegedly almost killed them, thank you very much.
Get out of here, Mike! You were never funny!

but is yet comedic. Hodgson and Nelson are considered by fans to be just as entertaining as the other without dispute, but also that neither are quite as good as the delightful Jonah Ray.

Mike Nelson

Mike Nelson during the first time he appeard.

Whose side are you on?

Frank: Is Dr. Clay Forrester's friend who is a idiot and him and Forrester like throwing parties down in Deep 13.

Dr. Clay Forrester: Is sort of a wise-ass douch,

Tom Servo
I am Tom Servo and I approve of this messag.
Terminator 1

Crow T.Robot as he appeared for the first time.

but he did the right thing by shooting Joel into space because Joel bullied them

I allegedly bullied them, thank you very much.
Tom Servo
Didn't Mike already do that one?

and he saved Earth by shooting Mike into space right before he rised Satan from the ground.

Pearl Forrester: Is a psycho and is Clay Forrester mother and girl-friend for a very wrong reason. Pearl Forrester killed her son/boyfriend by stabbing him eight times in the chest and when she retired she cloned Michael Myers to bring his madness once agian.

Not Michael Myers! That monster!

Crow: Is a 40% uncontrollable crazy dumbass

Hey, wait a minute...

(but is comedic and fun) robot and almost opened an airlock in the movie that almost killed Tom Servo and Mike Nelson.

Tom Servo

Tom Servo's final design.

(TOM SERVO) I look much better in high heels than I thought I would.

Tom Servo The wise, funny, but a tad stupid robot that is in control of himself and is not defective like Crow.


A concept art for Gypsy for the episode where she planned to take revenge on Joel, but he survived from getting launched into space.

Can a robot sue for libel?
Tom Servo
We're in the middle of space. Who the hell would we bring the case to?
Judge Lightyear, of course!
Tom Servo
Wow, you are a dumbass.

Gypsy: Is a mentaly challenged bot because Joel never loved her and got lazy on her.

Blah blah blah, whine whine whine, LOL YOU SPELLED "MENTALLY" WRONG

An art and final design of Cam-Bot.

Bobo: A highly intelligent, giant gorilla capable of telekinesis.

Brain Guy: Isn't smart at all, they just named him that because he's a moving brain.

Cambot: You might think Cambot is the most pointless one becuase he just stands there and records, but if you think about it, who would be showing us the footage?

Dr. Laurence Erhardtedit: Is the smartest and gets bullied the most, but got eaten by Kumonga.

Tom Servo
Kumonga? Those are the giant, fanged hams I was talking about!
Giant, fanged hams
(flies into the theater)
We could really sink our teeth into this. Ba dum tish!

edit Plot

I'll explain in song!:

Oh, somebody just shoot me already!

In a far galaxy in the distant past. Next Thursday, A.D.

Tom Servo
Thursday is funnier than Sunday because it has the word "whores" in it, kinda.
Whore's day? These guys are cleverer than I thought!

There was a guy named Joel, Too different than you or me.

But Barney the Purple Dinosaur told me that nobody's different.

He worked in a satellite loading bay, Just destroying switches to not pay his way; He did his job well with a vicious face, But his bosses were scared of him, so they shot him in the face and into space.

Tom Servo
How does any of that work out at all?
Just think to yourself: It's just a song...

He'll be watching cheesy movies, The worst ever made. Joel says when you got brains, You make brain juice.

So now I'm a fudgepacker and a zombie!

Now keep in mind he can't control When the movies begin or end, Because he doesn't care so, he used the parts of the VCR To make his robot minions.

Robot roll-call: Cambot, Tom Servo,

That's me!

Gypsy, Croooow!

Tom Servo
Right here! (Don't you just love pranking the substitute?)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts, Why the fuck you asking me these qustions? It's just a show, you should just shut up you cock eater for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Thank God that's over.

Now theres a second version of this song:


In the far-too-distant future. Way down in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester and Not so bright Frank were hatching an good Scheme. They hired a dick by the name of Mike,

Well, I'll give them that.

Just a regular Joel they were scared of. Mike destroyed the experiment and almost the world, but they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space. (Bitch niggas!)

"Bitch niggas" pretty much describes all of the internet.

He'll be watching cheesy movies, The worst he can find (da-da-da). He doesn't have to sit and watch them all, but he has nothing else to do (bark-bark-bark).

Tom Servo
Who let the dogs out?

Now keep in mind Mike can't control where the movies begin or end (boom-boom-boom) he'll try to keep his sanity with no help of his robot friends.

Tom Servo
Yeah, we're assholes.

Robot Roll Call: Ah, you already know their names.

Damn it! I was gonna go as Seymour Butz this time!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts (fuck-crap-crap),

"Fuck-crap-crap" pretty much describes all of life.

Just screw yourself it's just a show, you dicks should really just relax for Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Well, that sucked. Who wants to go riff our Conservapedia article now?
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Mystery Science Theater 3000.
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