Lundy Island

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Lundy Island is a small Island in the Bristol Channel, somewhere between England and Wales. It is currently home to around 18 people and 1800 sheep. It was founded in 603 BC when a group of druids, tired of being persecuted, cut off a large chunk of Devon and towed it out into the Bristol channel using primitive motor boats. Once there they set up a small village and continued to live a peaceful life. They bred until their numbers were about 150.

History

British Invasion of 1802

The year was 1802 and the Napoleonic Wars were at their fiercest. Lundy Island was invaded by Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson, who mistook the island for the coast of France (his depth perception wasn't very good as he only had one working eye).

The British decided to try and win the hearts and minds of the Islanders. In the massacre that followed 273 people were killed. 110 of these were Nelson's own men killed by friendly fire and 2 of these were Nelson himself (he fell overboard and was drowned, rescued, revived with CPR then fell overboard and drowned again).

The British occupied Lundy Island for six months until they realised where France really was and sailed West to conquer them.

The Great Sheep Famine of 1962

In 1962 the sheep population off the island, tired of the hard life they endured on Lundy Island, built a fleet of rafts and set sail for Wales.

Civil unrest followed with mass riots and demonstrations in the streets. There was great fear that the population might starve to death.

The crisis was eventually solved two weeks later when a group of Welsh sheep, tired of the hard life they endured in Wales, built a fleet of rafts and set sail for Lundy Island.

Winter of 2009/2010

Whilst the rest of the British Isles was a sheet of white (Snow White) and the seven dwarves were lost in drifts, Lundy Island was basking in the glory of a warm summer's glow. However, this turned to hell on earth (back to normal in a way) when the searing heat caused a drought. The council had to import water supplies from London as there is no water on the island. This was costly and has meant that their great motorway project (building a single lane carriageway from north to south) has been put on hold along with the mountain import.


Lundy Island Today

Wildlife

As well as sheep there are over ten different species of birds, none of them interesting. Rats were introduced to the island in 1957 by accident, but quickly died out because of social awkwardness. It is also rumoured to be a wild mountain bear even though there is no mountain.

The Lundy Island Cabbage

The Lundy Island Cabbage is a fabled cannibalistic cabbage that roams the island during the months of May and June. It is believed to have been responsible for at least seventeen deaths, although as these were of Finnish tourists who thought they were in Somerset no-one cared much outside of Helsinki and even then the Finnish authorities only sent a short letter of protest to the British government six months later requesting that the British Like, try and find out what happened if you can. Just if you've got time, because we know you're quite busy at the moment, but, you know, it would be nice to know. No rush or anything. The Cabbage became a protected species under the auspices of the World Wildlife Fund in2008 , which was of scant consolation to the families in Finland who had lost loved one and couldn't get anyone in the Finnish government to act, because whenever they rang them, they got an answering machine message that said The Government of Finland is not in right now but leave a message and we'll call you back if we've got time, but don't be offended if we don't call back right away because we've got loads on at the moment and we're working late.

Geography

  • Lundy Island is an island.
  • It doesn't have much geography as it can only afford to employ one geography teacher.
  • It has a lot of coasts and a bit of grass.
  • The council is thinking of importing a mountain.

Government

The Island is ruled by a tyrannical dictator called Gordon Brown.

Economy

The Island's economy is largely tourism based. They trick unsuspecting tourists that they are sailing to America then dump them on Lundy Island and charge them extortionate amounts to be taken back to civilisation.

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