M4 Carbine

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M4 Carbine
Catgun
An M4 Carbine in action.
Creators Activision Weapons R&D (Regurgitation & Disposal), U.S.A.
Preceeded By M-16, not MI6
Version M-16 2.Who cares?
Add-Ons M203 Grenade Launcher, Laser sights, various lasers
Round Types 5.56 x 42mm Round
Wars Gulf War, War on Terror


Wikisplode
The so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article on M4 Carbine much gayer than this one. According to protocol, they must Asplode.

The M4 /emfōar/ is a shorter, somewhat, if at all, better version of the M16 rifle. It's been in service since the late 20th Century, which caused the development of a newer weapon (i.e. the HK416) to replace the M4 and M16. Interestingly, the HK416 is partly based on the M4. The '4' in the M4 Carbine stands for the 4 Needs of A Better M16, written by Sir Isaac Newton. No one found these, for they were probably written on a Napkin at McDonalds.

edit History

Eugene Stoner developed the M16 from the AR10. Unfortunately, the initial M16s were loaded with stupidity instead of ammunition, which caused them to jam so much that all later models had the undeserved reputation of sucking. Alarmed by this, the Department of Defense came up with a "new" design.

Due to the laziness and pathetic funding to the U.S. Department of Defense, they couldn't be bothered to make a completely new gun. A spare M16 was obtained, then someone sawed six inches off the barrel, cut the stock in four to make it telescopic, and made it fully automatic like the Colt Commando. Then it was shown it to the United States Top Brass, who then tested it by dropping it a few times on the ground and putting a magazine full of blanks into it (they couldn't shoot it because they were too incompetent to know how). With these so-called "tests" a success, they found more M-16's, had the barrels sawn off, changed the stock, and shipped them off to the soldiers.

Shortly afterward, the military became fond of the rifle system and began to partly phase-out the M16 system with the M4, which had already become popular with Special Forces, like the Green Berets. However, this will be eventually phased-out by some piece of plastic that no one really bothered to test. In the mean time, the M4 is being shipped out in multiple packages (such as the M4C, for civil defense and local militias). Also, due to a growing hate of leftists in the United States, the M4 is becoming popular with the conspiracy theorists living in their basements, waiting for the Second American Civil War to happen between the conservatives, centrists, ultra-leftists, etc.

edit Terminology

  • Bullet - the tip of the thing you load into the magazine, disposable and battery powered.
  • Firing Pin - pushes the bullet out of the gun hole at over 9000 miles per second.
  • Muzzle - the back of the gun where the used casings fall out.
  • Buttstock - A large metal plate that comes with the gun and is placed in the pants (weapon cannot be fired without it)
  • Gun - See "Penis"
  • Rifle - Object that shoots bullets and goes "boom"; not to be confused with gun.

edit Variants

edit M4A1

The M4A1 is a slightly different, more compact version of the M4 Carbine. It is also more attachment friendly (even though it doesn't support most silencers and drum magazines due to its smaller size). It is very popular among paramilitary groups, and the numbers being produced are rising. However, the FN P90 is competing well against it due to its popularity among police forces and soldiers of fortune.

edit M4-PKR

On January 6, 2011, a new squad automatic weapon was designed to:

  1. Be non-lethal with a lethal attachment capability.
  2. Replace the MG-249 SAW.

It had a crappy reload time due to the strange shape of the magazine holder, unlike some of the other M4 variants, and it has no sense of humour what so ever. The design was scrapped on January 9, 2004, just three days after a prototype was completed, for it always homed in on the testicles of the target the rifleman was aiming at, even if the target was cardboard. Hense the name, "pecker" (PKR).

edit Known Users

edit See Also

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