M

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Mikipedia

Before Wikipedia was put on the net...

You may be looking for M (number) and not even know it!

Like, seriously.

“Forty-two.”
~ Douglas Adams on the letter M
“The little chap's growing on me, certainly.”
~ Oscar Milde on the letter W
“MMMMM... Toasty”
~ Creepy Quizno's Guy on the letter M
“Pop pop pop music”
~ M on his song 'Pop Muzik'
“M letter 13, bad letter.”
~ Chief on the letter M
“Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”
~ Crash Test Dummies on the virtues of being pensive

The letter M comes before N, and after K in the English alphabet. This is mainly because the other letters will not finish off L under any circumstances.

edit History

M was first discovered (in the lower case) by Albert Einstein in 1905BC within his formula for the produce of eggs: E=mc². However, long since his glamorous days with 'Big Al', M (not unlike the letter N), has been prostituted to sell - "Mmmm, murdered mink morsels!!!" one ginger-haired, be-freckled Gingham-wearing poppet is often heard to exclaim in adverts for something that looks like the contents of a miner's lungs after 40 years of smoking heavily.

edit Uses

edit Then

In them olden times, M appeared to be the runt of the litter. Back then, in those days of yore, 'T' took to the stage, with such blockbuster words as 'thee', 'thy', 'thoo' and 'thermonuclear.' The latter being an example of when M would pitch in every now and then , sharing some of the limelight with one of his countless of siblings. This would usually be in words such as 'them', 'me' and 'mtwelve' (as it was originally spelt, with a silent 'M'). H has naturally, become known as T's partner in crime, despite having slept with 29.

edit Now

While essential to providing moist mouthfeel, the chasm between accepted M attributes and M fiction, the main purpose of M to most people is supporting their favorite -isms. M also frequently guest stars in the dialogue and even the titles of sell-out franchises as The Simpsons and the Mission: Impossible series of films (ad nauseum). It currently can be seen worldwide outside McDonalds. Take that, T! Where's your T-Donalds, huh?

edit Popularity

The letter M has been widely regarded by most societies to be their most favourite, and cherished letter. In fact, it was voted the 7th most likable letter of the alphabet by the Great British Public in 2001, as part of a poll for Channel 4. Hosted by Sir Carol Vorderman, The 100 Greatest Letters of the Alphabet in the World Ever (retitled 'The 100 Greatest Letters of the Alphabet in the World Ever from Hell' when rebroadcast to the likes of Satanist tribes to gain a wider interest in what was inevitably yet another top 100 list) saw the nation's favourite letters set in stone as:

Hollymood

An example of the grave misuse of the letter 'M'.

  • 1 F
  • 2 Q
  • 3 Z
  • 4 E
  • 5 R
  • 6 T
  • 7 M
  • 8 Y
  • 9 O
  • 10 X

But despite M's ever growing fondness with well-known celebrities such as the Pope, it is often underused, overlooked, and in the worst of cases... mistreated. This was put to a stop however, two years after the Channel 4 poll, when the British government issued several campaign posters with now well-recognised slogan: "An 'M' is for mife, not just for Christmas" (previously "An 'M' is for life, not just for Christmas", until the printing company learnt of the confusion they had caused the world's writers, and the trouble they had caused the Dictionary). An unfortunate bi-product of the campaign launch however, was the construction of 5 hundred new McDonald's 'restaurants' across the globe.

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